My best friend is dating my bully

[madamwaffle]

Ok, so there's bit more to this situation than this paragraph will probably be able to explain, because everything's so complex, but I'll try to put this simply.
My friend started liking and dating this person she met online, who I think is absolutely not good for her. Now, me and my friend have known eachother for seven years now and we're practically sisters, we know almost everything about eachother. But the person she is dating either treats people as gods, which is only my friend herself right now, or he treats them as "toys" or even trash. He used to treat me as a toy, and tried to manipulate me into liking him, but I managed to see through it and left. Immediately afterwards, he began to harass me and insult me until I was crying. Which proved, his kindness to me was only an act. I tried repeatedly to tell my friend that her boyfriend wasn't a good person, I tried repeatedly to tell her that he was bullying me, and she said that she told him to stop, but he didn't. And when I told her that he didn't stop, she acted as if it wasn't a big deal! She just continues to love him more and more, saying that he's the only one who gets her, and I'm trying to tell her how he's treating me.
I've noticed that ever since she started dating him, she's started cursing more, and looking more and more only at herself. Her boyfriend has even convinced her to introduce him to some of our other friends at school, and now he's telling those friends from school that I've been saying things behind their backs, he's trying to get them to hate me.
It's gotten to the point where I'm about to cut with my best friend!
But I don't want to at the same time, I keep hoping that there's a chance that the old her will come back, the one who understood me so well, and the one who I understood so well...

[.Brittany.]

Hi there,

I'm sorry you're having to go through this! It is definitely a difficult situation. I went and am currently going through the same sort of situation. Back when I was in high school I had these two friends. One turned into a mean person and started bullying me. They stayed together and the only person I talked to was the girl (who wasn't bullying me). Unfortunately, you can't really tell a person who they can and cannot date. What I did was I hung out with my friend when her boyfriend was around, but then when he came to see her I would leave immediately. They graduated a year later so I had a year free of them. Eventually we drifted apart and didn't talk anymore until I saw her in public.

The point of my story is that you should be happy for your friend. I know how hard it is for them to be dating your bully but, you can't control who your friend starts to like or dates. All you can do is watch out for yourself. If your friend is near him then keep your distance. If he doesn't stop the bullying I recommend telling a trusted adult.

When it comes to the cutting, I would feel like a hypocrite if I told you not to cut because of bullying. It was always my go to through elementary school, high school, and collage bullying. What I can say is that it doesn't help. Cutting because of the bullying doesn't solve anything that's going on. It won't stop the bullying or make your friend stop dating him. What it will really do is make you feel worse about your current situation. Take your anger/frustrations out in writing. Start a blog here on TeenHelp, or start writing in a journal. Listen to music or go for a walk when you feel like cutting. Try as hard as you can to not self harm because of the bullying.

Stay strong. We are always here for you.

Take care,
Brittany