I need help with my girlfriend. And my mental health

[Leoj7896]

Hello i need some help. *On monday my girlfriend of over a year said we needed a break. I lost it i was crying any i was a mess. *She said alot of things but i remmeber she said she is lost. *That she cant be in a relationship right now. Because of school, *that she failed her classes and now shes wanting to get back into nursing. She said she still loves me, *that she just needs some space. And she assured me multiple times that she doesnt want to find anybody else and there is. No other. Boy. Anyways, I almost killed myself. *I texted her my suicide note and i walked off to our nearest park ( this was my last straw and ive been battling with depression my entire life.) i thankfully i stopped and turned around, when i arived home the police was there and they took me away to the hostpital where i stayed for about 5 hours. I was being needy for about 2 days afterwards to her. As of texting her alot. then i realised i need to give her space and stop feeling sorry for myself ive made a plan. *Im. Not texting her as of today and im not going to for about 30 days or untill i get better. *Im going to be working out and getting my diploma and my drivers lisence and hopefully become a police officer. *I want to get into a better person i want to be a better person for her because i still love her dearly. My plan is when im calm and accepted that i may not be with her ever again is ill write her a letter saying im sorry and i want to put my past behind me. *If she texts me saying she gets the letter i wont reply untill im ready in a day or so. *Ill ask her out for coffee and talk like old friends. I was thinking of doing that for a coupple weeks and then brining her to the spot we first kissed, *dressing really nice, *with the tie she bought me and my nice suit. *and bring big ol *bouquet of flowers and dark choclate (her favorite) *and ask her if we can restart again, say i still have emense feelings for her and i want to make it work. And show her that ive changed and i will accept her no matter what. *Thnak you for reading this i just want to know what else i can do and any other advice you guys can give me, thank you

Joel

[LifeTheRonWay]

Hey Joel,

I'm sorry you've had a constant battle with depression. I am curious about why your girlfriend failed the classes to begin with. Was that what made her say she needed a break?
I too have had my heart broken before. It's rough, really rough, but you can't lose your head, especially if you're considering a career in Law Emforcement.

If she needs space then give her some space. Don't make a plan not to text her in 30 days. Instead tell her that you'll be here when she is ready. Let her do the reaching out for you, when she's ready, and then follow through with your plan of taking her out dressed nice to the place where you two kissed.

I think you should consider the things you want to ask her. Talk about moving forward together instead of a restart. Im sure its just as hard for her as it is for you.
Take time and focus on yourself, getting yourself back to where you want to be.

-Ron

[Leoj7896]

I feel like i failed her. Basicly she has told me thatbits because she needs to find out who she is, thatbshe failed all her classes in uni. Because they are really hard and now shes upgrading so that she can be nursing and she is scared that she will be kicked out because of her gpa, the first day i texted her it was alot of texts, i asked her if she foynd someo e else. And she hasnt and she said the break is not to find someone else. And continued on about how she needs to find out who she is. Next night i texted her, i was ballung my eyes ouy amd i was begging her to take me back (i realise my mistame now) but she replied to my saying the same thing, i looked it up on the web and the guy said that when she ment a break fron the relationship she doesnt mean leaving my lufe forever. Today i looked at her fb and theres no relationship status anymore but theres a picture of me on her profile picture with all her friends and me and her in eachothers arms. Anyways after looking up that thing on the internet i felt like a burden was rekeased fron my shoulders, saying that many relationships go through this and they come out stronger. So i texted her saying i understood wjy she wanted a break and that i should find myself as well amd be a better me, then i stayed awaje in my pitch black room amd got really lonely amd depressed while trying to sleep. I texted her one last time saying im sorry for putting her through the fear of me dying amd calling the police. ive decided on getting counciling to deal with my past in my foster home up untill now. And im taking my medications again (prozac 100mg), basicly u want to know from you if u believe this is normal relationship stuff? Is it possible to continue our relationship stronger and more involved?. Why would tge real reason be that she broke up with me and why is she ignoring me. But as of now i am cutting the ties witg her. No matter how hard it hurts im going to refrain from texting her or looking at her pictures. After my exams are done im going to text her asking if we can meet for coffee amd just catch up. Thank you.

[Leoj7896]

And she says she wants me to find someone else and that she has apreciated our time together and other sentences that sound like she doesmt want me anymore. Im. So confused and lost and i dont k ow what to do.

[Leoj7896]

I think she is just confused and lost, very Lost. This all came out of nowhereand 8 think she is having major anxiety a d dipression and it seems like she wants me. But in her head she believes that letting me go will be better, im not one to give up. Once i find a councillor and if she will go im thibking of bringing hee to one with me. I want to help. I thibki know now why shes doing this. I dont think she is thinking rationally, do you?

I think shes so depressed is cause of school, her one crazy friend, my dipression and lonelyness. And her parents, she says that however long she has rememberd her parents dont like they dont love eachother and dont even sleep in tge same bed. Her mom often freaks out at her. Is always mad for some little reasons and they get into a lot of fights. And her mom always has tried to keep her away from me ever since i got tattoos. Her dad and brother have always loved me and they think im awesome. I just dont see where i went wrong. And if i asked her if shes dipressed she will say no, is that nornal? I remember when i was a young kid that i always denied suicide and being depressee untill my doctor gave me medications.

[Leoj7896]

And to th3 coffee thing i remembered that when we were talking she told me that she will fufill her promise to take me out on my graduation dinner after i get my diploma. So im hoping she will still do that, and i hope we can sort it out through that too.

[jimmisss]

don 't get me wrong... but you stopped sending her messages and now you are writing all that here... You need to get out of that cycle... This is not solution... you just changed the channel - everything other stays the same!