TeenHelp - Telling my boyfriend I'm agender

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Telling my boyfriend I'm agender

A couple of months ago, I came out to my friends and my boyfriend as agender and mostly they took it well. My boyfriend freaked out at the news and after a long conversation, asked me if I wouldn't bring up the gender stuff. One of our mutual friends is agender as well and he calls them by their preferred name instead of their birth name around our friends since we're the only ones they're out to, but still elects to call me by my birth name. I want to ask him about it but he freaked out last time and said he's bisexual and doesn't know how to feel.

Re: Telling my boyfriend I'm agender

I'm wondering if your boyfriend mentioned about why he freaked out and doesn't want you to talk about your gender? It may be that he feels conflicted about being bisexual and in a relationship with someone who is agender, if he feels that bisexual for him is being attracted to both male and female, but not other gender identities. If this is the case, then when you ask about using your preferred name, you can always mention that you being agender doesn't mean that he isn't or can't be bisexual anymore. Not only that, but you are still the same person and just want to be acknowledged by your preferred name/pronoun.

While your boyfriend may be a bit apprehensive as to what it means for him and the relationship with you coming out as a agender, it's still important for the lines of communication to be open as your feelings matter too.