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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 11th 2016, 03:53 PM

I will delete this post after I got my answer

So me and my girlfriend have been sexually active for a small while. We never had unsafe sex, always used condoms. Maybe I am not thinking straight, but I might think my girlfriend is maybe pregnant.

The condom never broke as far as I remember. She was staying for little less than a week at my house and got sick for one and a half days (Nausea, fever, headache ect), although my girlfriend says it's only morning nausea that is an indicator of pregnancy.

I am panicking a little about this, I just want to know if there is a chance of her being pregnant or not. I am not ready to become a dad as I might or might not have finished school (Got my first college degree)


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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 11th 2016, 05:24 PM

At this point, you can't really be sure if she is pregnant or not. A big indicator that you should watch out for is if she misses her period or not. If she does, then you should start to worry a little. But for right now, all you can do is be optimistic and tell your girlfriend how you feel. Communication is key in any relationship.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 11th 2016, 06:24 PM

Hey Jordi,

You can't tell if she's pregnant just because of one day of sickness. How long ago were you two sexually active? You can encourage her to take a pregnancy test if it was two or more weeks ago.

In perfect use, condoms are INCREDIBLY effective. However, they have a high failure rate by people not using them correctly. Inn typical use, condoms are 80% effective. That means after one year of using condoms as a primary birth control method, 20% of users end up pregnant. This is high.

There are a few solutions for this if pregnancy is something that you two cannot handle at this time. One, make sure you're using your condoms very effectively. This means making sure you're using the correct size, putting it on and removing it correctly, using adequate amounts of lube that are condom compatible, and keeping it on the whole time. The second solution would be combining your condom use and encouraging your girlfriend to get on a more effective birth control method. She can explore some of these methods here. Last, you can choose to engage in activities without a pregnancy risk. Perhaps keeping to oral or manual sex instead of vaginal sex can be a solution so you two can avoid pregnancy until you are ready. While we were in high school, my partner and I only had sex a few time for this reason, and for most of our relationship we've combined methods or used a LARC (long acting reversible contraceptive) for this reason).

I'd recommend you have her take a test and have a conversation about your relationship and pregnancy to make sure you're making choices that fit your needs at this time. Good luck! (PS: You cannot delete a post on request, but I can close this thread for you once you receive the answers you need. )


something burning?
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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 11th 2016, 06:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coffee. View Post
Hey Jordi,

You can't tell if she's pregnant just because of one day of sickness. How long ago were you two sexually active? You can encourage her to take a pregnancy test if it was two or more weeks ago.

In perfect use, condoms are INCREDIBLY effective. However, they have a high failure rate by people not using them correctly. Inn typical use, condoms are 80% effective. That means after one year of using condoms as a primary birth control method, 20% of users end up pregnant. This is high.

There are a few solutions for this if pregnancy is something that you two cannot handle at this time. One, make sure you're using your condoms very effectively. This means making sure you're using the correct size, putting it on and removing it correctly, using adequate amounts of lube that are condom compatible, and keeping it on the whole time. The second solution would be combining your condom use and encouraging your girlfriend to get on a more effective birth control method. She can explore some of these methods here. Last, you can choose to engage in activities without a pregnancy risk. Perhaps keeping to oral or manual sex instead of vaginal sex can be a solution so you two can avoid pregnancy until you are ready. While we were in high school, my partner and I only had sex a few time for this reason, and for most of our relationship we've combined methods or used a LARC (long acting reversible contraceptive) for this reason).

I'd recommend you have her take a test and have a conversation about your relationship and pregnancy to make sure you're making choices that fit your needs at this time. Good luck! (PS: You cannot delete a post on request, but I can close this thread for you once you receive the answers you need. )
Might use this but some features aren't really compatible with my country, I am almost panicking since I was just turned down a job so I have no income, I will be studying further so I don't want a child interfering in this stage of my life. When I have a paying job (Which I doubt sometimes), I won't mind having a child, but just not fucking now.

You can close this thread, and you can reply to this as well before closing or via PM if you want to talk.


