My girlfriend self harms

[ElectricWizard]

Hi

For 2 months and 15 days, I've had a special someone. We're 15 and I love her to bits. She's intelligent, loving, caring, good looking and is my soulmate.

I want to be able to help others in the same or a similar situation as me, as well as seek support for myself and her.

Behind the smile, lies an urge to harm herself, to punish herself. The urge to die.

I assure you, many self harmers are not usually suicidal, self harm is used as a desperate cry for help or the punishment of ones self, but I believe when self harmers become addicted and the growing pressure builds up, suicidal tendencies start to build too, so as soon as you know someone is hurting themselves deliberately, you support them in anyway you can to avoid that or even slow down the process in some cases.

The time I found out she had been hurting herself was the time she was with her now ex-boyfriend, who happens to be my best friend (it's a tale of betrayal, oh, the drama)
We talked about her often, because I liked her too and it caused a lot of grief for me knowing she was with a guy I was once able to trust.
But anyway, one day I was around his house and he said, 'you know, .........cuts herself'
And it shocked me. To find out someone you are close to, someone you have feelings for, is hurting themselves deliberately, it's a hard pill to swallow. You would think it was a phase or just 'a time when bad things happened'
Sometimes, it's been happening for years, sometimes is just a bad day. But with my Emma (we'll just call her emma for now), it isn't a phase. After seeing a picture of her legs, i knew it wasn't a phase. After years, it becomes a way of life and it is up to you to change these people's lives.
My friend left her to prepare for exam season and said another reason was her self harming.
My time of hurt ended, and I was time to put that positive energy into saving the one I love. I picked up the pieces, and I'm rebuilding her slowly.

One thing you do not do is leave you friend or loved one alone. You reassure them, tell them everything will be fine, tell them you are here for them, and if they call you or text to 1:00Am, you message straight back and ask them what is wrong. They need you, you're important to them enough to make them turn to you. It doesn't matter if you can't handle it, slowly, you learn and you'll handle and help them through their darkest hours.

Another thing is, you do not lose your temper. Be patient, sometimes it's tough expressing thoughts and feelings. Be supportive of these people, and try to help them out with simple exercises (breathing exercises etc.)

Lastly, you cannot, under any circumstances say 'just stop' or 'promise me you'll stop' because, that's like saying stop sleeping or eating. Once you know it is a way of life for them, an addiction, you'll know it will take years for this addiction to come to a full stop. It's sad but true. Those two words do not help at all.

It's time to give you guys insight into my girlfriend, from what I know. Do not let this break your image of her. At first sight, you'd see a young, happy, smart teen with endless amounts of kindness and love. That is exactly what you get, she's amazing. And it's such a shame, that people could hate this little innocent girl who deserves nothing but love, because that's all she gives, love. She's fairly introverted, but she sticks up for her friends and family, and gives undying support to anything and anyone. She has done charity work, raising money for cancer awareness and even attended my mom's race for life. She's is incredibly talented as well. She can play a number of instruments, and can draw amazing pictures. She's perfect, and I love her.

She has been self harming, specifically cutting for 3 years, she considers herself addicted. she used to smoke, but she quit and I'm so proud of her for that. Then a couple of weeks ago, two cigarettes. Once, she smoked cannabis. On 4 occasions she has been calling me and messaging me drunk, I know the alcohol has taken control. She has told me that she has been in hospital for suicide attempts, overdosing on medicine sometimes. As I write this, although I'm a 15 year old boy who has a heart build for war, I'm overwhelmed with sadness, I get so teary eyed.

The reasons behind this; she struggles sometimes with her diabetes, parents split up whilst she was young, constantly argues with her mum, a friend of hers, committed suicide, now she cannot sleep at night because her dreams of him and 'shadow things' and she believes she sees him and hears him. She believes she has failed her exams, but she passed 2/3, she passed 2 major subject whilst i passed 1 and I'm so proud of her...
And there is probably more...

She is not crazy...

She has professional help. She goes to counciling and they are thinking of putting her on anti-depressants which I vouch for, but I'll lose her if she does take them, they're personality changers, but I know it's for her own good. What can I do? Also, I asked her one day if I could come to counciling with her as extra support. She said no. I can feel she is upset by the matter and doesn't want me to be brought down, which I respect. I've heard she breaks down into fits of rage...

