online dating

[Always *]

Hey, so I have been having trouble meeting guys in my city (literally haven't had a boyfriend in a bit OVER 2 years, a date in 2 years and haven't had sex for a year)... Now I have a friend or 2 who think I need to like get on a dating site or something... But I can't do the casual sex thing, I got way to attached last year, and I just end up feeling bad. I don't want to deal with that again. I am a relationship person. End of story.

But the problem is that places that are free like Plenty of Fish have SO MANY unregulated trolls.... But I am unsure if it is worth my time to pay for a site (such as Match or eHarmony)... I don't really want to have to go through some stupid BS of "fill out these 100 questions and pick one of the 5 potential answers" because I don't see how that is beneficial, as if we're all that generic... But sites that do that (and assuming they're like eHarmony and you gotta pay) will they eventually let you fill out a customized profile? Any info on good sites and all would be great.

Also, I sort of feel like a loser for even considering this, it's just that I don't really get out much. I go to the gym, bike, play sports and go to school (I also volunteer and such but that isn't getting me far either), not to mention that I am NOT doing any of that stuff to meet a guy/gal. Also, I am bisexual, and a lot of the dating sites you have to pay for don't seem to have considered bisexuality as a possibility, only straight up hetero/homo-sexuality. So how do I handle that? What should I do? Try it? Stay away? Pay? Free? Good sites etc. Please lemme know.

[Brandon]

I did OkCupid, and I've had success. Still dating my girlfriend for over a year now. There's options on OkCupid to signify that you're bisexual, and you can limit your search options to men or women. I haven't encountered any trolls. And even if there were trolls, the worst that could happen is you ignore them or whatever. I talked to my girlfriend for over a month before we actually went on our first date, and trolls usually aren't that dedicated.

However, just like meeting strangers in real life...be cautious.

[Guile]

Originally Posted by Brandon

I talked to my girlfriend for over a month before we actually went on our first date, and trolls usually aren't that dedicated.

Originally Posted by Brandon

and trolls usually aren't that dedicated.

Originally Posted by Brandon

trolls usually aren't that dedicated.

Originally Posted by Brandon

trolls aren't dedicated.

Disagree.

But seriously, OkCupid is a really great site, there's a good number of people, and you can answer questions about yourself that can help give you a "match %" with another person.

[Always *]

What about pictures though and overall safety? Trolls could easily get all this private information about you (pictures, cities... school?). Isn't that, like, hugely dangerous? Like that's sorta what freaks me out about the whole free dating site bit. I know it would be SO easy to sign up for one, but I am petrified of THOSE people, I know people can hack my email and Facebook and shit, which would also be bad, but those accounts ARE private (you have to be my friend to get access to my info on Facebook, I know my network which is my school AND my profile pic is available but still).... Am I being unnecessarily paranoid? Cause I know a lot of people have success with these sites.

[Daivia]

Use a fake email to signup if you're that worried, and don't include your name in your username. As for pictures, the only picture I ever posted that someone identified was a hiking trail that is pretty popular for my town. If you don't want your pics to be identified, take a picture of yourself at a park across town or on vacation.

As for trolls, I have gotten the odd request for a threesome, being bisexual myself. But that is why OkCupid made a block user button.

[Guile]

Originally Posted by bumble bee

What about pictures though and overall safety? Trolls could easily get all this private information about you (pictures, cities... school?). Isn't that, like, hugely dangerous? Like that's sorta what freaks me out about the whole free dating site bit. I know it would be SO easy to sign up for one, but I am petrified of THOSE people, I know people can hack my email and Facebook and shit, which would also be bad, but those accounts ARE private (you have to be my friend to get access to my info on Facebook, I know my network which is my school AND my profile pic is available but still).... Am I being unnecessarily paranoid? Cause I know a lot of people have success with these sites.

You're being extremely paranoid.

Think about it, if I wanted to stalk and assault or whatever someone, why would I choose you? I could just as easily step outside and pick someone, why would they go through all the trouble of going through the internet?

[Always *]

Haha... I guess that's a good point lol... So... OKCupid is a good idea? And can you delete your account, say I lose interest or get a bf or what ever?

[Daivia]

Yes. You can hide your account or you can delete it. It's all very easy.

[Always *]

What about my email though? Can I choose what to make visible to people?

[Daivia]

No one has your email on OkCupid except the administrators.