Non-PG13: how can i help my boyfriend?

[olive98]

he wants to take my virginity but is sad cos he can't hold his sperm inside. he kissed my nipples and his pnis comed. and when i rub my bottom on his lap same thing. he said when it comes time to make love he won't be able to hold his sperm when he slides in. to be honest i don't wanna lose my virginity this year anyway but maybe next year. other boys that have kissed my boobz did not come i think.

[Jess~]

Uh.
Well...um...you can't really help him. I don't know much about dudes, puberty wise, cuz I'm tryin so hard to figure what's happening to me out. xD but maybe he just gets way too excited about the whole, "omg I'm actually doing sexy stuffs wit a girl omggg.." xD pssh, you know males. So he could possibly grow out of it....just a hypothesis. *shrugs*
Also, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do! Never, ever let a boy do something to you that you're not comfortable with. If you're not ready, then he needs to respect that. And if he doesn't, well...then you'll see the REAL reason he was even in a relationship.

[olive98]

Originally Posted by Jess~

Uh.
Well...um...you can't really help him. I don't know much about dudes, puberty wise, cuz I'm tryin so hard to figure what's happening to me out. xD but maybe he just gets way too excited about the whole, "omg I'm actually doing sexy stuffs wit a girl omggg.." xD pssh, you know males. So he could possibly grow out of it....just a hypothesis. *shrugs*
Also, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do! Never, ever let a boy do something to you that you're not comfortable with. If you're not ready, then he needs to respect that. And if he doesn't, well...then you'll see the REAL reason he was even in a relationship.

jess agree maybe lots of males have the same craze. when i was camping with my neighbour [cos he has a nudist camp group incl 8 guys and a couple of girls and now me too] i noticed even tho we were not kiss-cuddling they still had hard-ones.
he said i'm ready to lose my virginity cos my undwear goes soaked when we kiss-cuddle. but i agree i will wait till i'm bored of the fun things coz no rush.

[Mahray]

You may be physically ready, but emotionally? It's your decision, and it has to be your decision alone. Don't let anyone ever pressure you into sex, or losing virginity!

[WallersFarm]

Originally Posted by Mahray

You may be physically ready, but emotionally? It's your decision, and it has to be your decision alone. Don't let anyone ever pressure you into sex, or losing virginity!

Agreed! ^ and if they try to pressure you into sex leave them

[Most Likely]

When I was younger, my father thought me one thing - don't play a game if you don't know the rules.


Back to the topic... When he said he might not be able to keep his sperm in, he was actually right - if he never had sex or masturbated before, he'll propably ejaculate immediatelly after penetration, or short while after. You can't really help him.

[olive98]

Originally Posted by Mahray

You may be physically ready, but emotionally? It's your decision, and it has to be your decision alone. Don't let anyone ever pressure you into sex, or losing virginity!

he is too big for me is my concern but hard to tell i guess cos ppl my age have babies

Originally Posted by WallersFarm

Agreed! ^ and if they try to pressure you into sex leave them

sure

Originally Posted by AngelWings

When I was younger, my father thought me one thing - don't play a game if you don't know the rules.


Back to the topic... When he said he might not be able to keep his sperm in, he was actually right - if he never had sex or masturbated before, he'll propably ejaculate immediatelly after penetration, or short while after. You can't really help him.

he took my bra home so pretty sure he mastbates. i guess its good to save virginity so i guess its nice that he might not be ready either . how long before he is less powerful?

[Most Likely]

Originally Posted by olive98

he is too big for me is my concern but hard to tell i guess cos ppl my age have babies



sure



he took my bra home so pretty sure he mastbates. i guess its good to save virginity so i guess its nice that he might not be ready either . how long before he is less powerful?

You mean more powerful? It depends, every man is different. I can't really say... Some of us can hold few minutes, some (very little amount) can hold up really freaking long.

[olive98]

Originally Posted by AngelWings

You mean more powerful? It depends, every man is different. I can't really say... Some of us can hold few minutes, some (very little amount) can hold up really freaking long.

oh i meant he has too much power cos his sperm slips out too fast, i sat on his lap with my dress up and his sperm went on my undies.thats why i keep mine on even when im excited!

[Peanut~]

Originally Posted by olive98

oh i meant he has too much power cos his sperm slips out too fast, i sat on his lap with my dress up and his sperm went on my undies.thats why i keep mine on even when im excited!

He should probably keep his on too.

On topic though, he could practice lasting longer while masturbating. There are quite a few techniques, like thinking about something very unsexual when he feels like he is about to come. At a guess I would say he may suffer with something that a number of men suffer with, premature ejaculation. I have not really looked into this, but there are methods to help. That said, most men do not last long at all. if they are lasting more than a few minutes, they are unusual. I would love to consistently last more than a few minutes, but if you cant last more than a few seconds, that sounds like there is a problem.

