I still like him, but he's dating her

[Bianca_Mae]

Okay, so around a year ago, I started to crush on my friend Caleb. He had helped me through a rough few months and was one of the only people I could really talk to without being questioned or judged. In August, he found out about my crush, and later revealed he liked me too.

We went out on a date at a street fair and hung out with his friends. I had a blast and we became official that night. Although we decided to keep the relationship a secret, so my friends did't know, nor did our parents. The next day I hing out with him at his friends house for a movie night, and we cuddled on the couch. He was very respectable, saying if he made me uncomfortable, to tell him right away. A week later was another movie night, and something seemed off. He broke up with me a week later.

I never got over him. He was always there, and accepted all the bad things about me. A few moths ago, he started dating my friend Hannah. They're happy together, and she swallowed her feelings when I dated him and now I'm forced to do the same. My friends make fun of me by saying I dated an Ass hole, mainly because he broke up with me over text, and it made me wonder if he ever really liked me, or if it was out of pity. Now me and him barely talk, and I want my friend back.

Any suggestions??

-Bianca

Hey there, Bianca!

I'm sorry to hear that this happened.

It sounds like Caleb cares a lot about you. He stuck around and helped you for quite a few months, and not many people will stick around that long if they genuinely don't care. Even more so, he sounds like a gentleman by letting you know that you could tell him right away if he made you uncomfortable. It seems like he cared a lot about you and that has me puzzled as to why he broke up with you.

Maybe he had a difficult time establishing whether or not he liked you romantically or just as a friend? Sometimes we mistake friendship for romantic love. But it's hurtful to learn he broke up with you through a text because he at least owed you a talk/explanation in person. Have you thought about asking him why he broke up with you? You deserve an explanation especially since it impacted you a lot. Finding out exactly why he broke up with you could provide you with closure and help you move on.

As for your friends, can you talk to them and let them know it's upsetting when they make fun of you? Make it clear that the situation is already hurtful enough, and you'd appreciate if they would refrain from making fun of you. I am wondering if you have any support from your friends, or elsewhere in your life; people you can talk to about this? This break up is really hard on you it seems, and you shouldn't have to go through it alone.

In the meantime, focus on yourself. Try out new hobbies, start a daily exercise routine, branch out at school and talk to new people etc. Explore different activities and try new things, and most importantly - take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Pamper yourself if possible! Binge-watch a TV series with your favorite snack, have a bubble bath and so on.

You're welcome to message me if you need anything, Bianca. Stay strong and hang in there. You've got this, girl!

[shirleyperninger]

This is actually the best time to give up.

Would you fight for a person that isn't willing to do the same?

[GunEks]

Seems like this guy wants his cake and eat it, too.