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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.
soo basically ive been going out with this guy for almost three months...i really thought i fell for him so i lost my virginity to him. I have told him that i am raised around all boys so don't be insecure because i have a lot of guy FRIENDS only. mainly because i relate to guys more and i dont like drama and a lot of females are about nothing but drama. So i have been making this new friend and this new friend told me he liked me and would treat me better than my boyfriend..but i put him in his place saying dont do that one i only see you as a friend and two you know i am in a relationship so please dont do anything to disrespect it. i also told my boyfriend becuse i felt that was the best thing to do but ever since then he had been mad or irritated at me or starts an argument every time i talk to my new friend or say anything about him. And i have explained to my boyfriend multiple times that im not attracted to my friend nor even see him in that sort of light..
I know this is a tough situation for you to deal with, especially because I think you handled the situation in the proper way. In my opinion, I think you did the right thing by telling your boyfriend about what happened. I know that must have not been an easy thing for you to do, but I think it was the right way to handle the situation.
Did this new male friend understand that you have a boyfriend, and that what he did was inappropriate? I don't necessarily blame him for explaining his feelings for you, but if he pushes the issue any more, after you told him that you didn't appreciate it, then I don't think he's a very good friend to have and be in contact with. If, however, he apologized and hasn't acted in that way since, I don't think that there is anything to worry about. If he truly respects you and wants to be your friend, he'll understand and be supportive of your relationship.
I can understand where your boyfriend is coming from, as he is probably feeling a bit insecure about the whole situation. Talk to him about it in a calm and re-assuring manner. Sometimes, people need a bit of extra re-assurance. Recommendations? Sit down and talk to your boyfriend. Explain that you only want him, and every other guy is just a friend to you. In addition, go out of your way to do nice and re-assuring things for him. If, during a busy day, you two don't talk much, send him a surprise e-mail or Facebook message telling him that you're thinking about him or something. There are countless things that you can do to help him feel re-assured about your relationship.
Another thing I could suggest is having your boyfriend and other male friend meet and hang out. Maybe you can organize a group thing, and invite both your boyfriend and your friend. If they get to know each other, your boyfriend may feel a lot more comfortable about the situation.
All in all, you need to do what you feel is best for you. There is nothing wrong with having a lot of male friends, but you need to realize what effect that can have on a boyfriend. As a result, make the extra effort to go out of your way to make your boyfriend feel more re-assured about the relationship. If your boyfriend still doesn't trust you and/or gets jealous after all of your effort, then I'm not sure you're in a healthy relation and I'd suggest leaving. Trust is one of the most important facets in a relationship and, if it's not present, the relationship will not work out.