On a break with my girlfriend

[MrJSO]

Okay so my girl and I were going strong at 18 months and in August, she said that she needed a break to focus on school and everything, I understood that because she was a freshman. But then I look on her facebook two days later and her friends are posting "Omg you and Tre are so cute together" and I'm like are you kidding me. And eventually she told me and I was furious. She kept telling me I'm sorry and it'll only be two weeks (worst part about it, she told me a day before our 19 month anniversary). So we could talk like friends and she would tell me that she misses our relationship and that the other guy is sort of a jerk but isn't ready for us again. Then the next thing I know, she's ignoring me, talking to me rude when I express my feelings and most of her friends at church would say she's being a jerk telling me to wait for her but date someone else. Soon after they break up, and a couple of days ago, they're back together but she said she still loves me and wants us to get back together

[Eternal]

Honestly I think it would be best to just end this relationship completely and move on. Her friends are right, it isn't fair for you to have to wait around when she's dating another guy during a break in your relationship. Being on a break doesn't mean going out and seeing other people, it just means having some time to yourself. It sounds like she wants a breakup but is trying to keep you there just in case her new relationships doesn't work out. And you don't deserve to be a second choice like that.
It would be better for you to cut off contact with her for awhile so that you can move on from her. The longer you stick around, the longer it's going to hurt. She's basically taking advantage of you, and you should be with someone who actually wants to be with you.

[PSY]

I love it when people say, "this guy/girl is a jerk, but I'm not ready for 'us' yet." Essentially, it means your ex-girlfriend knows NEITHER of you are right for her - and she doesn't want to admit it. She wants to look like she's got her act together, she knows exactly what she's doing and what she wants, etc. Personally, I'd move on. Even if she DID get back together with you, it would only be a matter of time before she moved on and found someone else. I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I was in a very similar situation two years ago. The whole "break" thing doesn't work in these cases. When someone knows they're dating a jerk, but they don't 1) end it, or 2) get back together with you, it's a sign that they haven't found an adequate third option yet. They're stuck in limbo until that third option presents itself... which usually means being single for a while, getting their head screwed on straight, and THEN finding the right person (which, sadly, is rarely the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, aka you).

[MrJSO]

Thanks for the advice! And you're right about "looking like she has her act together"

Thanks for the help! And I will move on, just takes time. What if she does come back, should I just push her to the curb and just go?

[Eternal]

It's up to you. You can block her from your phone, Facebook, etc. to prevent her from contacting you that way, and if she tries to talk to you in person you could just kind of ignore her. It will probably be easier on you if you do do that, although you might want to give her an explanation first and let her know that you're ending it.

[happy123]

I agree with the posts above and Id say if she comes back, ignore her as moving on doesnt mean talking to her when she wants to. I dont mean that in a harsh way but from personal experience Id say that still talking just drags things out even longer. Eventually you will be able to be civil and maybe even friends but for now focus on yourself and getting over her

It sounds like she is trying to have her cake and eat it too- she doesn't know what she wants, but she wants to keep her options there in the hopes that she will be able to figure it out and still have someone to be with. This is unhealthy for everyone involved. A good saying I like (I'm paraphrasing here) is that if someone is really worth it they will make you a priority, not an option. It sounds like that's not happening here. Maybe it's just something for you to think about.

[SamMarie]

As others have said, your best bet is to unfortunately let her go. I am sorry to bear the utter truth, but you do not want to continue a relationship with someone that's playing games with your heart. It just isn't necessary and it's immature. It seems that this was sudden and you can do much better. As for now, take this as a life lesson and experience. Good luck!