Originally Posted by olive98

he said i'm ready to lose my virginity cos my undwear goes soaked when we kiss-cuddle.

looking up at the previous quote, are you sure it is not his sperm soaking your underwear?
Seriously though, that's not true. That is not an indication of being ready to loose your virginity. You can NOT and should NOT let someone else tell you when you are ready. This applies not only to loosing your virginity, but having sex in any relationship, or in fact having sex any time. and you can even extend this to anything you do. depending on your age, there are only 2 "people"(for lack of a better word) that can tell you what to do. 1. your parents when you are young and living at home, and 2. the law. anything else is your choice. Of-course sometimes, you have to make a choice, stick to the rules of where you are or not go there, or do something - but that is still your choice, not someone else's. If someone is trying to make you do something you do not want to do (except your parents if you are a child living at home), you just say no. If they keep on insisting, walk away and ignore them, and in a relationship, they are not worth being with.

Originally Posted by olive98

to be honest i don't wanna lose my virginity this year anyway but maybe next year.

Then tell him that, and if he is not happy/ok with this, then he probably is not right for you, and you should find someone who will respect what you want, and not just think of themselves.

[olive98]

hi jon, he touched under my skirt yesterday during kissing and he came so he is premature but i told him about the idea of thinking of unsexual things so might be ok thanks!

i dont like saying no but ill try. it makes me cry when others sad. i like making him happy and he does seem to know more. at first i was afraid of him touching my undies but he did and i enjoyed it and want to try again even if his pants go soaked but for sure if he demanded i ride his lap then i'd ignore!

its nice to wait for intercourse cos its nice to imagine it anyway i do a lot.

[Peanut~]

Originally Posted by olive98

i dont like saying no but ill try. it makes me cry when others sad. i like making him happy and he does seem to know more. at first i was afraid of him touching my undies but he did and i enjoyed it and want to try again even if his pants go soaked but for sure if he demanded i ride his lap then i'd ignore!

its nice to wait for intercourse cos its nice to imagine it anyway i do a lot.

I know how you feel, I do not like saying no either, and I do not like making others sad or upset, but, make sure you are happy first before you start worrying and thinking about if anyone else is happy or not. He is more likely to be happy if you are happy as well. If you are happy you will make others happy, if you smile you will make others smile (it works, even when walking around outside, I have tried it). If you are happy with everything you are doing, chances are he will be too.

doing most sexual things will feel enjoyable, esp where your undies are, a lot of what is there is designed for pleasure, and masturbation will help you find out what is the most pleasurable and enjoyable things to do down there, and you can use this to let him know what you enjoy the most. I would suggest that touching him may give him the same feelings as you have when he touches you (just make sure you have some towels ).

I would suggest though that you do not sit naked on his wet pants/undies, not let him get your undies wet, esp if you can feel that they are wet with them still on, and you don't let your undies touch his wet undies, as although it is unlikely, it is still poss for sperm to travel through undies, and if you can feel wet through them, something has passed through them in order that you can feel that they are wet.

on a side note, men can only store so much sperm/seaman at a time, after which they have to ejaculate before they can produce more (I am not sure if that is the right way to explain what I am trying to, but the basic idea is there), and, from personal experience, if a man ejaculates enough times in a short period of time, seaman wont come out afterwards (although I can not guarantee there wont be sperm there), and also, in my experience, he may be able to last longer the second time, and longer the 3rd etc. Just something else you could think about experimenting with.

Imagining is good, esp while masturbating. Wet dreams are even better, as long as you wake up either at the very end, or just after. They are obviously no fun if you don't remember them lol. Waiting while imagining can also make the experience even better than if you do not wait, due to the anticipation, amongst other things.

[olive98]

Originally Posted by Peanut~

I know how you feel, I do not like saying no either, and I do not like making others sad or upset, but, make sure you are happy first before you start worrying and thinking about if anyone else is happy or not. He is more likely to be happy if you are happy as well. If you are happy you will make others happy, if you smile you will make others smile (it works, even when walking around outside, I have tried it). If you are happy with everything you are doing, chances are he will be too.

doing most sexual things will feel enjoyable, esp where your undies are, a lot of what is there is designed for pleasure, and masturbation will help you find out what is the most pleasurable and enjoyable things to do down there, and you can use this to let him know what you enjoy the most. I would suggest that touching him may give him the same feelings as you have when he touches you (just make sure you have some towels ).

I would suggest though that you do not sit naked on his wet pants/undies, not let him get your undies wet, esp if you can feel that they are wet with them still on, and you don't let your undies touch his wet undies, as although it is unlikely, it is still poss for sperm to travel through undies, and if you can feel wet through them, something has passed through them in order that you can feel that they are wet.

on a side note, men can only store so much sperm/seaman at a time, after which they have to ejaculate before they can produce more (I am not sure if that is the right way to explain what I am trying to, but the basic idea is there), and, from personal experience, if a man ejaculates enough times in a short period of time, seaman wont come out afterwards (although I can not guarantee there wont be sperm there), and also, in my experience, he may be able to last longer the second time, and longer the 3rd etc. Just something else you could think about experimenting with.

