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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Im on a break with my girlfriend... I need advice - May 10th 2012, 11:01 AM

Hi everybody,

I'm a college student. I've been going out with a girl for a month now (seeing her for 2 months). She really really likes me and i really like her too. But we decided to take a break recently, as she was stressing out with her final exams and also, she's been out of a serious relationship of two and a half years, three weeks before I started seeing her (I didn't realise this at the start). She says she needs space to get over her relationship as it has just hit her out of the blue. She's pretty stressed at the minute.

We've talked about it and it all seems good. Except she is untagging pics of us on facebook. And im a bit upset by that. I want to know is this just her way of grieving and getting through this difficult stage. I said to her I wasn't going to text her, unless she contacted me first, out of respect. So im not just going to bring it up out of nowhere.

What way am I to take all this? Is there a future?

Last edited by durrow; May 10th 2012 at 11:06 AM.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Im on a break with my girlfriend... I need advice - May 10th 2012, 03:14 PM

From the sounds of it, a future sounds very dull for the two of you. She's been un-tagging photo's of the two of you, and a month into the relationship she wants to take a break. It sounds like she just isn't as into you as you are into her. Just wait until she's ready to talk to you. You said you were going to respect the fact she needs space, so when she's ready, bring up the topic then.











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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Im on a break with my girlfriend... I need advice - May 10th 2012, 06:09 PM

hm.... if she truelly is into you as you say, then perhaps she's just lost in the horrors of her last breakup... however, if she's not then it could be bad for you two. You really cant do anything about it... she may be suffering and she wants safe... so idk. I don't think you can do anything but wait until she texts you, sorry


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Re: Im on a break with my girlfriend... I need advice - May 10th 2012, 10:37 PM

Well, a 2 and a half year relationship is a huge thing just to walk away from with no repercussions even if she was the one who ended it. I can pretty much guarantee that from experience. Some people can move on really fast (seriously, I've had friends get new guys within a month) but you can't just jump into a new relationship after something like that and think it'll be ok with a lot of people (cause some people don't trust as easily and take a while longer to heal), a lot of people have to take to new guys for a few months even before starting a new relationship even for the kinds of girls who are very loving and trusting and hate being alone. You can know a guy is wrong and get out of a relationship but for everyone who ever had the slightest emotional attachment to it they need to heal.
She really may just need some time. It may be just that with the stress of exams on her she is now cracking and areas of her life are taking the hit. She might be realizing now that she wasn't as ready to move on as she thought and is trying to back out. She really might like you though, which is probs why she hasn't flat out ended it. But to be honest if things like this are happening so soon, it sounds like your a lot more certain of her than she is of you and that it isn't very promising.
But needless to say, just give her time, she'll come around when she is ready and decide what she wants to do.
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Re: Im on a break with my girlfriend... I need advice - May 22nd 2012, 01:25 PM

I think right now she may have just started thinking about her past relationship and is probably experiencing nostalgia from it. Which is probably why she already wants to take a break and is untagging pictures of you two. She probably misses her previous relationship.
The problem with this and her needing to take a break is that it sounds like she isn't quite ready to be in a new relationship yet which can cause big problems for your new relationship. When she contacts you again, you should have a talk with her about this and just see how she's feeling.


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Re: Im on a break with my girlfriend... I need advice - May 23rd 2012, 03:03 AM

Yes give her time. And i do hope everything works out for the best! <3


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Re: Im on a break with my girlfriend... I need advice - May 23rd 2012, 09:29 PM

It seems like she wanted a new relationship with you as a rebound. I could be wrong, but that sounds like what it is. She's still fresh with the break up and although she wants to start a new relationship with someone new, no one with a brain and a heart could really go out there to start a new relationship like nothing happened previously especially for that long. It's going to hurt and you're just going to have to accept that. Usually time is the only answer in this situation. You can not force her and although it is her fault she didn't tell you beforehand, you should understand she's still trying to mend a broken heart. Right now, she's going through a range of emotions which can lead her to things to do things like untagging pictures. The best thing is to leave her alone when she wants and just remind her that you're there for her if you need anything and nothing more. You could have a future once she collects herself, but it may take some time. If you have the patience, I can see a future. If you can't handle it, don't expect shortcuts. Just let it go then. Good luck!




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Re: Im on a break with my girlfriend... I need advice - May 23rd 2012, 09:37 PM

After three weeks is a very short period of time to begin a new relationship especially when the last one lasted two and half years.

How she feels about the end of the last relationship may just be starting to hit her/take effect on her now and she may need time to decipher how she feels about this relationship and if she's really ready to begin again or not.

Respect her situation, give her time, and then she should come to you and let you know.
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