Triggering (Substances): Just found out girlfriend smoked pot- please help

[ravenesta]

my girlfriend has had a pretty turbulent home life- deeply religious, possibly verbally abusive father and she resents her mother
ive heard about her getting drunk before and shes made jokes about smoking pot, but my friends just texted me and said that she was calling them while high
shes come down now i think but shes being really closed off with both me and our friends, she wont open up and she keeps insisting that shes fine and that she can handle her own problems

i havent been dating her for long but ive been her friend for years, and i really, really want to help her but i have no idea how
drinking clearly isnt a common thing for her and drugs even less so and im fairly confident shes not an addict, yet at least

how do i help her?

[MsNobleEleanor]

Hello ravenesta,

Do you know if she is seeing a counselor/therapist or even a social worker? Those kinds of professionals can help with how your girlfriend is feeling and she can talk about how home life is affecting her. She may be having a hard time coping with some of the weight she is carrying so smoking Marijuana is something that isn't problematic till she becomes addicted and relies on Marijuana..

When someone smokes Marijuana it's not a unhealthy coping skill, it does become an unhealthy coping skill when she becomes reliant on Marijuana. If you're concerned that she may become addicted and reliant on the use of Marijuana then you can always welcome her to talk with you when she needs someone to talk to, that you will be there for her. This can show her that you do care and want to know what is bothering her.

In a conversation with her, could you ask her if she wants to get some help to improve her life, how she is feeling, maybe get some support for her and her family together? Another option could be seeing a school nurse or a school counselor. Usually school counselors can provide some services in the community and offer counseling support at school.

Let us know how you are doing and how she is doing, okay?

Take Care.

[Tommy1]

We cannot help a person who doesn't want to be helped. I think she is trying to solve everything alone. Just be there for her, all you can do is to wait for her to ask assistance.

[Green Yoshi]

i think that what you can do is tell her stuff like " whenever you feel like the world's crashing down, talk to me. " people usually rely on things like substance use when they don't know what to handle whats around them, and that's proven by a lot of people... they don't have anyone who can immediately help them, and thus they turn to that.

i don't know what her family has put her through, but i have faith that you'll be able to help her. Tell her that you won't judge her. A lot of people keep their problems to themselves because they're afraid of being judged.

If you need any more advice or just a friend, i'll always be around.

[La Dispute]

'pot' is not addictive or harmful. I smoke pot often (most days) and I am usually less depressed. I found it as a solution to my cutting although it can be expensive. Drinking on the other hand can be very harmful to your brain and liver, and also cause you to act like a fool. my doctor is fully aware of my use of the drug and seems to be fine with it although she says it can effect my school performance because it makes you lazy.

[livingdeadboy]

As for the drinking, I'd worry. Marijuana, however, not so much. I smoke pot myself and it actually does me alot of good, though, like everything it's best done in moderation. I think you should do some research into pot before you draw any conclusions. I find that two joints a day is an acceptable limit, but if it interferes with work in a negative way, it's a problem. I run a talent agency and most of my musicians smoke it, but, as I tell them, everything in moderation. Pot in moderation helps with cognitive and emotional functioning, among other things, but when you use too much, it hinders you in these areas.