TeenHelp - Ex is dating someone I have always disliked

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Ex is dating someone I have always disliked

I found out today that my ex girlfriend( who Im still not over) has been in a relationship with someone I have never liked for about a month now. Any ideas on how to cope with this?

Re: Ex is dating someone I have always disliked

Hey there,

I'm sorry your ex is dating someone you don't like.

I think the most important thing you can do right now is try not to focus on your ex. Try to spend time with your friends and have fun. Keep yourself busy. If you have a hobby, go out and spend some time doing that. If you have friends you don't manage to see often try to make some time and be with them. Spend time doing things with your family you wouldn't usually do. Try to organise family evenings, you could watch a film or go to a place you wouldn't normally go to eat. Listen to loud music if you're having a bad day. Try to distract yourself from the things your ex is doing. She may not even be doing this to get back at you or frustrate you. She may genuinely have feelings for this person, and whilst I realise it is horrible for you to see, it's not something you have any control over, and not something you can do anything to stop. You are just going to have to do your best to ignore them as difficult as it may be. Try not to let them upset you too much. Chances are, the relationship will probably not last, but you have to prepare yourself for the fact that it may well end up lasting between them.

I wish you the best of luck,
Paige

Re: Ex is dating someone I have always disliked

I'm sorry your ex is dating someone you don't like. I hated the girl my ex started dating too, she was totally crazy and really bitchy and the kind of person who'd jump and beat up someone she didn't like just because she didn't like them and smoked weed etc. I was mad; why would he date someone like me (smart, classy, nice) to someone who as rude, belligerent, had no class, and took part in illegal behaviours? I was insulted. It was made harder because I questioned what it said about me.

What helped me was finally accepting that I can't control anyone's choices but my own. My ex is my ex for a reason and, well, good riddance because clearly he's a lot worse than I thought if those are the sorts of people he's attracted too; it's not just about romance too, if that's who he's willing to date, then that's who he's willing to be friends with and, sure, he might surround himself by some good people such as myself but it doesn't change the fact that I don't want to be around someone like that. I think that accepting that I don't need people like that in my life really helped.

I don't know if anecdotal experiences are what you'll consider helpful. But maybe that'll help you in framing your own rationale.