My girlfriend self harms

[Green Yoshi]

thats awesome. Don't worry too much because i think you can overcome everything. Just watch over her because i know she's been through a lot. So its better to stay careful .. i know you care about her a lot and i think that's really good. not many guys can care about some other person the way you do.

[ElectricWizard]

Last night was really bad I honestly had the worst weekend of my life! Emma, she came back from that fucking arseholes house, she stole a sharpener, she we to her moms with a hangover and watched the movie suicide room. She said to me when she got back to her nans that she had randomly burst out crying. And then again a hour later, she wanted me to video call her as she was crying again, so I video called her and made sure she was ok, then she writ on a piece of paper she had an urge and I tried my best to take her mind off of it and then she ended the call and said she couldn't fight it and she wanted to find the sharpener. She then voice called me again and I could hear her crying and I tried to console her and I panicked and told her you don't need it, you don't need it, you'll be ok, I promise over and over and over and then she said 'I need to find my blade' and she wouldn't stop crying and then...'I've found it' and I panicked even more, an started to cry and cry and all I could say now was 'please don't' and she did it and she couldn't stop. It ended with 'I've done it' and 'I'm sorry' and finally, the part that hit me the most

It feels so good

And all I could say is 'I love you' and i broke down completely and she said 'I love you too'

She did say it was me or the blade and she couldn't have both and she chose

We talked for hours after then, I didn't she any cuts, but today I did. She put on the camera so I could see her and she was crying her eyes out and I was saying how perfect and beautiful and how I couldn't live without her and she said people have said she has nobody and she gets hate from every social networking site, and that everyone will leave her and that I will. I told her that I wouldn't ever leave her and she kept saying I will but I won't! And we had a good conversation about our future once this stage had ended nicely. She's scared her cuts will get infected though and she counted how many she inflicted

126

She has another urge that night, but she didn't cry and didn't do a thing, she fell asleep...

The next day, today, she was triggered and didn't want to see me at all. I saw her in the morning, but not as much break and lunch as much as I wanted to find her. She came around in lunch and I was welcomed after not feeling needed. And the rest of the day was pretty mellow, although she had an argument with her mum, and she broke one of her ornaments and threw all her blades onto the floor. Hopefully everything fine now...

[ElectricWizard]

I fell asleep and 3 hours later she told me she was triggered, and I didn't wake up :/ I feel guilty that I didn't wake. At 7:00 she messaged me and said she had the urge to die and I kind of dealt with it and I got to school and saw her with her head in her hands and I sat down and hugged her and It was ok for a little while. Then some stupid teacher decided to have a go at her because of her lip piercing, bringing her down. she started to cry in front of another and he had no idea -no idea-

the school does know about her self harming, they have sent her home, not knowing the consequences

she walked home, told me she felt numb, all suicidal

[Green Yoshi]

i just want you to let her know that things will be okay. Just tell her to ignore all the pressure from the outside world, and just try to be happy. And no matter what kind of hate and nasty comments she gets, she's going to be your girl.

She probably feels worthless and she thinks that she isn't worth anything. And i think that you need to find out what happened at that mean person's house.

I know that things will be okay. 126 cuts is a lot though... just try to make sure that she doesnt hurt herself anymore. She's done a lot of pain to herself already...

You take care of yourself too and remember that the both of you deserve the best.

[Forging Galaxies]

Like everyone is ultimately gonna say on this thread, I think you're a good person doing a fantastic job with your girlfriend.

I understand what's it like to take the bear of the pain that comes out of seeing someone you love so much hurting inside and outside of herself. It shows you got absolute strength for yourself and the total love for her.

Despite all the troubles you got with her, I'm sure she thinks of you everyday and thinks you're the best person to her. For her getting drunk and using any other means of substances, it happens and you can't exactly control that. When people are... severely depressed such as myself, people don't tend to think it through and just want total salvation from the mess we're in. I'm sure you understand that, she just taking it in extreme way. Sure, you can't control her actions in the future but you have the power to influence her thoughts and choices.

It's a long battle you two are going through and nobody coming out without scars from what you've recently said in this thread, but I swear to you that things will get better for the both of you as long you got that strength to keep going for her as well as helping her.

