I cheated on my girlfriend with my bestfriends girlfriend

[Mw_]

Hi, I am new so I don't know if I'm doing this right. But a couple nights ago (2) I was at a party just some close friends and we were all drinking. Now before I continue I've been with my girlfriend for not even 2 months and my buddy has been with his for 8 months. I met my buddies girlfriend during detention and we started shooting the sh*t I left there with the feeling that I may already be into this girl we hangout and she got my buddy's number off me because we all took the same bus and what not well I came to the desision I did like this girl and I told him all about it ( me and my buddy have been best friends since grade 9 we are 18 and just graduated) well I come to soon find out that they started dating behind my back and he was honest about it soo.. But in the past probably grade 10 I liked this girl and the same buddy ended up dating her to so I at this point have some kind of grudge on him...anyways at the party we all got pretty sh*t faced and she got mad that he did something and went and took his alcohol from her house and we drank all that to me and 2 other friends end up staying the night at her house one passed out me and my friend from the party were up ( keep in mind me and my buddy's girl turned into bestfriends quickly and had a harmlessly flirty friendship) so me and my friend are still up and my buddy's girl walks downstairs and says she needs to talk to me and she will be on the back porch so I went to see what was going on and. Asked her "what's up" and she's says "this" and kisses me I stopped for a second and looked at her and for a minute all those feelings came back so I kissed her and we started making out and we ended up leaving the porch so we wouldn't get caught and we both told each other we r not having sex well after neck kissing and feeling around and stuff one thing led to another (cliche I know) and we had sex... I won't lie it was such a rush and was so amazing. She tells me the next morning she needs to tell her boyfriend so I met up with my girlfriend and told her and she told her boyfriend the same day when he got back from his camping trip. I talked to him and to say the least he wants me dead, he stayed with her and my girlfriend stayed with me but I lost my best friend, trust from my girlfriend and the girl from that night sh I considered my bestfriends as well won't talk to me. I'm not going to blame the alcohol because I knew what I was doing. And the situation is pretty much delt with but I don't know what to do I lost him and a group of friend.... Some people are happy for me because he doesn't treat her right at all but I just don't know what to do how to handle it ... I know this is very long but if anyone took the time to read it all please try and give me advise or opinions maybe.

[BECCALICIOUS!]

Hey, welcome to TeenHelp!

I can definitely understand where you're coming from... I cheated on my boyfriend, and we've been recovering from it, so I understand how shitty it is to be in that position. As far as regaining your girlfriend's trust and your best friend's friendship... it's going to be hard to earn it back, I won't lie. It's definitely possible. I read a lot of articles online to see what I could do, and I dealt with all the consequences of that lack of trust: my boyfriend checking in on me more often, not letting me hang out with guys alone, and even some of his emotional breakdowns. We also went to couples' counseling together which helped a lot. It's possible to heal. I do think you need to apologize to both of them, if you really want to keep them in your life.

As far as your friends go, well, your drama isn't their business. I'll be honest about that. But I think they might be skeptical. This guy was your best friend and you -- in their eyes -- really screwed him over. How can they trust you won't do that to them? I'm not saying it's true at all, but I guess I'm trying to portray their general mindset.

I really hope this helps and good luck in dealing with everything.

[gymnastxxLeah]

Hey!
Welcome to TeenHelp!

I just want to say that I've been there... I had a boyfriend and i cheated on him with one of my best guy friends... My boyfriend and I broke up, although i wouldn't say it's directly because of that...

The thing is, it sounds to me like she started it... I know it sounds immature, but she kissed you. Yeah, you should've stopped. You made a huge mistake. But it's just as much her fault as it is yours. If your friend can find it in his heart to forgive her, then he has to forgive you too... Because you guys have been friends sice 9TH GRADE!!! it's been YEARS of friendship. He's only been dating her 8 months. It sounds to me like the only reason he's NOT just as mad at her as he is at you ... Is because he doesn't want to be mad at her. I think he just doesn't want to lose her, so he blames you... Give him time to cool off, and then try to slowly build back a friendship. apologize.

As for your girlfriend... She's hurt! You betrayed her! A lot of gurls would've left you... But she stayed. So she must like you. But you can't expect her to trust you straight away! You hurt her! of course she doesn't want to trust you when you betrayed her trust... It's going to take time. You just gotta stay faithful. Try to move on from this. You need to give her time though...

Look, I'm not going to lie. You made a mistake. what you did was wrong. And honestly, is i were your girlfriend, i'd WANT you to feel a little guilty. You sorta deserve to, no offense.. however, I was ROTTING with guilt when i made the same mistake. And it just destroyed me. It's not helping anything to be SOOOO upset about it! So you feeling guilty is totally understandable... But don't feel too guilty, because thats obly destructive. the past is the past, and you can't change that. So don't beat yourself up too much. Instead of reflecting on the past, focus on rebuilding for the future.

[Chaos Theory]

Tell you what.

My girlfriend cheated on me and we are still together; although our relationship is on fragile terms. The wound she left in my heart is still festering and gives me pause everytime I think of her. Once you break someone's trust, you can't repair it completely- she will always be wary of you. It seems she initiated the encounter- yet there is absolutely no excuse for your behavior and your girlfriend is rightfully angry at you. Yet she decided to stay with you and give you a second chance. Coming from a victim of infidelity, it means you mean a lot to her and she isn't willing to let you go...yet. Don't fail her again- because the second betrayal is infinitely more painful.

You can do your best to earn her trust back- transparency helps. Allow her to inquire in detail of your actions and communications. Discuss why you commit this heinous act, and your means to curtail it. Give her reason and confirmation that staying with you is not going to lead to further heartbreak.

And of course, don't cheat, on or with. You should develop your emotional maturity to stay commit to the person who hold you so close to her heart, and the respect for other people's relationship. You should learn that cheating hurts, regardless of the capacity. If you are not ready for a relationship, don't waste her time.

I do not have any favorable opinion on cheating at all. However I am going to leave the judgement of your behavior to those who are involved; and there's where I am leaving it at.

[Jaguar]

It takes a while to learn that there has to be a lot of forgiveness in relationships if you want the relationships to last. What matters is the love you share with someone, not the mistakes one of both of you makes once in a while.