Does he not like me anymore?

[DisneyGirl]

Hey guys. This is really embarrassing. I’ve been with this guy a couple of years now and have just recently decided to take our relationship to the next level. The problem is is that he loses his erection Mid acts with me constantly when at first he never would. He just keeps telling me he doesn’t know why it’s happening. It’s the worst feeling in the world. It has happened 4 times in a row now within a couple of months. It happens again and I couldn’t hide my hurt and I just cried. He can masturbate just fine and get hard just fine with me. He just can’t keep it. It has to be something with me

I don't think the problem is you. Sometimes these things just happen. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you or you're not desirable; biology is just weird. Do you think it's possible he's having performance anxiety? Are there other stresses in his life, school, work, etc.? My guess would be there's some other stress that's making it difficult for him to stay erect during intercourse. I could be wrong but I think that's a place to start.

[Rivière]

I just want to point out that if he is the one losing his erection, how could it possibly be anything to do with you? It's quite clear that there is something going on on his end that he either is unaware of, or doesn't want to talk to you about.

Have you noticed any changes in his behaviour in these two months as opposed to before them? Has he been distant? Or maybe he took on a new job role and he's very stressed? There's a lot of things that could be going on and unfortunately, you need to be patient in order to find out what's going on.

Do not ever, ever blame yourself! His loss of erections are not your fault!

[DisneyGirl]

Thank you both for your replies!
It’s strange because he has no problem getting an erection with me at all. The other day I brought up the last time we did something and he got hard just from me talking about it. He hasn’t seemed distant, he still asks me for nudes regularly and everything. One thing I did notice is that he’s so terrified of getting me pregnant. Lady time we were doing something he suddenly just pulled out and put his clothes back on and ran out of the bedroom freaking out. He came back in told me he felt like he was having a panic attack and that he didn’t know where to put the condom because he didn’t want my parents to see it. It’s just hard for me not to think I’m not attractive to him anymore. He promises me he has absolutely no idea why he keeps losing one. And I want to believe him but I can’t. There has to be some explanation as to what’s going on. Or maybe he’s into someone else?? I don’t know I’m assuming the worst and eve thinking about it brings me to tears and the only explanation I get from him is “I don’t know what’s going.” .

So I'm gonna tell you a story.

A couple of years ago I was with a wonderful person. For a long time we had a great sex life. But then they started losing erections and were sometimes unable to get hard. I didn't understand what was wrong. I know they wanted me because they said they did, and because for a long time we did have good sex. I was like you. There must be some reason, I though. I asked them what it was but they didn't know. That's what they said over and over: they didn't know.

I couldn't accept that. How can anyone not know the cause of something like that? It took me time but I realized I was committing the Usual Error: not everyone is like me. Some people are not as introspective. Some people don't know their bodies as well. Not everyone knows what's going on at all times.

So I stopped asking this person why because I knew it was stressing them out, and I just let things chill. We didn't have sex for a while because I know they were feeling so much anxiety over pleasing me and not disappointing me that it only made the situation worse.

And things got better.

If I were you I'd stop trying to get your boyfriend to figure out what's going on. It's probably stressing him out more because he knows you're unhappy. Give him time. He's young and healthy so things will probably go back to normal soon enough.

[Bru00]

Originally Posted by DisneyGirl

Hey guys. This is really embarrassing. I’ve been with this guy a couple of years now and have just recently decided to take our relationship to the next level. The problem is is that he loses his erection Mid acts with me constantly when at first he never would. He just keeps telling me he doesn’t know why it’s happening. It’s the worst feeling in the world. It has happened 4 times in a row now within a couple of months. It happens again and I couldn’t hide my hurt and I just cried. He can masturbate just fine and get hard just fine with me. He just can’t keep it. It has to be something with me

Hi, I think that he feel stressed and that's the reason why he has a problem with erection. Your reaction (crying) on this situation is also not okay because he feels guilty. Don't think that is your fault. Sometimes it happens and that's normal. He's not a robot He wants have erection so much and it doesn't work Try to help and support him. Show him that it is okay, that you accept him, this situation and you still love him. You can try to help him (by hand or oral) and if still doesn't work you can told that you can try again later but at this moment you want to kissing all his body or do him massage. Help him relax and maybe after that everything will fine. He probably isn't ill if he can masturbate. Sorry for my Englsh