Imagining is good, esp while masturbating. Wet dreams are even better, as long as you wake up either at the very end, or just after. They are obviously no fun if you don't remember them lol. Waiting while imagining can also make the experience even better than if you do not wait, due to the anticipation, amongst other things.

the one thing we both are happy with is a nice warm cuddle with my skirt up so i will keep saying how its the best feeling in the world so he knows i prefer it way more than other things

yep good point. will make sure i only sit on his lap when his pants are on enough to stop me from getting soaked too. i am careful not to put sperm on my bottoms just nipples (not to be dirty just cos its like a lotion).

so if i keep making them fly out it will not fly out anymore? my girl friend said her bfs just changes tastes. will try today at his home thanks!

i got problems with waking up cos sometimes i sleep throw my alarm and mum wakes me up. can people tell if we were touching ourself in bed? to be safe i only touch during the day!

it seems fun to wait cos it makes you look at men and imagine i think.

[Peanut~]

Originally Posted by olive98

i am careful not to put sperm on my bottoms just nipples (not to be dirty just cos its like a lotion).

I know that feeling glad I am not the only one to think that. Tried rubbing it in?

Originally Posted by olive98

so if i keep making them fly out it will not fly out anymore?

for a short time, yes. they will start again after a short wait, how long that wait is varies between men. I must say that I have not tried measuring how long I take though. You will have to try to see. The danger is though, that he may get worn out, but experiment and see what works. All I can go on is my experiences, I do not really have any scientific or medical facts to back any of this up (I have never bothered to look though).

Originally Posted by olive98

my girl friend said her bfs just changes tastes.

That is poss if you change diet, but I have not heard of it happening that way before. I heard about it changing taste if you change diet on a program I watched last year, I can not remember the program name, but I know I recorded it so I have it somewhere, if I could just remember where . I can not remember where I read it, but I did read that you need to be careful with oral sex as well as any other kind of sex with regards to STI's and STD's as they can be passed on that way too.

Originally Posted by olive98

i got problems with waking up cos sometimes i sleep throw my alarm and mum wakes me up.

What I do, just before I go to sleep I say to myself this is what time it is, and this is what time I need to wake up. it works most of the time. I also use what is known as white noise programs. They play noise on a loop, and the one I have has a feature that it can fade in over a period of time at a set time, so that you wake up slowly, and I put that on before my alarm. There are free programs, but the one I use is not a free one, although I got it as a free gift. I am not sure if I can say which I use here because of the advertising rule though. But if you are having problems waking, another thing you can try is a second, third or more alarms. Before I got this program, I set multiple alarms on my alarm clock, I think either 5 or 10 mins apart, for about 30 - 60 mins before I needed to wake up. chances are, even if you miss a few, you wont miss them all, esp if you turn the volume up loud enough. You could also try changing the alarm tone. I use the alarm on my radio most of the time, but I also use the one on my phone too if I really need to make sure I wake up. If you find yourself hitting the snooze button, move it further away from the bed, so you can not reach it. and maybe have another under your pillow by your ear? Another thing to try is a routine, If you get your body used to going to sleep at a set time and getting up at a set time each day, you will naturally do it. It does not have to be the same time each day of the week, it just has to be regular, say wake up at 8am on mondays, 7 on teusdays, 7.30 on wednesdays etc, it doesnt even need to be around the same times too, I get up at 8am on saturdays and 11 on sundays, and as long as it is the same every saturday and every sunday, your body will know the difference and be able to wake up at the right time. The advantage of this is that your body will expect to wake up, and will make sure you get through an entire sleep cycle before you wake up so you do not wake up sleepy. If you do this though, you have to make sure you stick to the schedule, esp when you are setting it up, which takes a lot of will power, but it is worth it. It is also supposed to be very good for your health and well being too, but that is just what I have heard.

Originally Posted by olive98

can people tell if we were touching ourself in bed? to be safe i only touch during the day!

Very unlikely, unless you still are when you wake up, or you are in a position that looks like you are when you wake up. If you are in the same position when you wake up as you usually are, no one will be able to tell. And even if someone can, chances are they will not say anything anyway.

Originally Posted by olive98

it seems fun to wait cos it makes you look at men and imagine i think.

It is fun to wait.

[olive98]

up its fun to rub in cos then its like sticky like crazy, it feels nice when i wear lacy bra to school and its sticky

oh thats ok if my bf takes time to recharge, i love kissing for hours

oh i will suck flavoured condom on his throbber. its safe

thats good to hear for my pinks! i will enjoy tonight thanks.

[Young Unloved Warmonger]

I think that he needs to practice this. I've done a bit of sex-ed research and premature ejaculation is pretty easy to fix. I don't have time to explain the details, but I recommend the Laci Green video "2 Minute Sex???" Which is incredibly useful. On a more important note, don't have sex unless you feel ready!!! If you are unprepared, or just don't want to you shouldn't let him pressure you into it. I guess that's all.

[olive98]

Originally Posted by Young Unloved Warmonger

I think that he needs to practice this. I've done a bit of sex-ed research and premature ejaculation is pretty easy to fix. I don't have time to explain the details, but I recommend the Laci Green video "2 Minute Sex???" Which is incredibly useful. On a more important note, don't have sex unless you feel ready!!! If you are unprepared, or just don't want to you shouldn't let him pressure you into it. I guess that's all.

hi Coco, thanks! we just broke up for real cos he kept being all dirty talking and nver sweet talking etc