Dating Sites

[jolly123]

Hello, I am 20 years old, nearly 21 and I am single and sick of it!! I've decided I want to try to do something about it and thought about maybe joining some dating sites, but know nothing about any of them. Can anyone help me or give me advice on this please?

I know this sounds really desperate, but I have just had enough of being single. Thanks

[Daivia]

I really like OkCupid. It's free and I've had a lot of success with it.

[Brandon]

I met my girlfriend on OkCupid, so I'm going to highly recommend that dating service -- not just because it's free, but because I've had some pretty good success. The first woman I decided to go on a date with is the woman I've been dating for over a year now. Signing up for OkCupid was an act of desperation, but it's probably the best decision I've made in my life.

There's a couple things you need to understand about dating services, however:

1. There's probably a valid reason why people have signed up for dating services. The reason could be because they don't have any success with people in real life, they have emotional problems, they can't get a boyfriend/girlfriend in reality, etc. The reason could be good, but it could also be a bad reason. If you want a physically attractive woman, or someone of a higher quality than what is realistic, then you have to understand that the higher the quality...the less chance you're going to get messages back from them. So if you message a woman and don't get a response, that doesn't mean that you're ugly or anything...that means that you aren't her type and she isn't interested. On OkCupid, your profile will probably already say enough for people to get a decent idea on whether you're dating material or not, so don't be upset if things on OkCupid go slow. You don't need every woman to message you or message you back...you just need to find a woman with similarities, start a conversation, be persistent, and hope that she'll get interested.

2. If you're afraid of being judged for using a dating service, don't be. It's an act of desperation, but that doesn't mean you're desperate. In reality, using a dating service is a very intelligent thing to do because you're searching for men/women on a WIDE scale, eliminating people who don't have your personality while focusing on the people that do. Dating services are just like talking to people in real life...the only difference is that you don't waste a date talking about things you have in common, but spending 30 minutes on their profile reading about them. And even if it was desperate, who cares? I've been in love with a beautiful woman for a year now, and I'm happy. If what I did makes me desperate, I don't give a fuck because it happened to be a good decision. The reason why people may be iffy about dating services is the concern for your safety. However, just like real life...when you meet people you don't know, you run the risk of putting yourself in danger. The first date, regardless of whether it's a man or woman, needs to be public and you need to be cautious. Other than that, the reason why people may be iffy about dating services is because they don't really understand the true concept of it and how effective it potentially is.

3. The first thing you do when you meet someone on a dating service, just like in real life, is you need to be extremely clear about your intention. Some people are on dating services just for one-night stands, threesomes, making friends, etc. You don't want to try dating people who aren't interested in dating because you run the risk of hurting yourself down the road. The person you want to pursue needs to want a committed relationship...otherwise, lack of communication could result into bad consequences.

I've had great success with dating services, but the important thing to know is that it may take time to find someone who is willing to go on a date with you, but remember...my girlfriend was the first woman I went on a date with that I met on a dating service...I've rejected a couple, I've been rejected, but the wait is worth it.

Good luck!

[Guile]

Out of three girlfriends (one being current), I met two of them on OkCupid.

I highly recommend the site, especially if your standards aren't absurdly high like mine!

Overall though, the site works very well, and there certainly has a mix of people. Depending on where you are, you'll meet normal people based on your area, it's pretty "non-desperate", but be prepared for a lot of guys sending "Hey, sup?" messages, and looking for sex if you're a girl. It's basically like normal life! :bleh

I'd only date a girl (and do) who is up to my standards (blonde, tall, thin, etc.) so it took awhile to find one, but there were plenty of reasonably attractive and average looking girls, sure it'll be difficult to find that "perfect" girl, but there out there, I found one! If you want advice on writing messages to people, don't send a short one, but don't make it really long, be yourself, don't exaggerate, and answer the match questions. Try and relate yourself to her in some way when sending a message, say mention one of the bands she listed as liking, or a movie, try and use some humor in both your profile and message, but don't overdo it. For example I said "Besides for being a raging egomaniac I consider myself a pretty amazing person!" just work some humor in, but don't go overboard. Definitely don't compliment her on her looks in the first day or so of messaging, pretty girls get compliments all the time, be the guy who says "You watch Tarkovsky films too?" not the millionth guy who said "Man you're really pretty".

Send me a message if you want some help writing your profile.

Ohh side note, never say "Hey" in a message, pick something that stands out like "Heya!"

Talk about yourself on your profile, don't brag, be honest, but sound interesting, do you have any (non-lame) talents, or interests? I didn't mention that I have $500 of Dungeons and Dragons books on my profile, I mentioned that I have my Black Belt in Taekwondo, that I'm in the Marine Corps, etc. If you see a girl who mentions she likes a similar nerdy activity, then mention it. Don't get discouraged, I sent 10 messages for every one reply I got, but you should only need one girl

[Daivia]

Yes, as a female I get a lot of of visitors and messages, at least half from people who can't read looking for a hook-up. But this week I actually met someone nice, in person no less. I had a good time just getting to know them at a park across from the library.

Yes, little details can really help when start conversation. For example, I have the number of books I've read this year (55) along with the pages (19,175), as well as non-sequitor that simply states Crows>Faeries. I also list the webcomics I read, because a common interest in webcomics can help tell you what a person is interested in a general sense (action, storyline, humor, etc etc).