I wish the best of luck to the both of you

[ElectricWizard]

I can't thank you guys enough for the support!

I love her, I broke down crying during school because I was so worried :/ she's ok now though. Me and her friend who I was with shared messages she sent us. He said she felt numb and didn't want me to know, she had enough, sent images from the movie 'suicide room' and was suicidal. She trashed her room. She released and she's ok now

I decided I'll run across Birmingham to see her, and she according to her nan, had a heart attack when she found out I was there, in the good way! She was happy to see me and we had a few good minutes with her her nan drove me home and she got out the car and she said, I have something for you to get rid of, and it was a blade, I threw it away on the motor way, I know she has more though. She's at her mums, I can see the future, but she will be ok...

[ElectricWizard]

She cut again, on her thigh, I need to realise this is an addiction, curing will take years...

She managed to find another sharpener, she told me she wants a bigger blade...

It's a crucial point again :/

[Green Yoshi]

just remember to tell her that everytime she feels like hurting herself, she should talk to you first. I know you don't want to see her hurting herself. The same feeling applies to me

i want her to be happy.. and i know that this too will pass.

You'll always have my support!

[ElectricWizard]

I've had enough! Make it stop!

[Green Yoshi]

well... with someone like her its going to take more effort .. this is because she's went through a lot in the past, and it's going to take a lot to really penetrate her defenses. She's also used to dealing with pain and suffering with these methods and it'll take some time.

But i think you're on the right track! keep at it.

[ElectricWizard]

I'm in love, love conquers all, I feel i can do it

Thank you all for the support!!!

She cut today, in a school cubicle, I could of stopped her, I wish I did the deepest cuts she's ever done in school apparently, today got better towards the end though, she's asleep now, sleepyhead aha. She's running our of room, getting closer to the wrist, her arm is a mess but all I see is beauty

I love her, I promise you all, I can save a life....

[Green Yoshi]

i think that she's on the right track. just make sure to talk to her and tell her that she can tell her worst worries to you.

Just remember that she's probably afraid of being judged. Whatever started her problems and sadness is probably a huge worry.. that needs to be solved and overcome in order to really save her.

you can definitely save her.

[ElectricWizard]

I'm in school doing this so I'll be quick. The past week has been bad. she has cut everyday and her arm is ruined. But today has been up, she's been laughing, I had a bit of a down but I feel better now that she's a little happier. She's drinking the weekend, I don't really blame her, I know she'll be safe and it's one less night without cutting, but it's a kick in her liver and diabetes. Me and a friend has contacted her Dad and Nan and told them about her increased self harming, I think I pissed her dad off, and Emma will kill me if she finds out. I have also found out a friend who works in a warehouse has provided an endless supply of blades. He/She does not know what Emma uses them for, so I'm going to track him/her down as stop this supply. Getting more and more radical about this.

[ElectricWizard]

It's questionable whether she cut yesterday or not, she didn't give all her blades to her friend, she has 3 left. Last night got worse instead of better. I thought her being with her dad would bring her joy, but instead she argued with him, which it something different. It was about Christmas, her mom is moving to Ireland in 14 days and Emma isn't the most Christmas-y type person, due to all the arguments that go on within her family. She had urges last night too, I tried to take her mind off of them, but instead, she pushed me away. I went silent until she said sorry, it was abit of an arsehole move, but I was hurt. We macs up, moved on, today could be good. This morning she was triggered, whether she cut or not, is unknown. But she's ok now...

[ElectricWizard]

Today it getting better she seems better today, but she's drinking tonight, Which I don't really mind, but afterwards she stopping with the fucking prick who got her drunk and got her to smoke over night, she was talking to him on Friday, possibly to ask him if she could stop over, and she hasn't told me about this party at all! Fuck! I'm mad! I'll have to deal with it, but tomorrow is going to be even worse! I know it! She'll be ok, I know, but I won't. I'm suspicious of what's going on between her and that guy...luckily a friend is there to watch over them.

