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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Thoughts On Dating Friends? - November 23rd 2012, 09:29 PM

Sorry, this is going to be a big post. You can just skip to the last paragraph.

What's your thoughts on dating friends? I made a new friend a few weeks ago and she is amazing. She's nice, outgoing, funny, cute, actually cares about what I have to say, also loves Kandinsky (best abstract painter EVER!), has a phobia of balloons popping just like I do...etc. A few weeks into school, I noticed her for the first time after she felt my hair (she wanted to see how soft it was). I got these overwhelming butterflies in my stomach. My first thoughts were, "She's really cute." So anyways, we became friends after weeks of me awkwardly greeting her.

I'm really relaxed around her now. She came over to my house last weekend and we played Monopoly, built part of a gingerbread kit, watched an episode of The Walking Dead, and she stayed for supper and watched the Avengers movie (then we google imaged paintings by abstract artists I like). She started coming to my school the last couple months of grade 10 because she was being harassed at her previous school. I asked her on Facebook about her "Interested in men and women" thing. She told me she's bi, but prefers girls, and said she feels as though she's not attracted to them whatsoever. When she came out to a couple of friends at her old school, it turned out they were homophobes. Then the rumors started... So anyway, she has a boyfriend. I don't think she's ever dated a girl before (nor have I).

So anyways (that was pointlessly long), if I ended up having feelings for her and vice versa, would it be a bad idea to date? I have never dated before, kissed, etc, so I don't know very much. Like, I see her as a friend, but I know I could easily see her as more. I haven't felt this open with someone for a long time. If we did date, then broke up, could things go back to the way they were before? By dating, I mean hanging out, taking her to a fancy restaurant, kissing...but that's it. No sex or anything. So anyways, what's your thoughts?
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Re: Thoughts On Dating Friends? - November 23rd 2012, 09:51 PM

You are the only one who knows what you want. If you two are really close, it would ruin your relationship if you two dated and broke up. I would talk to her, and kind of hint at it. If she hints at it also, then, if you want to, you two can become something. Think about what will happen after your relationship though, and ask yourself if you're willing to risk it. I dated my best friend(he was a guy but still), and we dated for about a year. I loved being with him while we were together, and afterwards we were still friends, but not as close. I hope this helped, good luck. Know that you're always welcome to contact me if yo want to talk or ask any questions


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Re: Thoughts On Dating Friends? - November 23rd 2012, 10:09 PM

Okay, thanks! I actually mean it. On a completely unrelated note, do friends cuddle? Only one of my friends will cuddle with me (no, I'm not a cuddler, but I sometimes enjoy it).
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Re: Thoughts On Dating Friends? - November 23rd 2012, 10:41 PM

I cuddled with my girlfriend all the time before we got together (it was my way of flirting with her). And she was my friend xD but not anymore~


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Re: Thoughts On Dating Friends? - November 24th 2012, 01:08 AM

I moved this to Relationships & Dating because I feel as if it would be best suited there.

Just because the two of you are friends doesn't mean that you can't have a good relationship with each other. You two can still have an awesome relationship, but just be prepared for any risks that may be involved with be breaking up, such as it affecting the friendship. But, even if you do break up, the two of you can still remain friends. If you decide to pursue a relationship, this should be something you discuss so you can be on the same page.

But, sometimes friends do cuddle. I have a friend who I cuddle with sometimes, but we have a completely platonic friendship, and aren't planning on entering a relationship any time soon.


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Re: Thoughts On Dating Friends? - November 26th 2012, 03:57 AM

I just got out of a relationship with my best friend. Going into the relationship we both discussed if we wanted to risk the friendship and ended up agreeing on the relationship by deciding that no matter what we were remain friends. While it is weird that we are broken up now, and yes we were both hurt by the break up we still talk everyday and are there for each other. It all depends on the people. For me it worked to date my best friend, but for some people it ruins the friendship. What ever you choose to do, make sure you talk it out with her. If you go into a relationship you may want to talk about the possibility of breaking up before you get together.

Good luck!
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