When is it time to let go?

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I have been with a guy for three years and I am madly in love with him. Like all relationships we have had a lot of fights, particularly the last year and a half. The thing is that I feel like I always have to make plans. Sometimes he works a lot, but he’s usually off work before I am and he never just randomly comes over or even asks to see me. He will see me one weekend day and that’s about it, other than that unless I ask it’s pretty much nothing. When I try and tell him this is bothering me ( as I’ve been trying literally the last year of having this argument ) he becomes very defensive and it just leads to a big fight. It’s not just that, I just feel like our conversations are bland now. He is always talking about money. Money this, money that. He wants to he rich but I feel like he’s more interested in money than in me. When I tell him I want to see him more he gets mad and tell me he’s on his phone texting me all day. And we do text all day, but I don’t know why he thinks that replaces in person. I’m so hurt and I just don’t know what else to do.[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Well, talking about it never helps. I tried to talk about it, he told me that he’s busy and that I’m just a princess and will never be happy with the time he gives me. ( once a week wasn’t quite making me happy for the fact it made me FEEL like he didn’t want to see me anymore than that and was losing interest ) He now has me blocked on everything since last night. I was hysterical last night. I’m having a really hard time keeping myself together. He told me now since he doesn’t have to spend “6 hours a day on his phone texting me” he can have more time with his family. ( he lives with them and works 8 hours a day lately and is off by 2..)[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

[jeff1]

wow. im sorry about this. ive had trouble letting go too. Just PM me to talk.

[Rivière]

There are a couple of things that spring to mind here.

1. You're into him way more than he is you.
2. He has a lot of other things going on and feels you're being too demanding of his time.

If he was into you the way you are of him, he would make the effort to spend time trying to see you. He wouldn't just sit texting you all day like that. It comes across like he's doing it because that's the low-effort alternative and it's just a way of pleasing you.

The reason why you've been trying to text him so much is because he won't make the effort to communicate with you. You're trying to keep things together when he clearly isn't interested in doing so. He could have at least considered that aspect, or at least try and talk it out with you rather than become very defencive. It's not as though your demands are extreme. You just want to spend time with the person you love, and they don't seem to want to give you the time of day so you're trying to find an alternative.

I know exactly how it feels when the person you love so very much breaks your heart and pushes you aside the way he has. His attitude towards you is unacceptable and horrific. The unfortunate thing with many people is that one side ends up trying to communicate, whereas the other side either doesn't know how, or want to. This is where relationships fail.

His lack of willingness to see your side of the story, or bother to explain what's going on with him has caused the relation to fall apart. That's through no fault of your own, but his.

There is no easy way to get through the heartbreak of trying to move forward past the person that splits us in half. Sadly the only thing you can give yourself is time and try and distract yourself in different ways. Consider taking up a new hobby or going for walks. Chat with friends and tell them all about what's been going on. Try new computer games, go to the gym and/or try out new exercises. Experiment with making new foods. While all of these things may be short-term relief, any relief is better than none at all.

It will take time to get over the heartbreak. You'll feel like there's no one else quite like him, and you'll worry you'll never fall so deeply in love again. Life is one big rollercoaster and sometimes the dips truly are the worst part.