Sleeping with new Boyfriend... First time? -
November 12th 2015, 09:11 PM
So I recently got into a relationship with a guy from my college, but for now were keeping things on a low. We live pretty far from each other, and mostly see one another during college hours - so we decided on a 'sleepover'.
I'm absolutely fine with the sleepover, but my anxiety is hitting the ground!
Mostly because I'm afraid he'll think different after seeing the house I live in - its not the nicest or fanciest. & I'm not rich or my mother. I'm not fortunate to have game consoles like wii's,playstation's,xbox,Ipads,etc. But I know he is. We have crappy Freeview, he has better broadband etc.
My room consists of a old tiny I mean tiny tv, a cheap dvd player, bed, and obviously wardrobe and drawers. - pretty much it. I've always appreciated it this way, I have a laptop, a phone - its all I'm really into - I've never been the type to ask for expensive things - but anyhow... my room is so tiny and awkward and I have the stupid boiler in my room which is even more embarrassing!
I'm just scared he'll be like think different of me? So far he's been really good, I had to mention my self harm because I didn't want him to be freaked out and I wanted him to decide before getting with me - so I wouldn't get close - scare him away (if he reacted badly) - and end up hurt.
My ex also recently exposed a 'indecent' image of me (rude) to him and some others, I was absolutely devastated & upset, but he said he wouldn't think different of me... and he hasn't? Also my ex shared some serious police information to him about my dad, and again he hasn't backed away...
But its just i'm so scared he's gonna change his mind, it hurts that i'm panicking over all of this and basically thinking hes gonna leave anytime soon... Do I tell him I'm worried about what he'll think of my home? And I'm so frightened that he'll be bored or something...
Urgh I'm so overwhelmed, and drowning in so many pointless thoughts. He's not the first guy I've slept with and It's the thought of opening up about a few things he may wonder; I'm okay with that but still fearing the worse....
Any reassurance at all? Advice? Calming tips? Anything at all? Thankyouuuuu xxxxxxxx
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