I live far away, which is a problem. I try my best to see her as much as I can, luckily last week I saw her 4 days in a row. I do have problems of my own, but I believe Emma's are far more severe and I want to put my time and energy into helping her rather than myself most of the time.

But we have hope, she has hope. Is this a sign? We have been discussing things, like our house or cottage we will live in when we're older, our dog we'll have, name him or her Kurt or Kurtina. We've discussed what car we'll have. And even, baby names...

I want this to happen, more importantly, I want her happy. I'm giving her my all, buying gifts, complimenting her, telling her I miss her and I love her. It's all true. I want to help her through everything. I love her so, so much and i never want to leave her. But it all comes down to the question: can I do it?

Relationship wise, we're so close, but I constantly bombard her with messages checking up on her, I'm scared I'll ruin it for the both of us...
That aside, I believe I'm providing as much support as I can...

I've persisted, and I won't stop for nothing.

What do you guys think? What else can I do?

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Hey there,

I first want to start out by saying how amazing of a person you are for wanting to help out with her. Perhaps you can give her this link to a list of alternatives to self harm? It may urge her to find healthier, safer ways to cope with what she is going through.

You are doing the right thing by checking up on her. I think you should sit down with her one more time and talk to her, and reassure her that if she ever needs to talk to someone, she should come to you and you will do your absolute best to help her. You can't push her or force her to talk, but it can help a lot t know you are there.

I think you are doing all the right things to help her, and I bet she appreciates that. I know you may want to do more, but sometimes there is only so much a person can do. She has to do things for herself as well. You shower her with kindness for sure. You are open and supportive, and you are definitely making it known that she is not alone.

Keep filling her with those thoughts of hope. Thoughts that she can make it. Thoughts that she can be successful and have a good future. Sometimes a little bit of hope can go a long way!

If you ever feel as if she is in immediate danger I recommend you tell someone to keep her safe. But, I'd say you are doing a lot for her already!

-Dez

[Green Yoshi]

your girlfriend sounds like an amazing person, probably because she is one. I also feel for her because she's went through so much, and yet fate has been unkind to her regarding all the negative happenings in her life. however, you are the shining light of her life... and you should be proud of that not many people have shown the dedication you have for her, and i think that shows a lot about the kind of loving boyfriend you are. Any girl would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend.

I think that what you need to do is to continue reminding her that she's stronger than this, but also remember that she is someone who is probably quite emotionally hurt on the inside. Be there for her whatever happens.... she has went through a lot, and i know that you can be there to catch her when she falls. I know that this seems like a funny answer, but i think that she deserves the best. And she's already went through so much pain and turmoil .. and still makes the effort to help out people who are less fortunate. Your girlfriend sounds like a hero to me.

you sound like a good boyfriend to me, and i know that you can help her make it through this. I know that you can support her and reassure her that she's worth it, that the person she is .. happens to be someone that a lot of other people aspire to be.

I'm sorry if my reply happens to be a little long. I just want the best for the both of you. Things will definitely get better . and you know how she has been a heroine to all these people by supporting them and being kind and just cheering them up?

i do not know why, but i get the feeling that you have what it takes to be her hero .

[ElectricWizard]

Well today, she just returned from Wales. She loves that country! She considers it her home due to, lets say the better part of her family living there. I believe she went on 3 days without cutting whilst there, because when she's there, there isn't a thing she has to worry about.

Just 2 hours ago, a status in Facebook marking her return, one particular sentence reassured me 'I can't wait until next year when I come back'
It struck me, maybe she's one step closer to recovery.

Sometimes I want to give her space, I can't just bombard her all the time, but I feel guilty afterwards. I also want to freely state I have recovered from self harm myself. For a short time during exam season, I used scissors, a hair pin I was given, sharpener razor, the edge of a USB stick and a paper clip. I want to reassure you all, it does get better. My girlfriend helped me through it.

All I know is, is that she has a connection to that country. Maybe if we get far enough we could move there...

I want to say thank you for the truly helpful and supportive responses. Thank you.

[Amandaapandaa]

I agree with everything everyone has said so far.

