Male Advice Preferred: my boyfriend is moving away...

[broken.girl081]

Me and my crush started dating at 2:23 today. We have both had a crush on eachother but noone had the guts to tell eachother everyone knew we liked eachother except for us... but he is moving to brazil and were going to have a long distance relationship.He will be back in 3 years when were both seniors in highschool. He asked me to wait for his return and he is leavin this weekend tell me what to do...please...

Hey!

I'm sorry your boyfriend is moving away so soon, you say you just got together today? Were you aware he was moving before you got together or did he tell you after?

I don't want to say this, but I have to be real with you. You need to break it off with him. Long distance relationships are hard, and they require trust, love, a deep connection and understanding. Im assuming you weren't very close as friends and you obviously aren't as a couple. It just isn't practical for him to ask you to wait for three years for him when you've only been dating for a couple of hours.

I'm sorry, I know it's hard for you, but the more you go ahead with this relationship, the more painful and harder it will be for the both of you. I know you'll probably want to at least be together until he leaves, but please don't do that, it's just going to hurt you more when he does leave.

I'm sorry this is happening. I'm always here for you if you need someone to talk to. Feel free to VM or PM me if you have any questions. Also, remember that you'll find someone else. There are other great guys out there too. I know it'll hurt at first but you'll pull through this. I believe in you.

Stay strong.
Love. - xx

Unfortunately, we can't tell you what to do. I suggest to help you make your decision you look at the facts:

1) You started dating yesterday. Yes, you had a crush on each other for a long time, but the fact of the matter is you didn't actually enter a relationship until incredibly recently. That doesn't give you much time to bond as a couple before

2) He leaves in a couple of days. For three years. Three years is a long time, especially in high school, when you are both going to grow and change so much over the next few years. People are rarely the same person they were at the beginning of high school once they have completed it.

If you think you're up for this commitment, go ahead and make it with him. We don't know you and we don't know the resolve of and strength of your feelings. I will warn you, though, that long distance relationships are incredibly difficult. Sometimes it's easier when you've known each other in person rather than starting an online dating relationship, but it's never easy. You will each see each other's lives move in different directions and you'll wish you could be a physical part of it. Unfortunately the reality of it is you have to make do with what you can- phone calls, letters, text messages, social media, and video chats. Sometimes it DOES work that way- I know there are people on this site who were long distance with their partners for many years; you might want to hear from one of them for more experienced counsel. Just be aware it can be hard.

Whatever you decide, the decision has to be yours. Only you know your feelings and only you know your willingness to try a long distance relationship. My hope is that, whatever you two decide, you can still manage to be close to one another and hold a special place in one another's hearts. There's no reason why that can't happen.

Good luck and PM me if you need anything else. I'm here for you.

[broken.girl081]

after. i just really dont want to end it though

I understand, believe me. Breakups are already really hard, and even more so when you JUST got together but something as arbitrary as distance is keeping you apart. If you're uncertain you can always try it, and, if it's not working out, you two can talk about what to do at that time. You can make this decision together.

Just remember, even if you break up, you can always stay friends. It sounds like you have a solid friendship built up and there's no reason that has to end.

[del677]

Have a really, really good time with him now!

Then, have a good time without him.

Then, when he returns, have a good time.

Enjoy life always. Whatever is meant to be will be. Allow it to be what it is.

Best wishes!

[shakespeare]

Originally Posted by broken.girl081

Me and my crush started dating at 2:23 today. We have both had a crush on eachother but noone had the guts to tell eachother everyone knew we liked eachother except for us... but he is moving to brazil and were going to have a long distance relationship.He will be back in 3 years when were both seniors in highschool. He asked me to wait for his return and he is leavin this weekend tell me what to do...please...

I think you should consider dating someone else if you don't intend on keeping a long distance relationship, but if you really love this dude stick with him however don't ruin your life waiting on a fellow who isn't coming back. I've been in this situation about twice and two things kept me going: "Don't Think Twice, It's Allright" by Bob Dylan, and "She Dwelt Among Her Untrodden Ways" by William Wordsworth. While I'm at it you seem like a great girl and if he's a decent guy, he feels just as bad as you do. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on hit my up at Randomusername1142@Gmail.com

[Skyline]

del677's post is pretty wise... try and enjoy what you have now as much as possible. Then, just before he leaves, I suggest that you both have a sincere talk about what you mean to each other and how much effort you'd be prepared to put into a long-distance relationship. Let go of your ego and try to be as honest as possible, even if it means being vulnerable. If it turns out that you're both 110% up for the challenge of making a long-distance relationship work, if you both believe in it, then go for it. Otherwise, let it go as gracefully as possible.
I'm in a similar situation to you, because in just over a month me and my boyfriend will be starting our undergraduate studies, and the course he is taking is super intense and doesn't leave much room for a social life since he'll have to be studying almost constantly, so we may well have to end things. I've decided to live in the present as much as possible and to deal with that problem when the time comes. I know one of the things which scares me the most about this -- and which I imagine may be causing you some trouble too -- is the fear that I won't find someone quite like him, who gets along so well with me. There's this fear that if I let go of what I have now, I'll never find anything as good or better. When I think of that I just remind myself that there are tons of people out there, some who are more compatible with me in some ways than he is, and who are less compatible in others.
Just know that everything will work out fine.

[broken.girl081]

Originally Posted by Samtheguitarman

I think you should consider dating someone else if you don't intend on keeping a long distance relationship, but if you really love this dude stick with him however don't ruin your life waiting on a fellow who isn't coming back. I've been in this situation about twice and two things kept me going: "Don't Think Twice, It's Allright" by Bob Dylan, and "She Dwelt Among Her Untrodden Ways" by William Wordsworth. While I'm at it you seem like a great girl and if he's a decent guy, he feels just as bad as you do. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on hit my up at Randomusername1142@Gmail.com

thank you soo very much

[broken.girl081]

Originally Posted by Skyline

del677's post is pretty wise... try and enjoy what you have now as much as possible. Then, just before he leaves, I suggest that you both have a sincere talk about what you mean to each other and how much effort you'd be prepared to put into a long-distance relationship. Let go of your ego and try to be as honest as possible, even if it means being vulnerable. If it turns out that you're both 110% up for the challenge of making a long-distance relationship work, if you both believe in it, then go for it. Otherwise, let it go as gracefully as possible.
I'm in a similar situation to you, because in just over a month me and my boyfriend will be starting our undergraduate studies, and the course he is taking is super intense and doesn't leave much room for a social life since he'll have to be studying almost constantly, so we may well have to end things. I've decided to live in the present as much as possible and to deal with that problem when the time comes. I know one of the things which scares me the most about this -- and which I imagine may be causing you some trouble too -- is the fear that I won't find someone quite like him, who gets along so well with me. There's this fear that if I let go of what I have now, I'll never find anything as good or better. When I think of that I just remind myself that there are tons of people out there, some who are more compatible with me in some ways than he is, and who are less compatible in others.
Just know that everything will work out fine.

this is great advice. thank you.