Coming out with gender identity to boyfriend

[Marfmallow]

So, uh, I've recently noticed I'm feeling more transfemenine/leaning closer to the female side of the spectrum, as a biological guy. And I'm really worried about what my exclusively gay boyfriend will think/say. I know he is the nicest guy in the world, but I am not sure how he would handle this. I am really worried because I love him more than anything, and I do not know what I would do if this got inbetween us. I'm really afraid of mentioning it to him.

[vhan13]

Hi there, I just read your post. You said you feel more transfemenine, but does this means that you're thinking about becoming a transgirl? (sorry for asking it like this). Well I need to tell you that I have a boyfriend too. Before our relationship he was together with a girl...who was actually a guy at first. While they were in a relationship she came out as a transgender. She told him, out of the blue that she wanted to become a female. My boyfriend told me that he had a hard time accepting her decision but he knew that she mentally had a hard time and leaving her was no option. He decided to support her in every possible way. So she did the surgery and she turned out to become a beautiful girl and a wonderful friend for me (yes she is the ex of my bf but we became friends). What I am saying is that if you boyfriend really loves you, then he should support you in every way he can. I think the best way is to talk about it even if it's really difficult...and yeah I know it is! But don't let you down, just try telling him

[Marfmallow]

Originally Posted by itsthejoe

Hi there, I just read your post.

Hey, thanks for answering. Not really sure if he'll fully be okay with it.

[RiseFromTheAshes]

It's really hard to predict how someone is going to react to something like that. You really aren't going to know for sure until you bring it up. I think you should still tell him the truth though. How you identify gender-wise is a part of who you are and you shouldn't have to try to cover that up, especially around those you love. Hopefully he'll be okay with it.

[Marfmallow]

Originally Posted by RiseFromTheAshes

It's really hard to predict how someone is going to react to something like that

Hey, uh, I guess I'm gonna go ahead and tell him tomorrow, I'll come back and ask for more advice if I need it.

[vhan13]

Yeah just tell him. Good luck with that! And yeah, don't hesitate to ask for more advice

[Marfmallow]

Uh, this might be triggering for some? Long story short, it went really bad. He's considering whether or not our relationship is gonna work, and he's definitely leaning towards no. I am literally crying right now, I don't know what to do. This guy is the love of my life.

[Hiraeth]

*hug* Relationships breaking up due to orientation after coming out is quite common. But no matter what happens, you didn't make a mistake by being honest. If you two weren't meant to work out all along, it's better that it was addressed earlier on.

We can't truly love another person if we haven't learned to love ourselves, and be authentic in ourselves.

[KateLastName]

There is no predicting how he will react. Just be honest and hope for the best. Hiding it is the WORST thing you could possibly do though so don't simply not tell him.

[vhan13]

Originally Posted by Marfmallow

Uh, this might be triggering for some? Long story short, it went really bad. He's considering whether or not our relationship is gonna work, and he's definitely leaning towards no. I am literally crying right now, I don't know what to do. This guy is the love of my life.

aww, I'm sorry to hear that! Don't let you down, because you told him what you really feel and how you really are. Maybe it's too much for him at the moment and I understand that. But yeah, just give it a rest and see how it turns out. Keep your head up, okay?