on "break" with girlfriend

[JKeighs.]

Well me and my girlfriend have been fighting for 2 days straight and shes about to go on vacation in ohio for 2 weeks. so she said we might as well take a "break" on these two weeks. Then she continued to say were single. and she took a picture of the flowers i bought her burning and she alright is calling other guys babe to make me angry. i just called her and told her that for this 2 weeks we just be friends. Having normal conversations and promising to not make eachother angry or jealous. And when she gets back the she tries to work things out with me. What should i be planning to say to her when she gets back to go back out with her?

[Always *]

To me, when some one says they want a "break", ok, lets face it, that's a "break up" and to me it sounds as if she is aiming for a full fledged break up but just wants some a chance to clear her head and reevaluate and see if it is official. So you should prepare for the worst. Don't assume you'll get to keep her and be nice and all when you see her, try to make up for what ever you did wrong. It takes 2 to fight, so what ever part you have taken in the problem, whether your the victim or not, be responsible for it, and try to lead it back to a point where it's positive but don't force it cause it might already be to late

Just because you're on a "break" doesn't mean someone gets to treat you like crap. A break usually means you are not contacting one another for a certain period of time OR not interacting like you are in a relationship for a set period time.

If someone treats you that poorly you may want to consider ending things with them. If she is going to take pictures of the flowers you sent her burning I would say she has some real issues she needs to work on before she can be in a healthy relationship, and you deserve a healthy relationship with someone.

However, the decision is yours to make. See how it goes over the two weeks. When she comes back see what her behavior is like. If you think you two are in a manageable place and you feel comfortable giving it another chance, great. But if not, perhaps you should either set up some serious boundaries or end the relationship.

Whatever you do, don't just give in if she is acting all sweet again. If this relationship is something you find you want to continue something has to change, or else you're just going to get right back into the same spot. When one person changes in a relationship the other person has to respond to it. If you make a positive, strong change to be a healthy individual and stick with it, she is going to respond in some way or another. She will let you know which, and you will know where to go from there.

[Coffee.]

Hey there,

I'm one really not to agree with breaks. If things were working out, you wouldn't need a break. I also agree with everybody else about her behavior, and really, I don't think you should get back to her after these two weeks. My partner and I have gotten into fights, but never anything lasting more than a couple hours of anger, and we would never do anything as hateful as she's done. There are lots of girls out there, and with the way she's behaving, I promise you can find somebody better. You might just want to let her know when she gets back, you guys should remain just friends.

[Always *]

Exactly. She claims to want a break, ok, I think breaks are silly, especially when younger cause it usually equates to just adding the "up" and confirming it is over later. BUT she is also treating you like crap. Burning flowers you gave her and taking a picture? Come on that's dramatic and sort of cruel, if she didn't want them she should have thrown them out but she didn't need to set fire to them and rub it in your face.

You deserve better, moral of all this

[AngelWithASecret]

Hey there

My girlfriend and I were recently on a break and I was just as confused as you are now
Going on a break doesn't always necessarily mean completely breaking up However, by what you have said, I think that's probably what she's aiming for. Don't lose hope though There's a possibility she was just very angry at something

These 2 weeks will give both of you lots of time to think about your relationship. You might decide that you don't want to be with her anymore or you might decide that you do still want to be with her. Either way, when these 2 weeks are over, you need to ask her how she feels about this and where she thinks the relationship is going

My girlfriend and I had been fighting a lot before our break and that's why we decided to take one Since we've gotten back together, we have had barely any fights

I hope I've helped you in some way

[Maloo]

She's being a bitch... you don't deserve to be treated like that. I don't personally think it would be in your best interest to get back with her when she comes home.

[SamMarie]

I just have this feeling she is playing with your heart and likes the attention you're giving her. Let's face it...she doesn't care about you. What idiot says you need a break, acts like you're both single, burns flowers, and comes back wanting to act like nothing happened to begin with? This is common sense not to go back with her. She's not the girl you thought she was and that's that. I don't believe in breaks either. Break is just another form of let's break this relationship up and see what it's like being single again and then go back and make another controversial episode of what the hell you did while you had your "time off". It's just too much of an unnecessary adjustment. You are supposed to work the relationship by communicating, not being away from each other. So, my advice is, you don't deserve the treatment. You will let a lot of stress off your shoulders if you just let the girl go. She isn't serious to handle a lasting relationship with you and that happens. Good luck!

[milesbrody]

It sounds like she wants a reaction out of you. She took a picture of the flowers burning to hurt you because that was clearly a nice gesture on your part and she disrespected you by doing that. When you called her and didn't give her the reaction she wanted, which was that she wanted you to be mad/jealous, she realized that she wouldn't get that reaction went to plan B, which was making up. Or maybe she just got sick of playing games with your head. In my opinion, if you still want to be with her, then you need to tell her that she can't act like that because it will just push you farther away and you don't want to be disrespected like she has been doing.

[JKeighs.]

I finally got ahold of her without her hanging up or anything. And we decided this: Were still pretty much together. But no acting like it while shes gone cause she doesnt want any fights brewing. And no making eachother jealous or angry. And when she gets back were ganna bring us together again.