Crushing but have a boyfriend..?

[thestorysofar-]

Okay, hi everyone

I have a long term relationship at the moment, and we're going to have our 1 year anniversary on October 31st. Anyways, I am deeply in love with this person and I could never imagine being with someone else, also we live 1,908 miles away from each other. I've just recently moved away from my partner and it's been hard going to school without them and not seeing them all the time, but we're getting through it quite nicely.

Anyways, I've been going to school and whatnot and have met really cool people that im glad to be friends with now. But a dilemma has come up. I think I have a crush on someone else. While dating my current boyfriend.

I don't know anything about my crush or whatever you want to call it, and I wouldn't want to throw my relationship that I have now away for someone that I dont even know. I'm not saying I have feelings for this new person, I just find them really attractive and a bit of a crush.

The question I wanted an answer to is, is this a bad thing?? To have a crush on someone as you're already dating someone? I don't really know.

Thanks in advanced for all your help and answers.

[Eternal]

It's normal to find other people attractive, but I think something you should think about is how you'd define a crush. To me, having a crush means you have feelings for someone. If you just think this guy is attractive then I don't think you have anything to worry about. Being a relationship, especially a long-term one typically means you don't have eyes for anyone else. But even if you're madly in love it doesn't suddenly turn you asexual for everyone else. You'll still find people attractive and you'll still see their good qualities.
If you think you may be developing feelings for someone else, then I recommend getting some space for them if things are going well in your current relationship. As you said, it's not worth it to throw away this relationship that's working than to risk getting into one with someone you don't know.

[Kindred]

I (hope) think it's completely normal to find other people attractive whilst in a relationship. So long as you don't act on these feelings, I wouldn't say there was anything wrong with it at all. I know it can be so hard to be in a long distance relationship, but it sounds like you're managing it well. I think the right thing to do is just take a little bit of space- most crushes don't take long, so just separate yourself from him and hopefully that will help your feelings fade.