First off, I want to say how amazing you and your girlfriend seem. You two are meant to be ♥ I don't know anyone who has a better boyfriend then the one that your girlfriend has. You are so sweet and caring... I wish there were more guys like you out there in the world. I've had my share of jerks. (Lol)
One thing I might add though is after a while when someone has been struggling for so long that when people ask how you are it can get on your nerves. At least, that was the case for me. Other than that you are doing a tremendous job in helping her. Thanks for being strong for her and helping her through this. You are a kind spirited person. I bet she is excited to be planning her future with you.

Best wishes,

Manda

[ElectricWizard]

Thank you people again for the support.

Word is in that she hasn't cut for 4 days now, not had any urges whilst in Wales! I'm so proud of her!

All I need to take care of is her dreams, to take her mind off of her friend. It's a psychological thing, but I think all I can do it help. I'm up now staying vigilant, waiting for her incase she needs help, like most nights. She'a probably fell asleep now. It's very rare that she gets proper natural sleep. Sometimes, she takes sleeping meds, sometimes she doesn't sleep at all...

Won't let her go until she's tended to...

EDIT: around 00:16 last night, she suffered one of her dreams, she woke up again at 2:40, and said she slept fine after that.

[Green Yoshi]

good i want things to get better for the both of you. don't hesitate to ask us for any advice!

[ElectricWizard]

These are more or less updates now, not everytime something happens:

Had a good day yesterday with her, caught something to eat and hung out. She was happy, but I knew she was putting on a brave face for the most part, the night before, she told me how her blood sugars a were low, don't want to get too personal, but she was angry at a ex. I can't see her often due to the distance between us. She was fine yesterday...

Today she cut, we had one of those mornings where we're both guilty of something, she had low blood sugars again and a headache. And another ex (I think) made her angry. Those were her reasons, but I knew before she told me.

Soon, you'll learn to know when your peer has harmed his/herself.

She cut again today when she read a fictional book about a self injurer triggered her, she's still reading it.

I'm reassuring her and doing what I need to do...

[Green Yoshi]

thats good. and i hope that things get better. but i know that you can help her. im sorry that she hurt herself... but i think that you need to stop her from talking to people who piss her off. If those people care about her, they shouldnt be angry anyway.

remember that the both of you deserve the best.

[ElectricWizard]

UPDATE #2:

So we're back to school and- I'm struggling to put it into words, I don't know if she's ok. At this point, I'm so, so scared. We haven't got a great track record at school, when we're there, one of us is likely to mess up. We don't struggle academically, we have good grades, we struggle to cope with the pressure and one of us ends up cutting (I stopped in July after a short span during exam season) and now school had started again, it has come back to us both.

On Sunday we had an amazing day, had something to eat and she came back home with me. She said how her face hurt from the amount of laugher she had from this day-

I'll spare the details 20:43 sept 3rd: she cut

[Green Yoshi]

i think that you need to remind her to just take it easy.. and i think you too should take it easier. never ever pressure yourself to the extent where you gotta deal with it by doing something. just take it easy

sad that she cut. but i know that things will get better. just remind both her and yourself to take it easy because things will get better that way.

[ElectricWizard]

The last few days have been ok. She passed her maths GCSE! and I'm so proud of her for that. We exchanged letters we had written for each other because yesterday, we celebrated being together for 3 months, her letter brought a tear to my eye. It rejuvenated me, I was filled with new found hope, and were stronger than ever. All she needs is hope, and you people are helping me fill her with it! Thank you!

Today she had a rough morning, she had one of her dreams, and then a message saying she wasn't in the best of moods and wanted to be alone. This is in school, so me and a group searched for her and we found her, despite her wanting to be alone. I was scared she was cutting. When we found her, she went Into the toilets, of course, I'm not allowed into the girls toilets, so I waited. She could of been doing anything for all I know, but when she came out, she wouldn't stop snapping at her wrist with a rubber band. I knew she was going through an urge, at least now I know what she's like, extremely quiet, unresponsive, I just didn't know what to do, I had no time to put my arm around her, because I don't know how she'd react, I asked her if she was ok, no response. I saw her during my 2nd lesson, and I didn't know how to approach her, I didn't see her during my break because she didn't want to see anyone. By lunch, I decided to find her no matter what, and when I found her, she was happy! She held my hand and I never wanted to let go, but I was ruined by the librarian who forced me out. We saw each other after school and it went well.

