i caught my boyfriend having nudes of his exs

[merphil]

A couple of days ago i went to my boyfriends and he left his phone out for me to watch netflix while he slept cause he got off late from work, when i got there i grabbed the phone and remembered he had pictures of me in some secret album so i looked for it but he had a passcode, when he woke up i asked if i could see the pictures he had of me there, he freaked out and started crying telling me not to leave him, we had talked before about if we had nudes of our ex's and he said he didn't, which was a lie.

honesty is a big thing for me in a relationship so he started freaking out because he knows i don't tolerate lies, not even bc of the pictures ( which the pictures gross me out too )

well he opened the app and he had nudes of his ex and mine all in seperate foders, that made me feel like just another folder of nudes to him, i've been trying to get over it for the last couple of days but can't seem to shake the thought of him maybe looking at the pictures for masturbation purposes, even tho he says since we dated he has never looked at them, he's only gone to the app to put pictures of myself, what do i do? how do i let this go? is it normal for guys to keep nudes of their ex's?

[Anonn]

noooooooo it is not okay for your boyfriend to keep pictures of his ex! either he shapes up or its over !! that is unacceptable girl. if you love him then tell him to change but if he doesn't he never will which is not fair to you.

[Always *]

I sorry he lied and, I mean, in his defence at least he immediately told you the truth.

I don't know what is normal or not normal in other relationships, but it sounds like your boyfriend is likely telling the truth because someone who's actually got something to hide (eg nudes of other women) would probably be more guarded with their phone whereas it sounds like he was ok with you using his phone. But, of course, that said, he knew perfectly well the pics were under a password that app.

Like I said, at least he fessed up. Maybe he lied at first because the relationship was new at didn't want to ruin it by being like well... and then maybe later he just forgot? Who knows... I don't want to condone the leis though, I had an ex who lied lots and I've developed a pretty big intolerance to.

You're definitely in your right to say that your not comfortable with these pics and make him show you that he's deleted them. Tell him you can find a way to forgive his lie but you can't live with the possibility of those pictures still existing. Talk about your expectations with your pics too. This is something that bothers you can if he refuses to delete the pictures, well... we'll talk then lol

Originally Posted by Always *

I sorry he lied and, I mean, in his defence at least he immediately told you the truth.

I don't know what is normal or not normal in other relationships, but it sounds like your boyfriend is likely telling the truth because someone who's actually got something to hide (eg nudes of other women) would probably be more guarded with their phone whereas it sounds like he was ok with you using his phone. But, of course, that said, he knew perfectly well the pics were under a password that app.

Like I said, at least he fessed up. Maybe he lied at first because the relationship was new at didn't want to ruin it by being like well... and then maybe later he just forgot? Who knows... I don't want to condone the leis though, I had an ex who lied lots and I've developed a pretty big intolerance to.

You're definitely in your right to say that your not comfortable with these pics and make him show you that he's deleted them. Tell him you can find a way to forgive his lie but you can't live with the possibility of those pictures still existing. Talk about your expectations with your pics too. This is something that bothers you can if he refuses to delete the pictures, well... we'll talk then lol

I agree with a lot of this.

What he did was wrong but he fessed up and told you he was lying.

I think you should sit down with him and let him know how much this has hurt you and discuss what the two of you can do to move forward from something like this.

[jade92]

I second Always. Sit together and talk out your mind. There are many people out there who are lying to their girlfriends, at least he told you the truth.