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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ayyyitsmaddie15 Offline
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he broke up with me - September 2nd 2020, 01:23 PM

he broke up with me bc he had things going on and he doesnt wanna be with anyone rn and he said i wouldnt understand. im so torn first he breaks uo with me and now my parents are getting a divorce ugh. i cant hold it in anymore
idk what to do anymore
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: he broke up with me - September 2nd 2020, 07:19 PM

Hello Maddie,

I am truly sorry that this has happened to you and I hope that you will be okay soon. You did not do anything wrong and please do not feel like this is your fault. When we are dating someone and then this happens it can be hard to find something to get our minds off of this for a while. Sometimes doing something can help us so that we are not thinking about it so much. Can you try finding something to do for a while to help you out, going for a walk around your house or reading or drawing or painting or calling a friend or putting on a funny movie or TV show or something else that you enjoy doing. I know that when we are having a hard time with something that it can take a few things to help us get our minds off of this, so if it takes a few things to help you out try not to get upset.

I have this article on when someone breaks up with us and when you have time try looking at this. It is, https://www-insider-com.cdn.ampproje...20%25251%2524s

No matter what you are feeling, it will get better. It can take some time, please do not be so hard on yourself. I am so sorry about your parents, are you able to try talking with them and let them know how this is making you feel upset? Or can you try writing them a letter and put everything in it that you are having trouble with and ask if you can sit down and talk about this together. I hope that you will be okay soon. Sending you hugs to help you out with this.


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Re: he broke up with me - September 3rd 2020, 01:52 PM

Hello Maddie

Thank you for reaching out to us and I am truly sorry that you have been feeling this way.

Breaking up is truly a heart-wrecking process, and inevitably one will feel devastaed and torn after the other person leave an intimate relationship. When I broke up with my bf with whom I had 4-year relationship one year ago, it actually felt like getting a divorce and I still haven't fully recovered yet. My suggestions is that right now, you can do whatever that comes natual to you to youself feel better. You can give yourself some time to let out your emotions, think about the good & bad memory you had with him, savor the sorrow, analyze what could have been done to improve, express your gratitue for his past kindness and conpanionship, then move on. Another useful tip would be treating youself with delicious food, like chocolate, or do (legal) things that you have always wanted to do but for some reason you couldn't, it will make you feel better.

After traumatic events, People natrually go through 5 stages of grief and loss: denial & isolation, anger, bargain, depression, acceptance. It is okay and normal to be sad, but you shouldn't stay in sadness for too long. Life is so beautiful and full of unknown to be explored, maybe it is a good time for you to explore around to tryout on new things and fields and meet new people.

* here is a link to the 5 stages if you are interested: https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-s...gaining%3B%204.

* here is another link on how cope after a break up
https://www.healthline.com/health/coping-with-break-up

I am also very sorry that your parents are getting a divorce at this point of time, but the thing to keep in mind is: their getting divorced and your breakup are two indepent, seperate events. Don't, even though it's tempting,
stack the emotions you have toward these events on top of each other. Let them decide what is good for them, and wish them luck. It is defintely not your fault for these events to occur.

I wanna assure you that everything will eventually be okay and you will heal up as time passes.
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Re: he broke up with me - September 7th 2020, 04:09 AM

Hello there,

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through right now. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Do everything in your power to look after yourself and your wellbeing. Take the time out to engage in things that will make you feel better such as watching your favourite movie or listening to music. It is natural to feel sad especially with what you are going through right now and my inbox is always open if you ever wish to talk about it.


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Re: he broke up with me - September 9th 2020, 07:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ayyyitsmaddie15 View Post
he broke up with me bc he had things going on and he doesnt wanna be with anyone rn and he said i wouldnt understand. im so torn first he breaks uo with me and now my parents are getting a divorce ugh. i cant hold it in anymore
idk what to do anymore
Hey, he's such a *******! Don't be sad because there are maaaany boys and you will find better one than your ex.
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Re: he broke up with me - September 11th 2020, 01:10 PM

Hi Maddie,

I'm so so sorry that all of these difficult things are happening to you all at once. It's scary how life can strike us like a sledgehammer sometimes, but hey, that's what life is.

You are pretty young, and assuming that your ex-boyfriend is around the same age as you, please be rest assured that teenage boys are pretty erratic. Indeed, most boys only understand what it means to be in a committed relationship once they are around 23-24 years old. It's not your fault that your boyfriend wanted to break up with you; he seems to want to sort out some issues of his own. Break-ups suck with a capital S, but trust me, you're not alone. Thousands of people all over the world are going through horrible heart-breaks. It is something we all have experienced or will experience, and we understand how you're feeling. You will no doubt feel very hurt, confused, upset and angry, so take your time to acknowledge and process these emotions. It's natural to feel this way, but trust me, time DOES heal all wounds. I've learned it the hard way; I manage to move on from someone I had deeply loved for years. You will make it through this heart-break.

So, take this as an opportunity for self-growth. You're just 15, you have ample things to get up to. Do those things you love to do - be it dancing, arts, sports, reading. Do well in school, make good friends and enjoy your teenage life. Singlehood is indeed bliss. One thing I will warn you though is, don't rush into another relationship to fill the void of this past one immediately. It will not give you enough time to reconcile your broken feelings from your previous relationship and leave you more upset. Rather, take your time to get over this break-up and you can subsequently think of dating you want to (not because you have to).

I'm also very sorry to know that your parents are getting a divorce. It must be such an overwhelming time, and at times like this, you need someone for support. Is there any reliable adult you can share your emotions with? Perhaps a teacher at school, or a guidance counsellor? Perhaps you have an aunt or neighbour you can confide in? Find that person and speak to them. Releasing your pent up emotions will make you feel a lot better. Remember to stay strong; it's always darkest before dawn, and soon better days will come. Think of your position in one year's time - you might be in a much better place emotionally. After all, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Amidst this very difficult period, perhaps you might want to look for a silver lining? Find something that motivates you so that it keeps your mind optimistic about everything that's happening. You will weather this storm

If there's anything you'd like to chat about, I'm all ears. Feel free to drop me a PM

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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
ayyyitsmaddie15 Offline
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Re: he broke up with me - September 17th 2020, 02:32 PM

thank you so much
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Re: he broke up with me - October 6th 2020, 01:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ayyyitsmaddie15 View Post
he broke up with me bc he had things going on and he doesnt wanna be with anyone rn and he said i wouldnt understand. im so torn first he breaks uo with me and now my parents are getting a divorce ugh. i cant hold it in anymore
idk what to do anymore
Try to meditate yourself. You might be depressed on your situation,but it doesn't mean that you on fault. Remember! God is on our side, Try to motivate yourself to a positive ways and find a man that who really deserves your love and will love you back until the end.

And for your Parents conflict. I can't tell what to do and i hope won't ruin your
entire life. ( Be positive and everything is fine ).

That's my advice for you.
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