And I was reading a book she was reading herself, and the prologue triggered her, and it made me so upset, because reading it, the author described it as a beautiful thing when it's not, I just want to hold her tonight...

I've finally convinced myself I can do this, for her. I want to be with her forever, I want to hold her in my arms and never let go, because she deserves only the best. Seeing her so crushed and upset today has only made me stronger, i think i can do this and although I am upset myself still, I can only love her to death. I'll make her happy, stronger, I'll fight for her, no matter what, and I will not stop, I will not give in, we won't lose...

Thank you for your endless support

[ElectricWizard]

She's drunk, hasn't had a good day, and I've never, ever been so passionate about helping her. I love her so much, lets do this.

20:35 - she's gone and I'll just say, I'm so broken, I'm crying my eyes out.

[ElsatheDepressionSlayer]

I don't have a lot of time to respond to everything you said here. But there is one thing that bugged me and I feel like I have to say something. Anti-depressants are NOT personality changers. Yes, there are some psychoactive drugs that mess with personality, but anti-depressants don't do that. I've been on Wellbutrin for a year and a half now, and I've had absolutely no side effects. Not everyone will be lucky enough to find a medication that works really well with no negative effects. But I can assure you that anti-depressants don't change your personality, and you will not "lose" your girlfriend if she goes on them (which I personally think she should). Also, there are so many different options for treating depression that if she starts a medication that has too many side effects, she can get switched to a different med and find one that helps without hurting.

Other than that, I want to say you sound like a very supportive person. Just make sure you take care of yourself as well. I was once in a similar position as you, and my close friend's issues nearly destroyed me as well. Obviously seeing someone you care about in so much pain is going to hurt regardless, but there's a difference between experiencing that pain and being consumed by it. Take good care of yourself. (Obviously that's important for you, but also you'll be able to care for your girlfriend better if you're mentally healthy yourself.)

[ElectricWizard]

I'm sorry for the dig at anti depressants.

So much is happening, and the relationship is failing, I'm trying so hard, I'm completely drained of my resources, nothing left for her in me. What do i do?

It's amazing how after I created this thread, It only got worse, there were times of happiness, times of laughter. But now I've lost my baby girl, she wants a break, thinks I should stay away from her. How can I? I know some day she'll have a beautiful life. I'm so lost, she could be doing anything, she worries about bringing me down, but when she leaves me alone like that, it really does. I have to stay strong, but what can I do, if there is nothing else to do?

Last post for awhile

[Green Yoshi]

i think that you should remember to tell her that no matter what happens, you'll be there to support her. unless she needs a break... then just let her relax. sometimes, some time off can be good. But remember that she needs someone to support her, and i think that this someone should be you.

rant to me if there's anything!

[ElectricWizard]

The last few days have been...tense. Saturday, she was drunk, she said she felt numb. I tried my best to reassure her, help her through it etc. her mom found her, as she stayed at hers the weekend. Sunday, I had to deal with her, sobered up, guilty. She still felt numb, and was going through an urge, and wanted to move to Wales to start over. She then said she felt I wasn't doing enough for myself and that I worry far too much, she wanted a break from the relationship. She felt she was destroying me, destroying the relationship. I know she's right, I don't do enough, but there's honestly no time to think of myself, only her. I sent her lyrics from our song, iris by the Goo Goo Dolls and after that, everything was fine, or so I thought. The day, I thought got better, she was happy, as she said she started new. She opened up to a friend...
She said she wanted to die...
And without her and me, she wouldn't be here.
I tried to uplift her, help her, but I don't think it's any use.
Monday, was a bad day (sorta) they're is nothing to go into detail with on that day
Tuesday, she was happy! I was able to show her the love I have for her. She was happy because the friend she opened up to decided to tell a teacher at our school, who is also a councillor at our school and got her more help, and they're keeping a close eye on her. She was happy by the fact, not angered. And we had a great day that day.
Today was an ok-ish day at school, but by the end of the day, her feeling of numbness started to crawl back...

I love her, and I won't let this stop me, tomorrow, is her day, I'll make her shine.

[Green Yoshi]

im cxertain that you can do it. just remember to tell her that she deserves happiness, and i think that she deserves someone like you because you care so deeply... you even know how she's like day by day in detailed manner.

i truly think that to really make her happy, whatever that caused her to begin thinking negatively has to be dealt with. and i know that you have what it takes to change her life for the better.