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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 11th 2016, 07:47 PM

I don't think (from a quick google search) that nausea and vomiting start so soon in pregnancy- 2-3 weeks is the earliest but around 6 seems to be the average, so have you been sexually active that long? It's also important to note there are so many other things that could be making her feel ill, and I wouldn't jump to pregnancy being the first cause of sickness if you're having protected sex. Headache and fever indicate a viral infection coupled with nausea.



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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 11th 2016, 08:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kindred View Post
I don't think (from a quick google search) that nausea and vomiting start so soon in pregnancy- 2-3 weeks is the earliest but around 6 seems to be the average, so have you been sexually active that long? It's also important to note there are so many other things that could be making her feel ill, and I wouldn't jump to pregnancy being the first cause of sickness if you're having protected sex. Headache and fever indicate a viral infection coupled with nausea.
That last thing is what my girlfriend thinks, but might be the case as well.


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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 11th 2016, 08:42 PM

As Kindred stated, things such as morning sickness don't usually start so soon into a pregnancy, typically around week 6 as far as I know. Typically, the first indicator that a woman has to suggest she might be pregnant is by missing a period. Assuming that her periods are roughly 28 days apart, with days 1 to 21 being period free and days 22 to 28 being days she's on her period. That being said, periods don't usually last for a full 7 days, but that just means that days 1-23 and 24-28 or something like that but I am sure you get my point. That being said, we can probably assume that, were she pregnant, she is less than 3-4 weeks along (and that only extends into a solid 4-ish weeks if we assume you guys had sex during her last period). As such, she hasn't even missed a period yet (that you know of), and like I just said, that's usually the first indication of being pregnant before other things such as morning sickness. If she had gotten pregnant prior to her last period, she would have missed that period.

My point is, in addition to things that have already been said, she hasn't even missed a period yet. Things like being nausous / sick could be so easily chalked up to the flu, a random stomach bug, food poisoning, etc. etc., all of which sound more likely at this point. Google searches LOOOOOOVE to scare you and predict the most extreme scenarios, like you have no idea how many times Google searches have led me to believe I might have cervical cancer, melanoma, be pregnant, have polycystic ovarian syndrome, be bipolar and a whole lot of other things when nothing is really going on besides things I already know about (like my relatively normal moles, a late period, depression + anxiety etc.). It's easy to get into a panic and that I really understand, but honestly your girlfriend will miss a period if anything is truly wrong and you can go from there.




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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 11th 2016, 11:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordioa18 View Post
Might use this but some features aren't really compatible with my country, I am almost panicking since I was just turned down a job so I have no income, I will be studying further so I don't want a child interfering in this stage of my life. When I have a paying job (Which I doubt sometimes), I won't mind having a child, but just not fucking now.

You can close this thread, and you can reply to this as well before closing or via PM if you want to talk.
What parts aren't compatible with your country?


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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 11th 2016, 11:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coffee. View Post


What parts aren't compatible with your country?
Zip codes and the like to search stuff with GPS


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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 11th 2016, 11:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordioa18 View Post
Zip codes and the like to search stuff with GPS
Ah, I believe you're meaning the Bedsider website's "find a health center" resource! Yes, this is an American website, so they do not have all of the health center resources on there for your country. However, the resource is great for exploring birth control methods, and you can Google "GPs in (your area)" who she can go talk to about getting a prescription.


something burning?
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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 13th 2016, 10:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordioa18 View Post
I will delete this post after I got my answer

So me and my girlfriend have been sexually active for a small while. We never had unsafe sex, always used condoms. Maybe I am not thinking straight, but I might think my girlfriend is maybe pregnant.

The condom never broke as far as I remember. She was staying for little less than a week at my house and got sick for one and a half days (Nausea, fever, headache ect), although my girlfriend says it's only morning nausea that is an indicator of pregnancy.

I am panicking a little about this, I just want to know if there is a chance of her being pregnant or not. I am not ready to become a dad as I might or might not have finished school (Got my first college degree)

I don't think she would be pregnant but you can never be too careful if she misses her period go and buy a test
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 14th 2016, 07:35 AM

Update: She didn't miss. I hit the false alarm pretty big here


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Re: Girlfriend got pregnant despite condoms? - July 14th 2016, 02:30 PM

Yay! I'd still recommend having a discussion with her about BC for the future, but I'm glad this isn't a problem! With that, I'll close this thread, feel free to open another if you have further questions!


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