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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Question dating one guy but in love with my bestfriend!! - December 15th 2014, 05:15 AM

i have been with this one guy for 6 months now and going strong he takes care of me. he protects me .he is smart,funny,handsome,athletic,courageous,sweet:heh e:,sensitive,tough.honestly he is almost perfect for me.My family likes him.his name is Christopher (Chris ) BUT, there is this other guy he is my best friend i' ve known him for 4 years he is everything the guy im dating now is and plenty more i am in love with him we did date before for a year and a couple months but then i had to move away for awhilehe know absolutley everything about me.Ik he is loves me but i'm having a really hard time deciding on what to do? i have two really amazing guys but 1 very complicated decision! can anyone help?????
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Re: dating one guy but in love with my bestfriend!! - December 15th 2014, 08:11 AM

Brittany,

This sounds like an awful situation, so I am sorry.

Do you feel that you are in love with the two equally, or do you only love your current boyfriend out of convenience? You need to figure that out. If you're only with your current boyfriend because you're not with the other guy, that's not fair to him. You can't simply be with your boyfriend because you don't think you can do better (with this other guy), not that you said that, but I've seen this happen before.

What I'm saying is that you're "unsure if this other guy even likes you"which infers that if you knew, you would have already decided to leave your boyfriend. This hints that you may just need to break it off with your current boyfriend; it seems he's there for convenience. Whether or not you love him as well is irrelevant; he's obviously not as important to you as the other guy, and regardless if the other guy wants to be with you, it's unfair keeping your boyfriend in this place.

I would never want to be somebody's second choice...you know? You're not a terrible person, this happens to many people. But you need to also put yourself in others' shoes and do what is right for everybody.


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Re: dating one guy but in love with my bestfriend!! - December 15th 2014, 03:09 PM

Hey Brittany,

I'm sorry to hear that you're in a situation like this. Situations like this can be hard and complicated.

As Traci mentioned above, many people go through situations like this and the best way to resolve it is asking yourself and being completely honest with yourself about the relationship with your current boyfriend. Do you think its working out well between you guys? Or do you feel like you'd be better off dating this other guy that you say you have feelings for?

Traci is also that that you gotta do what's fair and I think its unfair to your current boyfriend that you are looking for someone else to be with. If that's the case, its best to break up with him. But you gotta do what's best for you and what's fair at the same time.


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Re: dating one guy but in love with my bestfriend!! - December 15th 2014, 03:12 PM

Hi there,

Is it possible that you like your best friend only because he's out of reach? It sounds like you love a lot of qualities about your current boyfriend. Who's to say your best friend would be the same?



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Re: dating one guy but in love with my bestfriend!! - December 15th 2014, 08:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coffee. View Post
Brittany,

This sounds like an awful situation, so I am sorry.

Do you feel that you are in love with the two equally, or do you only love your current boyfriend out of convenience? You need to figure that out. If you're only with your current boyfriend because you're not with the other guy, that's not fair to him. You can't simply be with your boyfriend because you don't think you can do better (with this other guy), not that you said that, but I've seen this happen before.

What I'm saying is that you're "unsure if this other guy even likes you"which infers that if you knew, you would have already decided to leave your boyfriend. This hints that you may just need to break it off with your current boyfriend; it seems he's there for convenience. Whether or not you love him as well is irrelevant; he's obviously not as important to you as the other guy, and regardless if the other guy wants to be with you, it's unfair keeping your boyfriend in this place.

I would never want to be somebody's second choice...you know? You're not a terrible person, this happens to many people. But you need to also put yourself in others' shoes and do what is right for everybody.
thank you so much for the advice i really needed it.
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Re: dating one guy but in love with my bestfriend!! - December 15th 2014, 08:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saiyouri View Post
Hey Brittany,

I'm sorry to hear that you're in a situation like this. Situations like this can be hard and complicated.

As Traci mentioned above, many people go through situations like this and the best way to resolve it is asking yourself and being completely honest with yourself about the relationship with your current boyfriend. Do you think its working out well between you guys? Or do you feel like you'd be better off dating this other guy that you say you have feelings for?

Traci is also that that you gotta do what's fair and I think its unfair to your current boyfriend that you are looking for someone else to be with. If that's the case, its best to break up with him. But you gotta do what's best for you and what's fair at the same time.
thats true but to answer yall question i do love my current boyfreind very much and i do know the other guy loves me because he has told me we have told eachother how we feel it just i feel like both guys are way to good to be in a tug of war game with me THEY DO KNOW ABOUT EACHOTHER i have told my boyfriend about me and this other guys past with each other and he gets my delima ..but now the only two things standing in the way are my heart and my mind.
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Re: dating one guy but in love with my bestfriend!! - December 16th 2014, 02:00 AM

I just have one little thing to say. I don't remember where this quote came from.

When deciding between two possible loves, always choose the second. If you were really in love with the first, the second would not have crossed your mind.
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