If you need some advice or even just a friend, i'll always be here.

[ElectricWizard]

Thank you all for your support

I've had a doozy of a day. School was fine, I was with emma, spent as much time as I could with her, I spent 4 hours with her after school and we had a good time, until this happened:

As teenagers do, messing around with random rubbish in my girlfriend's room. I picked up a small metallic box. Asking my girlfriend what was in it, she grabbed it out my hands and threw it on her bed, I was suspicious of it, then when we decided to take a walk, I caught her off guard and ran after her, after the box. I was unsure of what was in it, but I realised it was where she kept her blades. I didn't take them off of her, I couldn't, no matter how I could try, I believed I could never get them off of her, as much as I could plead, they are her lifeline. So I hugged her and told her that she didn't need them, not now, not ever. And I now believe I failed. When I had the chance to take them, to delay her self destruction, I didn't take it, because I know it would make her worse. Her room was a mess. Ripped posters, the general teenager's domain, but with the odd spot of dried blood on the carpent...
We returned to our evening and now I realise for the whole evening, she was putting on a front. She wasn't happy, she wasn't really laughing. I don't know what to do!

Then when I got home, A text, asking me to take her blades off her and giving them back when she was desperate for them, I went under way, planned to store them whist I be the judge of how long she can last without them. But she's keeping them, no stopping her. She cut, not very deep apparently, but I wanted to tell her close friend, and I did. Emma, knew I told her, and now there is a lack of trust between us. I'm confused. I know it's not about me but I feel used up, all I have I gave, I don't want to lose her, I want to be there for her, but I'm trying not to convince myself that there is nothing I can possibly do...

She's getting good at faking it now, and now I'll truly never know the truth...

[Green Yoshi]

i just want you to let her know that no matter how tight of a spot she's in, you'll always have her back. she's went through a lot, and i want you to convince her that there's no point for her to put pressure on yourself or to blame herself or anything. just remember that you can tell her that you're open to anything she's going to rant or say. And also the fact that you're never going to judge her for anything whatsoever.

This moment is the real crucial point.... her knowing that she's got the most faithful of people backing her up is definitely going to make things better for her.

you're awesome for doing so much for her. you know that? you really are.

[ElectricWizard]

Yeah, this is defiantly a crucial point, it took me until lunch time to build the confidence to talk to her, as she pushed me away yesterday, actually told me to leave her alone. And at lunch, there was no actual deep, motivational talk. We made up. But I made sure she's ok, and I believe her, even though I may be wrong. I'm luckily seeing her tomorrow and I'm really thankful for it. I sent her a letter. My writing wasn't the best, and I didn't read it over and in actually stressing over what I put, because that letter was my thoughts and I've never opened up to her like this before. All I remember is 'you're beautiful' 'all this isn't your fault' and 'I love you'

Because it isn't her fault she's like this, it's the world, it's cruel to some and I can't lose her...it is imperative that I fight for her, and although, there will be pain, I will help her, support her, in ruthless now, I'll stop at nothing. Lets do this...

[Green Yoshi]

i think that you can help her . sometimes a lot of bad things happen but they are nothing that she cant overcome. just remember to keep telling her that you'll be there for her, and that she knows that she's important and loved.

you're a role model that a lot of other guys could learn from. be proud of yourself.

[ElectricWizard]

Yeah, thank you. I honestly want to meet people in the same or similar situation as me. I honestly don't like being centre of attention and I want to help others. We had a good day today and yesterday ended on a high, as she stayed at her friends overnight and had her first cut free day in weeks

Today we met up with a couple of friends and spent the day in town, had an amazing day. Loved every moment with her and co.

Tonight she is staying with her dad, whom she adores. Despite the last two weeks being frustrating, today paid it off and I love her more than ever! I don't think I have to worry for tonight, but I will keep my eye on her.

Right now, from things that happened today. Through all the awkward moments, the silly moments and laughter and funny, but serious situations, all I can think is, I love this girl, no matter what. She's perfect, and I have to be the best for her! She can do this, I know she can, and all I want now, is to be with her everyday....

