TeenHelp - Cant get over ex-boyfriend

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Cant get over ex-boyfriend

I dated my boyfriend for 3 years and we went to the same college together far away from home. We decided upon a mutual break up because it felt as if we became more of just friends. Over the summer I decided I wanted to get back with him and we went on a few dates but nothing serious. I then tried to move on, but now Im back at the same college he attends and I would like to get back with him but he said "I don't think that's what I want right now." However, I cannot get over him and continue to be upset over it.

Re: Cant get over ex-boyfriend

Well, I would say that it's okay to be upset over this, but not for too long. I mean, I get it that you went out with your ex-boyfriend for 3 years, and that must've meant a lot to you. However, since he said "I don't think that's what I want right now.", he could mean it one of two ways: he just has a lot of things going on in his life right now that he needs to take care of and he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you or any other girl right now, or that's just his way of saying "I don't want to be with you no longer." I don't mean to say for sure that he just wants you to go away, but it's possible that he could mean it that way. I would suggest just giving him space and time to get things sorted out, and when you feel like the time is right, talk to him about getting back together with him. The next time that you decide to talk to him when you feel like all is settled is completely up to you since you're the only one that knows him best. If for whatever reason things don't work out between you two, you can either just remain friends, or just let each other go for the better. It's hard saying that, but you just got to be prepared for this to go either way. Don't blame yourself too hard if it turns out that this relationship wasn't meant to be.

I hope that you'll take this into consideration.

Re: Cant get over ex-boyfriend

You can't get over a 3 year relationship in a couple of months, probably not even a year. Commitment is like that, it stays with you despite their presence. And I get the feeling. It can be incredibly painful.
You're forced to be in this place where everything reminds of you of him. With time, you get stronger with that pain. That's what I learned through personal experience. Everybody says Time heals everything, and it's true.
The point is to accept what happened and to stop thinking about him (stop the thoughts from coming back and signifying what you lack), make some valid changes in your life. Maybe you're back in college, but that doesn't mean you can't gain new hobbies, search random errands and hang out with people that don't remind you of the past. This is possible, and it's maybe one of the best options for you to heal right now.
It's time to start thinking about yourself. Get back on track. With life, with everything. Obviously, if it's what you would like. Be patient. A long struggle is definitely worth it when you're finally healed and look back.