falling out of love (trying to)

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]At the beginning of the year I confessed my feelings to one of my close friends. I have liked her for a long time and I like her more everyday that passes by. I gathered the courage to do so since I suspected would reciprocate feelings since she gave me signals. However, things didn't turn out well and she rejected me saying she wasn't "emotionally available" and didn't want to hurt my feelings or our friendship.

I told her it was okay and after a while awkwardness, we continued our friendship as always. I see her in school everyday and we're in the same friend group, so I had to ignore the elephant in the room. However, I feel awful. I can't ignore my feelings and the rejection still hurts a lot. I wish I could hug and kiss her, be with her when she needs it most and be someone special to her. I've tried to move on but everything I try leads to step 1 all over again, I just can't.

I don't know what the best decision is, but I want to be happy and carefree again. I want to move on but at the same time I don't. What should I do?

Thank you <3[/size][/color][/font]

[Mallika]

Hello there,

Thanks for reaching out!

I'm sorry that you're going through a tough rejection - I've been there and it sucks. I understand that you will be in a state of denial for some time and feel like breaking down every so often. That's the pain of unrequited love, but that's unfortunately something most of us go through in our lifetimes.

Having been through this process myself, I can share a couple of tips:

- The reality is that the person whom you have special feelings for is not entitled to reciprocate them. They might mean the world to you and you might spend all your spare time thinking of what being in a relationship with them would be like. However, this person is an individual and thus will have their own emotions and feelings. In some situations, romantic feelings might mutual, but sadly that isn't always the case. I suggest trying to find some time where you can be by yourself and do some calming, even meditative, activities that allow you to introspect/reflect. Even giving an honest pep talk to yourself regarding this might be helpful. So long as you find a way to internalise and accept this fact about the girl you like in particular, that'll be the first step towards moving on. This will be the hardest part, but also a sure-fire step towards doing so.

- Meeting others might help you take the next steps towards moving on. I'm not necessarily saying that you should start looking for another girl to date, but rather, you can expand your social circle to meet more friends and people. Who knows, you might hit it off with someone else! I know it seems unimaginable right now when your mind is still filled with thoughts and emotions towards this girl, but trust me when I say this - it IS possible to move on. I moved on after 4 years of being crazily in love with someone, so can you. Just because one door closed now doesn't mean a new one will not open. In fact, I tend to believe that something MUCH better is awaiting you

Lastly, cry it out, vent it out. Whether you like to write/journal or de-stress by exercising, go for it. Self-care and mental health are so important especially when you're going through a rejection. Do make sure that you're looking after your health. Exercising, particularly, helps you feel more optimistic about the future, and I definitely recommend that.

You can always PM me if you have any questions or if you'd like to chat about anything

[AlwaysGoing]

Start caring about it with them. It'll take time, your body and mind are use to the idea of them.


But what I can tell you is completely true is in the future you'll look back and think you wish you hadn't been so obsessed. You'll realize how much you missed out on because you couldn't get over it.



Think of it this way, you're missing out on everything because you're getting nothing from one person. Don't do that to yourself. Spend less time with them but put yourself first that you have needs for reciprocation with anyone you want to invest feelings with.