I don't know how to talk to my boyfriend
 

I've come to the conclusion that I might have an eating disorder. It hasn't been formally diagnosed, but the past few months I have been engaging in some unhealthy and damaging methods to lose weight, and it's become a compulsion. My therapist said if I keep engaging in these behaviors she is going to recommend me to a therapy skills group for people with ED, so because of that I am concerned.

However, this post isn't really about that. This post is about talking to my boyfriend. Normally, we are open about everything with each other. We have a particular kind of relationship where I am required to be honest with him about anything concerning my health. He knows I was engaging in unhealthy eating behaviors, but I told him that I'd stop. However, I haven't stopped. If anything they've gotten worse. I eat normally around him and so he doesn't think anything's wrong, but the rest of the week I am engaging in those unhealthy eating patterns.

This is weighing like a terrible secret on my chest. Every time I'm around him I'm thinking about the fact that I'm still doing the stuff I said I wouldn't do. I want to ask him for help. However, I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm terrified that he'll want to start helping form a diet plan, or that he'll tell me I have to eat more, or that he'll simply be disappointed in me. He's fixing to leave in three weeks to go on a trip for three months and I know that these behaviors will only get worse while he's gone. I need help. I need to tell him, but I don't know how.

How do I get over my fears and talk to him? It's tearing me up inside not to be honest with my partner about something as big as this.

Re: I don't know how to talk to my boyfriend
 

The most important thing in this case is simply to be honest with your boyfriend. I know you feel like you need his help or that he is going to become overly involved in your recovery, but let him know how you have been feeling. Acting like everything is normal around him when it is not, is probably going to damage your cause, I mean you must be around him so much.

Make sure you make it clear that your therapist is going to play the main role in your assistance. Say something like this: "I really appreciate you being there for me and helping me out, but right now, things probably aren't what they need to be. Being in therapy is huge, and it's only going to take a bit of time, for me to get back to where I need to be. When I get there, I'll have you to thank."

So acknowledge that it's not where it probably needs to be, acknowledge that it will, in time, and acknowledge his contribution. If he reacts undesirably, then that's not something that you can control anyways. What you can control is the pace of the interventions assisting your recovery, if you feel uncomfortable. That's the main thing, putting yourself and your recovery first and communicating to other parties, if they need to know that these things take time.

Re: I don't know how to talk to my boyfriend