[Green Yoshi]

thats the mark of true love, right there. here's hoping that things will truly work out. i want you to know that you are definitely the right person for her. i'm glad that you had a good time!

[ElectricWizard]

Yeah, I do love her some stuff happened yesterday. Had my first root beer, bought some Sepultura albums, just the works really.

Not something I remember, but apparently we used to play a game where we would ask each other questions and honestly answer them. Apparently, some were funny and some were really personal, I don't know whatever. But I took it way too personal this time, to the point where I sound like a pest! I said I was sorry and I do love her, she seemed ok about me asking, but I think what I asked was wrong and I did warn her haha! No hidden agenda, just don't want this ruined because on my stupidness. Don't want it to change my image, or hurt her. Won't post what I asked on here!

She's at her mums today and she doesn't get along with her mom, I have to watch out for her. There is a possibility this will be just one of those days again :/ but I have to think positive.

12:07: I almost forgot! It's her birthday soon and her dad messaged me to ask me to ask people to come to the party, 2 weeks time, I think her outlook on life will be changed it'll get better for her

It'll get better for everyone

[Green Yoshi]

things will work out . just remember that you're a man a lot of other boys could learn from. You really care for her and i think thats sweet.

Root beer can be nice! And even if she has a bad day, the important thing to do is to remember to be there for her.

[ElectricWizard]

My god, I can't stop thinking about that root beer! Too bad they're a little rare here in England.

Negatively, my friend says she found plaster wrappers on the floor...I don't think my baby girl hasn't gone a day without cutting for near 2 damn weeks...

She cut today, but I believe today ended with a high. Had a funny moment.

Usually, I'm the romantic one and my girlfriend loves romance, but can't do it! So today when she's finally being romantic, this real intimate hug and she says 'I love you' and I have to ruin it by saying 'what?' It was so funny, and I'm never usually the one to ruin these moments! I did tell her I love her though, and I've written to her today.

To be honest, some days I can be truly terrified and heart broken when she cuts, those days are days when I am unable to see her, sometimes days when I do see her.
Days when I do see her however, I take it more easily, because I'm able to see her and comfort her and help her through.

When I was running after her because of that little box, I never felt so heart broken in my life, to see how protective of the blades she has used to cut her skin open with. I should of grabbed them, because what good would they do? But worser damage would of happened if I'd taken them from her...

She's not a smily girl, neither is she depressed. She's angry and I understand, by the way the world has treated her. It's not normal to have so much rage in a girl, to completely destroy her room, to fight with people older than her, revel against her mom, walk out of lessons. She's angry, she needs love and I love her more than I love myself, more than she loves herself. I love her. And I'll be there 'till the end!

[Green Yoshi]

you should love yourself too. and remember that you can help her overcome everything. sometimes there are awkward moments but they make the relationship fun i just hope that she'll learn to relax and take things easier.

[ElectricWizard]

I've spoken to her dad. Not directly about self harming, as he knows about it. But I have been I contact with her dad, and he's a lovely guy. He likes what he hears about me and I'm glad. I help him and he supports me!

Last 2 days have been quiet.

I want to honestly tell my parents about it, I don't know if it's right or wrong to tell them.

I had another 'hope moment' today. Walking with my friends dog, and she said to me, 'that could be us one day, in a field running after a dog!' And I believe she's ok tonight

Haven't heard from her since 9:00 though, little worrying and she was down this morning, gave me a message saying she's sorry and she f***ed up. Why? She hasn't.

I've had another romantic moment, sending her a heart shaped paper with lyrics from our song, Iris on it romance is a good thing, love my sweetheart!

She's getting better, she was able to sleep another night, realised she was a lucid dreamer, was able to literally escape her nightmares. Lets hope it stats this way...we're finally on track

[Green Yoshi]

things are looking up! you can empower her. i know it! she didn't mess up in any way!

[ElectricWizard]

I'm at school! I think she's ok, seeing her later, she's at her mum's this weekend, trouble comes with her :/

[ElectricWizard]

So she's at Her mums and she's drinking. That's all that happens at her mums; arguments and drinking. I just want to tell her that I don't like her mum, she causes pain for both of us, driving my girlfriend to the drink and numbing her down. She moved out of her mums and into her nan's home. She really hates her mum. When with friends, they're best of friends, alone together they argue.
Her father however, is a good man, learned today he likes me so ill have to keep it up! If she's drinking I think there is something to worry about, she doesn't tell me anything now because she doesn't want me worrying about her.
Yesterday, her mum returned home smelling of fags and drunk, My girlfriend wasn't impressed and said 'it hurts how she's having a great time without me' and 'I was the reason for her depression, her sadness' she wasn't, my girl wasn't. They love each other, I know! I just want them to get along...

