finding a girlfriend

So this is going to sound really stupid, but how do I go about finding a girl friend. I do not have a gaydar. I don't really get out much. To top it all of I am also demisexual so for me to fall for a girl and be sexually attracted an willing to have sex with them I have to have a deep connection with them. For me that usually means friending a person getting to know them and then slowly falling for them as we connect deep and deep. So I am just wondering what are some ways I can go about finding someone who is willing to wait and get to really know me?

Hey,

I am a lot like you in that I can't really consider any type of intimate relationship unless I have a strong emotional connection with someone. I admit that this did lead to some difficulties in regards to 'dating' and find a partner because there were a lot of people who wanted to kiss, hold hands and touch. I was firm in that I didn't want to do much of that and was uncomfortable with it. Some people tried to be respectful and some were not. I think the biggest thing is, you have to be open with anyone you start talking to and explain that you are demisexual and let them know what that means for you and what it means in regards to how a potential relationship will progress. It's possible that some people won't be understanding and that will suck but there will be some people who will be open to it and will want to get to know you before entering into any type of sexual relationship.

It can be difficult to figure out a way to meet people. I am not overly social and even when I am in social situations I tend to be really distant with people as a way to 'protect' myself. Building relationships of any kind isn't something I tend to do. As such, I struggled with interacting and meeting people who would be patient with me and take time to get to know me. One thing that worked for me was online dating. I was able to talk to people for a while and than I could determine if I wanted to meet up with them. There were some people that wanted to meet up quickly and I was firm in the way I dealt with that.

If online dating isn't something you'd be interested in it might be worth trying to find some LGBTQ+ community centers or groups in your area. I know my city has a few of these and a lot of people tend to meet there and that opens them up to other opportunities within the LGBTQ+ community. I know that there are all types of hangouts that occur within the LGBTQ+.

I am unsure if you have any friend's close by but if you do, it might be worth asking them to go to some of the meetups that you find. This might help you adjust to a new group of people since you might have someone familiar.

Best regards.