He has a girlfriend :(

[Always *]

Ok, I kind of already guessed he wasn't interested in.. that way.. but I found out he has a girlfriend. we live in a city and don't go to school together, there is no reason I'd of known she exists.

I am disappointed in a way that makes me want to cry. I don't know what to do. I feel like I need to give up, but don't want to.

He said they've dated over a year... but I know that he had a thing for one of my friends less than 2 months ago. what am I supposed to make of that?

[caleb1998]

If he was dating a girl, but had a thing for another girl during that relationship, well i dont think he is the kind of guy you should be with. Don't worry there is plenty of fish in the sea.

[taylalatbh.]

Like said above, if he's fishing around other girls while being in a relationship with someone else, he's probably not a very good boyfriend. Either way, if you're still interested in him, it's probably best that you don't act on it at all. You don't want to be the other woman.

Maybe one day you might get a chance with this guy, or find another guy even better than him! Just try and distract yourself and move on from him. I know it's easier said than done, but I think it's the best option.

[Always *]

That's what I don't get, like what kind of guy is pursuing other girls? Cause his girlfriend doesn't live in our city so yeah....
I definitely have limited options
Either he's lying about the girlfriend cause he doesn't like me and knows making up a girlfriend I'll never meet would solve that for him
Or he really does have a girlfriend and he's a shitty boyfriend cause he's trying to get with others. And I feel like if my friend had known about the girlfriend it definitely would have been part of the equation in her disinterest.

Either way, it doesn't look good for me... Either he doesn't like me and is trying to let me off easy... Or he doesn't like me cause he really does have a girlfriend... Or he does like me (which isn't likely any how) and I am the "other woman"...

It just sucks. I always end up liking guys, hell, some of them are funny and charming like him, some aren't... And there's always SOMETHING wrong with them. I hate it. All my friends have these great perfect guys and I end up liking guys/dating guys who are willing to cheat or are controlling or what ever else

[NotExactlyCrazy]

Gurl, any guy that would check out another girl while he was in a relationship is definitely not the guy you want to to be with.

[Always *]

Checking out another girl isn't harmful. I think you can look at another girl and acknowledge "hey, guess what, shes attractive". It means nothing to merely check out another girl and know she's attractive. It's the intentions behind it (ex. wanting to be with her, imagining being with her etc.) that is a problem for me.

But lately I'm just sick of being alone that it's hard not to be like "oh well!" even though it's pathetic. I have spent to much time crumbling and being stupid when it comes to guys I like. It's horrible because I am not that tolerant or weak with other people in my life.

[PSY]

I didn't start dating my fiancé until I was your age... and based on what I've seen with my group of friends, I'm ahead of the curve! Trust me, there's plenty of time to find "the one." I didn't find "the one" until after I graduated from college. I know it's frustrating to feel like you're always going to be single and "unwanted," but it's better to wait for the right guy to come along than to settle for someone less than what you deserve. Be patient, and focus on creating a future for yourself. When the time is right, that person will be presented to you, and you'll be glad you focused on getting everything else sorted out BEFORE pursuing a serious romantic relationship.

[SamMarie]

I'd have to agree on Robin with this. I think we've all been through that where we've all had that crush we really liked and ended up disappointed when they have someone else by their side and not having that opportunity to pursue. It's totally human and it really does suck. You have to remember though, this guy could be a totally different person in a relationship versus that person he is right now to you. I am not saying continue all hope for him- I am saying, watch out. So, if he had a "thing" with someone while in a relationship, it raises many warning signs. Don't you think? I sure as hell don't want to be that girlfriend of his and not realize he was fishing for some other girl in the process. That could have been you. Guys aren't all disappointing, so, smile! Someone is out there looking for you too. Good luck!

[Always *]

Which is exactly what I think bothers me do much. My ex who I dated for 2 years lied about pretty significant things. The first time he confessed and I forgave hime (about a year in) and then about 6-8 months later more things started coming out and our relationship never recovered because I couldn't trust him any more no matter how hard I tried and I needed to end it.

I didn't tolerate it with him, I won't tolerate it now. And to be fair, maybe it's not as bad as it seems, but it probably is. A guy shouldn't be fishing around, not if he's in a relationship, he's been with the poor girl over a year too. I'm not going within 100 feet of that. At all. Ever. And I think that makes it worse knowing that he may have "accidentally" given me reason to never trust him romantically even if a romantic relationship would never happen now or ever.

[PureStorm]

I am sorry for you. Sometimes dating life is just jinxed
Sorry, it's nothing I can help you with

Might it be that you're just into guys who are unfaithful? It's something you need to ask yourself. Are you simply attracting and attracted to the guys who don't give a sh*t and are more of the "bad boy" kind of guys? If so, there's nothing you can change about it.

See you in January.