Why can't we all just...get along?

[Green Yoshi]

sometimes things can be tough that way... families are a huge collection of misunderstandings... a collection of barriers put up between one another that prevents everyone from really understanding one another. :hug;

but i know that your girlfriend is a bringer of happiness. she just needs to realize that she is super awesome and i hope that her mom eventually realizes how awesome your girlfriend is.

thats super that her father likes you !

[ElectricWizard]

Today I felt in love ^^ she had a good day yesterday, despite being at her mum's. And wow, was she romantic yesterday

I think we'll have a good couple of days leading up to her birthday, luckily she won't do 'it'

Dealing with it, In my perspective...horrible. There's only so much you can say or do without making her feel bad or something. So many things trigger her. Sometimes I loose hope, some days I write for a better day...

[Green Yoshi]

i know that you can help her.

i know that she loves you.

the fact that plenty of things trigger her shows how much she's been through.. here's hoping that she'll overcome all the bad memories soon enough.

[ElectricWizard]

Sometimes, I just sit back and think about how beautiful she is, as a person and physically. She's just perfect. I just can't stress it enough, and to hurt such a beautiful person is too much for me and she no longer cares anymore...
I can't let anyone hurt her, she deserves so much better. 'hope' is all I need, and this site has helped provide that for me. Thank you. She's so beautiful and she's doing this to herself and I just don't like it, I loathe it. I wish i could show you her. Show you her talents. I want to live with her for the rest of my life, and sometimes, I think I will, and this pain will go away. I need to give her the time and space for her too though, I smother er with all my love. I love her...


I've finally decided I need to tell my parents. But how? My parents are the sort who are controlling and only think of the benefits of their own. Of course they love my girlfriend to bits, but how do I tell them, Emma has been self harming? They know about my self harming, my drastic weight loss etc. And I'm trying to redeem myself for them, but what if they attribute Emma's self harming as the reason for my own? I Need to tell them, otherwise they'll never truly understand the reasons being my secretive behaviour and the way I've been...

[Its.Just.Angie]

Hey there, (:

I think it might be a good idea to. Not for your benofite but hers to! If you think she could seriously hurt her self then you really should. But a warning to you is she MIGHT get mad at you if her parents might tell her parents. Idk if her parents know. Yes it might help your parents that self harm is kinda common thing.

How? You can sit them when they are in a good mood and just flat out say "Emma self harms" or you can write them a note if saying it is too scarey. (Which I understand) or just have a convo about self harm and say oh by the way Emma self harms. Idk

Hope I helped a little (: feel free to pm/VM me anytime

[hocus pocus]

I think it's great that you want to tell your parents!

You could wait until your parents are in a better mood if you want to as it was mentioned above. If you're worried about their reaction, you could always have this discussion in a public place so they are more likely to stay composed in front of other people. You can also write a note so you're able to explain what you want to talk about and you can leave it where you know they'll find it.

Best of luck.

[ElectricWizard]

Yes, thank you. I'm just really worried about the reaction. Will they attribute her self harming to mine? I don't know...it just scared me, after they have have built this angelic image of her, and she is my angel and it all come crashing now on them

Emma's parents do know about her self harming, her dad wants to get her as much help as he can, her dad is an amazing father, whilst her mom is one of the factors for it...

I was on her phone today, looking though her pictures which she let's me do. I saw one of fresh cuts. All in a row, the dots of blood on the cuts as well as the crimson lines...it's heartbreaking, and there was a couple of those pictures. I am aware that friends of hers ask for photos to get an idea of how bad the cuts are. And I have seen bad ones, of course it's bad in general, but the worser ones...my god

We've had a good few run of days I believe I had my first kiss with her today and I've never felt anymore in love :')

I'm in love!

[ElectricWizard]

She had urges last night. But no blade, she had to suffer even more...of course blades don't help, but honestly, worse happens when she doesn't have it...