TeenHelp - Online Dating

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Hey guys! (Prepare yourselves, this will be long).
Just wanted some advice/opinions on online dating/relationships. Has anyone ever been in a relationship with someone they met on the Internet, but have never actually met them face-to-face? The thing is, I never really believed in online dating or online relationships. I used to think: "How could you fall in love with someone you've never actually met?". Well, what d'ya know, I've somehow found myself in a relationship with someone on the Internet (I know, I'm such a hypocrite). But I really like this person, like a lot. And this person feels the same way about me (or so they say). It was actually them who initiated the relationship, and I just went along with it. I'm just wondering if I'm stupid, or if this thing going on is real, or what. I know they're not catfish, there's almost no evidence that suggests they are. I really really care about this person guys. I find myself smiling a lot more after I met them. I feel really happy with them. But I don't know if this is right. Any advice or opinions? :?

Re: Online Dating

Well a Lot of people have been in an onlie relationship(including me) I think that online relationships should be for being more prepared for irl relationships so don't ge attached or too serious but still have fun with it. :)

Re: Online Dating

It's totally not stupid at all! I won't go into loads of details, but I'll say I used to think the same way, that I'd never date online, until I met someone who I REALLY liked. We didn't end up dating, but the moral of the story is that it's not stupid at all and sometimes you just can't help who you fall with. You get to know them for their personality and it's not like you're not talking to them when you get the chance!

If you feel as if you really like this person, it's okay to date them. Just remember that online dating, or any relationship really, does require honesty, trust, and communication. With communication, you definitely can make this work!

Re: Online Dating

Thanks for the advice guys :). I really appreciate it.

Re: Online Dating

I've been in an online relationship before. I don't think it's stupid. I believe the feelings you can have for someone online can be very real, just as they can be for someone in person.

I've since decided that online-only doesn't work for me. I don't really desire a relationship where I can see the person at least once every couple of weeks. But, that's my choice, from my experiences. I still value the online relationships I had, and I still know many people who are happy in LDRs.

Congratulations on finding someone who makes you truly happy. That can be rare these days. :)

Re: Online Dating

There have been accounts of people falling in love online and then they met up in real life and things worked out. So it's not stupid because it has worked before. However, you do have to be careful. I believe if you're going to be in a relationship, you have to be able to see each other at some point. So if it's online, see if you can't meet up sometime. And if you do meet up, do it in a public place and/or with somebody you trust just to be safe.

Re: Online Dating

it can work. Hell I met my girlfriend on here and we dated for 22 months before she finally came down here. You do have to put work into them, and a lot of them don't work out but if you really care about them and will put the work into it then you can make them work.

Re: Online Dating

There is nothing wrong with online dating at all! And yeah, it is possible to fall in love with a person through the Internet since you're actualy developing feelings for them while talking to them online. However, I've never had any experiences with dating, so I personally would keep it to a friendship since you don't really know what this person is actually like.

Re: Online Dating

Thank you so much for the advice guys! I'm glad you guys understand. And I'm glad to find out that these things do actually work. Again, thank you :)

Re: Online Dating

Online relationships can be a great thing since you have more opportunity of meeting people that have similar interests to you, but if you never meet in person or you don't meet that much...things can get really complicated. I'm not saying it's not do-able, but you have to have a certain level of commitment that you normally wouldn't need in a real-life relationship. If you don't have that commitment or understanding of what you gotta do to make the relationship work, it's probably going to fail. I've been through several online relationships that I felt pretty good about but they all failed because we eventually wanted that intimacy that phones and cameras can't give. Be very careful.

Re: Online Dating

Thank you Brandon :).. And thanks for the warning. Sometimes I need to remind myself that a lot.. Does anyone think I should talk about this with the person I'm dating?

Re: Online Dating

Online dating is becoming more popular I think and there is nothing wrong with it. I'll admit, most of my relationships have started online and eventually we'd met up and carry on from there. My first one, we were together for two years before we finally managed to meet and it was very hard going those two years without seeing each other, which is something you should consider like Brandon said, not saying that it'll the same amount of time but eventually you'll get to the point where talking over the computer or over the phone won't be enough anymore and you'll want something more.

Re: Online Dating

Hm... Well, for starters, online dating isn't for everyone. Yes it is becoming more popular and accepted. I tried it out and all I could think was that I would be to embarrassed to tell my parents and friends about HOW I met the guy if I met him online, so I went on 1 date that was just... meh (the guy was wearing basketball shorts and a golf t-shirt... His pictures showed him dressing better and that to me just seemed inconsiderate to show up to a date dressed THAT sloppy, that wasn't my only issue)... After that I deleted my account...

As for being unsure about the account being a catfish or "not all it seems" (ex. he's really an asshole in real life). My policy was always to be at least a little guarded online, only give enough away to reciprocate in getting to know the person a little so that you have an idea if you're interested then insist on meeting in person after that. Personally, I never would have dated someone online who I had no way of easily meeting in person after a few conversations.

For me, it's one thing to have a LDR where you USED to live near each other, like maybe your husband is a soldier and was sent on a tour in Afghanistan (ok, lots of other whys too, like one moving away, different colleges after high school etc.) BUUUUUUT for me, eliminating the physical connection all together just makes it harder and some how more superficial so you need to have plans to eventually meet in person (the sooner the better)... But regardless of WHY I think knowing each other in person is important, I think it adds a degree of safety because then it forces the person to be more honest about who they are. Of course, you should always meet in a public place and avoid being alone with them at first (like don't accept a ride, make up a reason why you don't need it! and never ask, that's a huge deal breaker for me which is why there was no second date with that guy :p)