How to open up to boyfriend

[gloves123]

Ive always had troubling opening up about my mental illness. Even more trouble opening up to people when things are really bad and I'm having a bad night.
My boyfriend gets upset when he finds out about a bad episode or panic attack I didn't reach out to him about, and reminds me I can always text him no matter what he's doing and he'll do what he can to help me, but no matter what I find it difficult to send the "help me" text. No matter what he says I feel like I'm bothering him, and that I shouldn't add more stress on him because he's already dealing with "insert situation". Point is I always talk myself out of telling him.
Does anyone else get this too? And of so what do you do to help get over not wanting to burden them?

[Celyn]

I think many people, regardless of whether or not they are in a relationship, struggle to open up about mental health, especially when they are struggling or during a crisis. I know I've felt this way too and I imagine many people here on TeenHelp have as well.

That said, it's always good to reach out for help when you feel you need it. You're not a burden for dealing with mental illness or even having a difficult time in life. We all need people to turn to and we all struggle with things throughout life.

There's nothing wrong with sending your boyfriend a quick message when you are finding things difficult to deal with or even just asking if he is available to talk. If there are particular times or dates that you worry you'll struggle with, you could ask in advance to chat with your boyfriend then, providing he is free. To help with the fear of being a burden, it can help to think of other people or hotlines that you can call when things are getting tough so that you don't feel like you are exclusively relying on your boyfriend for support.

It might also help to talk with your boyfriend about how you worry about bothering him and see if you can come up with ideas on how to deal with this. Even though it's lovely to hear that your boyfriend would drop everything to help you, sometimes this isn't realistic. It can help for you both to be honest. For example, what level of support is your boyfriend happy to provide, what support could he realistically help with e.g. helping to calm you down with a panic attack vs helping you deal with say, urges to hurt yourself. What times can he realistically provide support to you, and when would you need to access other support such as from family, friends, hotlines or mental health professionals and what you can do to help yourself. It's also a good idea to make sure that he knows that if at any time he struggles to support you, that he should tell you so you can find other ways of accessing support.

Relationships take work and lots of honest, communication, more so when it comes to mental health. But both of you should feel able to give and recieve support from each other, as well as get support from outside of the relationship.

Hope this helps a bit