When to start dating again?

[Lost_Confused]

My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. Which, I'm glad because it basically ended months ago but we never did anything about it. But there's a guy who really likes me and treats me like a princess and just treats me right, even just being best friends and he wants to ask me out sometime soon. But my relationship just ended, and I don't know how long I should wait. A part of me wants to date him because he makes me happy, but a part of me wants to be single for a while. But either way, if I was going to date him, it wouldn't be right away anyways because I don't want people to think I left my boyfriend for another man or hurt his brother and family by dating someone and them thinking "she sure moved on fast.." but I don't know how long I should wait before dating. Djebsjfjd relationships are so complicated.

[PureStorm]

Hey, it's only as complicated as you make it out to be

First of all, having kind of an inner conflict on a subject can be normal. Both sides should get satisfied in the end so it doesn't escalate to an inner war. So ask yourself what you should do and if it is just waiting, then how long. We cannot answer that.
Secondly, you seem to be too concerned about what others may think about you. You can keep worrying about the oppinions of others and possibly miss on a great, possibly life changing, opportunity. Or you just do it

Cheers

[Always *]

It's really a matter of how long you really want to wait... I've had people be like "I want to be single for a while" only to have a new boyfriend within a few weeks and call that "waiting" where as my idea of being single for a while being like at least a few months. I think a lot of it has to do with whether you are really ready to be in a new relationship, if there is that special someone etc. I know a lot of people end up leaving a relationship and end up just sort of seeking out a new partner because they're to afraid to be alone or they are rebounding and just want someone to fill that hole, but some people just "get over it" more easily and really do just like another person.

It does sound like you do want to wait a bit, you could always just date this guy casually, spend time with him go for walks or out to dinner, what ever floats your proverbial boat. And enter an actual relationship when you are certain that making it "official" is the right thing to do. You don't necessarily have to make it an all or nothing deal, you CAN be in a casual dating scenario with a guy and know you'd LIKE to be in a relationship with him and not rush into it just because you can, this would also provide you the opportunity to get to know him better in addition to allowing you to be essentially single for a while as well as avoiding upsetting others.

I agree with PureStorm, you really shouldn't have to worry about whether other people will care or not that you have chosen to move on already, but I can most certainly understand the concern, it's not like you are worrying about whether or not someone is going to like your new shoes, if you don't want to burn bridges with the exes family by risking offending them and that is something important to you then you are in your right to make that a consideration. But realistically, the worst is over, you already broke up with their son/brother so if they're still accepting of you then your golden, they will understand that obviously you will be with someone else eventually, but if you still feel waiting a bit is for the best then so be it.

The real question is what is best for you. Do you think that being single for a while, even if it is only for a few weeks or a month or so, would be for the best? You CAN be single while still getting to know/spending time with this guy, I just want to emphasize that (at least in my view) it can be combatible, you might not be as 100% single as someone such as myself who isn't interested in anyone and who isn't dating someone, but I do think it's possible. That way you can keep the guy, you can give the time to avoid what others will think AND satisfy the mention of wishing to be single.

But at the end of the day, this is just one possible route you can take, you realistically have to do what you think will be best, whether it is getting into a relationship now or later or what have you

[Lost_Confused]

I try to not worry about what others think, I just do care about his family and don't want them to think I'm some sort of a floozy or something that took advantage of their son/brother to get away from my mom and stuff. Apparently the guy is going to ask me out soon, but I don't know what to say. In a way, yes. I do want to be with him, and be able to go out and be able to hold his hand, go on dates with him, stuff like that. But I kind of wanted to wait a couple of weeks just until things settle down and not seem like I jumped from one person to another.

[xxpaigiexx]

Nika,
I think however long it takes you to move on is entirely dependant on you as a person. However, I do think things are a little too soon, if I were you I would enjoy being single for a little while. I would figure out my options and enjoy being by myself and seeing friends.
Are you having feelings for your friend because things were going so badly with your ex? I would give myself a little time to get used to being by myself. When we're in relationships sometimes we forget about the things that make US happy as a person and the things we like doing, we often think of ourselves as a pair and things we enjoy doing as a couple.
If you have any hobbies you haven't indulged in recently, go out and do those things. You'll know when the right time to move on is. I think you know that now is not the time to move on.
Best of luck
Paige

[Always *]

You don't need to feel pressured to say yes. If he asks you, just tell him you want to be able to take some time for yourself and that you'd love to spend some more time getting to know him and dating him casually. It's more a matter of just not labelling it before its ready. i know that can be a hard conception to play with, but as long as you think it through of how to say "yes, I really want to, but please let's keep dating casually for a little but until I am more ready to be in another relationship", make sure you protect his ego and that he knows how much you want to spend time with him but given that you just got out of a relationship you need more time