I don't think my boyfriend finds me attractive

[Elle_94]

Hi guys,

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years now. I'm 19 and he's 21. We don't have sex very often and never really have. I think that's mainly due to the fact that we live quite far from each other so rarely see each other and we both still live with our parents so it's difficult for us to find opportunities. But I do think that my low sex drive contributes as well.

My boyfriend gets erect around me quite frequently, but when we have sex, he'll get hard whilst touching me and warming me up, and then right before we're about to actually do it (usually the point at which he'll see my body completely unclothed) he loses his erection. He also never wants me to give him oral or stimulate him with my hands despite me trying and offering. I feel like he doesn't find me attractive and that I just don't turn him on.

I dont have a great body. My legs are quite thick and my breasts have begun to sag already despite the fact I'm very young - the result of having very large breasts for my frame as well as wearing cheap bras that fitted poorly for years. I also have a little bit of a stomach. But I'm not huge. I think I could look worse but my boyfriend just seems totally repulsed and turned off my me.

I also had the same issue with my ex. He could never get fully hard or ejaculate with me and now the same thing is happening with my current partner. I thought my ex may have had some issues, physically or emotionally, but this is the second person it's happened with - I feel like I must be the issue

What should I do? Should I break up with him?

Thank you in advance

[xxpaigiexx]

Hey there,

I think you need to speak to your boyfriend and find out what the issue is. Communication is really important in any relationship, especially a long distance one. It's important for both parties to know if there are any issues or things that the two of you need to work on. It could be that your boyfriend is having trouble keeping an erection because he's nervous. There could be all sorts of reasons, you have to speak to him to find out what the problem is. I'm sure it's nothing to do with you personally. You need to try to get to the route of the problem, talking is the most important thing.

I wish you the best of luck!
Paige

[del677]

Maybe he masturbates too much and needs to cut back on that when he's expecting to be with you in a few days.

It's probably more psychological on his part. I understand how the first thought could be, "It must be something about me he doesn't like," but that's just an egocentric viewpoint. (Which is common. We all think, "It's all about me!" But we are happier when we're not thinking that.)

[Jess~]

I think the other replies have covered most of what I would say to you anyway, so I just want to add that a guy losing his erection isn't always because he's not attracted to what he's seeing. I know it makes sense... erection = turned on, so wouldn't a loss of one = not turned on?
However, I've read quite a few articles about this issue that beg to differ. There are SO many reasons for a guy losing his erection. I highly recommend you do some research and see if any of these other reasons might apply to your situation.

Also, try not to be so hard on yourself. He's dating you, so he has to like something about you. Talk to him. No matter how the conversation with your boyfriend about this, if you choose to do so, goes, the only person's opinion of you that should matter is YOUR opinion of you. So if you don't like yourself, work on yourself. People always say embrace yourself and learn to love yourself, but as a workout junkie I just have to say no. If you don't like something about your body, you CAN usually change it. So work towards that goal, whilst simultaneously working on accepting yourself more, and don't give up. (By the way, thick legs aren't a bad thing. Not that it matters as much as your self-love matters, but a lot of guys love a thicker, curvier lower body. Embrace the good things about yourself and work on the things you perceive as bad.)

[Rahul@123]

To have attention in girls boys generally want his GF to be sexy as one watch in porn movies so you can send him your sexy and attractive photos frequently so that he frequently get feeling for you and your problem can be resolved .

[bunnyhabit]

l believe this is a medical or emotional condition of your boyfriends. you should demand he see a doctor to determine the root cause of this very unique problem. i don't think it has anything to do with your physical appearance. i asked my friends and they have never encountered this problem with their boyfriends. i have sex with my boyfriend twice a day at least and he doesn't go soft until long after ejactulating in me. if he refuses you should dump him and move on to someone that lives close to you.