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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.
In need of dating advice -
April 15th 2013, 01:38 PM
I went on another date with a boy I like this weekend. Things went pretty bad near the end and I was freaking out. We did some things and I was just really nervous and the night ended up really awkward. But he told me that whatever happened that night doesn't change how he feels about me. He was pretty upset with me because I didn't tell him that I was uncomfortable. Yesterday morning, I texted him and he never responded. So I did again last night and told him that I was sorry for not being honest with him. He texted back apologizing for not responding earlier but then said "I just think we're on two different levels" and I was like "it's because I'm staying a virgin. okay cool." (I'm 17). And he said that it wasn't anything sexual. It was just that I was so squeamish the last time we hung out and he doesn't know what I'm cool with." So I told him that I was fine with what we were doing but not the location and for him to think about what he wants to do. My friend said it sounds like he likes me, I was just too nervous and that bothered him a bit. He was all like "I want to get on the level where you can tell me anything and I can tell you anything and I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me." But since it wasn't our first date, I don't feel like all hope is lost. So I was going to wait until wednesday and my friend was going to text him suggesting that we hang out because I'm comfortable with him now. And I was going to text him later that night so we could talk. So what should I do?
Re: In need of dating advice -
April 16th 2013, 06:04 PM
I think it would really help if you went on another date with just him, but don't do anything sexual. Don't have your friend tell him that, this is between just you and him. It would be better if you told him yourself.
You two could go out to dinner and just talk and get to know each other. That will help you to feel a lot more comfortable when you're with him. You're right, not all hope is lost. It's going to take time to build up trust for him, so you'll just have to take these things slow. As for touching, start with just kissing and slowly work your way to more intimate things. What's most important above all is to communicate. Before you take the next step, talk to him and let him know you feel ready. If you get in the moment and find you really aren't, then be sure to speak up. If he is a decent guy, he will understand and slow down.
And here you are living, despite it all. Lead Moderator | Disputes Committee | HelpLINK Mentor
Re: In need of dating advice -
April 17th 2013, 01:24 PM
I agree, back it up a bit physically. If its gonna last, you have a while to do all the physical fun stuff, so just chill with it for now. Tell him "lets try another date, no physical stuff, no awkwardness". If hes not cool with that, then hes just out for the physical stuff anyway, and you dont want to be with someone who doesnt want you for YOU.