Triggering (Suicide): serious trouble with my moms boyfriend!!!!!!

[misunderstoodgirl]

I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE
My mom met this guy in 2010. Things were rocky from the start. At first I was jealous cause it was the first guy in my moms life since I had to tell her that my dad was cheating on her in the Christmas of 2005. so for five years it was just me and her. then we got in a fight in 2011 and he kind of got physical ripping my head phones out and braking them cause he though I was ignoring him but I thought he just stopped talking. it took a really long time to move past that. Since then we have had our ups and downs. I have been quite protective over my mom because of what my dad did to her. So often it comes across as I don't want him around when I am just looking out for my mom. I am trying to work through that but its really hard. He wasn't there after what my dad did to my mom. it was just awful my mom was a mess I ended up having to grow up really fast I went from 10-20 years old over Christmas. I was the rock holding my mom together. so I don't want that to happen again.
so he loves telling jokes, puns and at first I didn't mind but lately there getting real bad. there constant even if there totally unrelated. the worst part is there just awful joke or puns Thanks to his jokes I can't take anything he says seriously. It's annoying and constant every time he opens his mouth it's flipping joke. And a lot of them make no sense or I don't even know what he's talking about and he interrupts everything just to get a stupid joke in. its seriously getting on my last nerve. I have been putting up with his lame ass jokes to long. My mom won't even let stand up to him. And every time I talk to my mom about I hear the same lame ass excuse "It's who he is. He can't change" I just can't take anymore!!!!!!!!!
That excuse is pure bull shit. She just says that lame ass excuse every time and then she turns it's so its my fault I feel like a ticking time bomb tonight I finally snapped and really lashed out. so tonight he was making some TV show theme song all about him and I told to just stop it in a frustrated tone. It's all about him.
plus I have been real moody and snappish lately cause I stressed with finals at university.
plus he acts just the whole world revolves around me and I need to be the center of attention. he is always trying to one up me so he gets all the sympathy. its so annoying. some of his jokes are just plain mean. I think that's why he tells so many jokes cause he cant stand not being the center of attention. he doesn't care what kind of attention positive or negative.
plus he does have a really hurtful habit of making me feel stupid if I don't know something.
I tried talking to my mom she wont hear it at all. because it all my fault and I am the embarrassment. its like he's Mr. perfect. also on countless occasions I tried to get me my mom and her boyfriend in for a counseling session with my therapist but all I hear is no its waste of time and money. I am the only one with issues, I did everything wrong.
I know I can be snappy and moody and have a short temper some days and I sometimes treat him like dirt I will admit it and I have said sorry many times. I have at least tried to change where he gets off Scott free and never as to change.
I am feeling like he gets away everything I rarely hear I am sorry from him
I really at the END OF MY ROPE. don't know what to do because he's really mad this time and so is my mom. and I am going to blow up if he tells another joke. how do I ignore the things that make me crazy?????????
HELP WHAT SHOULD I DO

[hocus pocus]

Hey,

In my experience and opinion, I think that people who one-up others and make others feel stupid for knowing or not knowing something are manipulative and often emotionally abusive. The manipulation can be seen when you try to communicate and everything gets turned on you so it looks as if it's your fault. People can change, but it takes a lot of work and effort. They have to want to change for themselves and themselves only. I know you don't like the things that your mom says about her boyfriend, but I think it may help for you to remind yourself that this is the way her boyfriend is, and because of that, his arguments and actions are invalid.

You can't control anyone else, you can only control yourself. You said you've talked to your mom, but have you talked to her boyfriend? It seems like you've done a lot to try and mend things and I think the effort you put in is awesome! Your mom and her boyfriend may not want to go to counseling, but that doesn't mean you can't go for yourself. I suggest talking to a counselor on your campus. I think you can also benefit from releasing your feelings so you don't keep them inside and snap. Maybe you can keep a journal, or a blog. You can also write a letter as if you're writing it to your mom's boyfriend and then you can find a safe way to destroy it. Try to express your feelings, and maybe you can consider avoiding your mom's boyfriend or removing yourself from upsetting situations whenever you can.

I had a situation like this with my dad and his current partner. I did not like the person my dad was dating and we got into a lot of heated arguments about it. I honestly did not like my dad's partner for a long time.

I don't know why it changed but I eventually started ignoring the things that bothered me about him and I put my foot down in a firm way when he upsets me. He doesn't always like it but I need to stick up for myself. For example, he is really touchy feely and I don't like that so when he does it too much I get upset with him and tell him. Sometimes he still won't listen to me...he doesn't get it...but I still stick up for myself.

My dad and his partner are constantly telling me I am mean and stuff like that because of the way I stick up for myself. That used to hurt my feelings and it still does to a certain extent but I have been able to get over it.

I think the key is reminding yourself that your mom had the right to date whoever she wants. She might not be in a healthy relationship but until she is willing to admit that and walk away there isn't a lot you can do.

I think you should continue sticking up for yourself. I know it's hard not to snap but try to do what you can to prevent it. If you snap sometimes remember that everyone has their breaking point. I still snap at my dad's partner sometimes. When you snap apologize if you feel up to it.

You can get through this. I know it's difficult but your mom's relationship does not have to destroy you or anything like that.

If you haven't done so already talk to your mom's boyfriend and express your frustrations and concerns. It might help but in the end, you cannot change someone you can only control how you respond to them.

Best of luck and if you need anything feel free to message me.