[ElectricWizard]

I'm sorry for being aggressive recently, I can't fight these feeling. She's drunk, she's messaging me to make me worse

[ElectricWizard]

She just broke up with me

[hocus pocus]

It seems like you were pretty stressed towards the end of the relationship and although you may be viewing your break-up negatively, I think this is ultimately better for you in the long run. Supporting someone struggling is a very special thing to do but it can also be emotionally draining on ourselves and we have to take care of ourselves before we can help others. It's easy to neglect ourselves while supporting others. Additionally, there's only so much we can do to help someone before a professional should step in; but even then it is up to them to help themselves because they are the ones in control. Now you'll have some time to focus on the well-being of yourself and I hope you're able to stay safe through everything. We're always here if you need advice or support.

[ElectricWizard]

Thank you

[Green Yoshi]

i'm sorry this happened.. but this can lead to a new beginning where you can move on, and do happy things. Things happen for a reason. But this can lead to good stuff where you can relax, recover and just forget about the negative stuff.

You'll always have me around if you wanna rant or just need a friend.

also, sorry for not replying earlier. i was a little unwell..

[ElectricWizard]

I need her though

[Green Yoshi]

i understand how you feel... its the same after a relationship. You'll miss your other half.

hang in there. this too, will pass. rant to me about everything.

[ElectricWizard]

We can get back, I know it, I can't just give up

[Green Yoshi]

we'll see what the future holds.

but i want you to know that you can talk to me bout anything.

[ElectricWizard]

Ok, so there 'isn't that connection anymore' and 'I can't be in a relationship because of my depression'

We're friends, I'm going to try and win her back

[ElectricWizard]

Never mind

[Amandaapandaa]

I'm sorry this happened I've broken up with my boyfriend in the past a couple times and I always came back to him because I needed him so maybe within a week she might feel the same I did? You are an amazing person. Don't let the break up define you.
Just try to be her friend and be around her as much as possible.

I'm here if you need anything

[Green Yoshi]

i'll always be here too. it must feel really bad... but don't let this affect you too much. I'm sure that things will get better for you in the future.

i'll always be here, too.

[ElectricWizard]

She cares for me, but she doesn't feel the same way I do. I thought I was bad with her, never mind without her

[ElectricWizard]

Thank you guys, I just have nobody to hold onto now she was my rock

[Green Yoshi]

things will get better, i promise. just stay strong, and i promise that you'll either get back together with her or meet someone else.

I know that its tough for now, but this too, will pass.

[ElectricWizard]

I know for a fact that break ups are devastating. You don't need to be in a relationship to know that. But to put me though hell, to get her and to be with her and still come out scarred but still loving, and leave me, wow. I can't even- what do I feel? Love is what I feel. But she doesn't feel the same...

I can't stop crying

'I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the sun..in somebody else's sky but why? Why? Why can't it be? Why can't it be mine?'

[ElectricWizard]

That lyric describes exactly how I feel now. But is it for the better? there's no answer. I can concentrate on myself on, but I can't show my full spectrum of help and advise to her. It feels different, because when somebody tells me they love me, I feel so much better. I can't tell her that now, she doesn't feel me anymore.

[Green Yoshi]

sigh...
sometimes these things happen. but you gotta move on and remember, you'll eventually meet someone else.

There's always a chance you've got our support.

[ElectricWizard]

I will move on. To be friends with her is the closest I'll get to a relationship again with her, unless she misses me enough.

[Green Yoshi]

that's the right way to think.

no matter what happens, we'll have your back. and never ever think of yourself negatively because of this. You're such an awesome, caring person. I'm pretty sure that you'll experience real happiness in the near future.

[ElectricWizard]

Officially bipolar!

And today was bad, or good in a way, I stood up against some bullies who were throwing pencils at her, I got pushed to the floor, but I felt good because they stopped I feel a friendship growing or a relationship, I was depressed today and she's having urges, but we'll be ok!!

[Green Yoshi]

things will eventually be okay.

i think that the bullies are mean. she deserves better than to be bullied that way.

Just relax, and be positive . Naturally, things will look up!

And there's a lot of bipolar people around, and almost all of them happen to be nice, awesome people.

[ElectricWizard]

Thank you guys!

She's feeling numb now, but I'm trying to be a good friend, not boyfriend and keep her happy and safe

Thank you so much for the support, I really need to keep this girl happy, whether I'm with her or not

[Amandaapandaa]

I'm so proud of you for stepping in and helping her. That's so brave

Keep doing what you are doin, no matter what happens or what people say or do