Me and my girlfriend of 4 years on a break

[AshleyWard12]

Hi All!

Just need some help on my current situation with my girlfriend of the past 4+ years.

My partner and I have lived together for some time and like most couples have a few ups and downs. When its up its amazing. When its down it hurts. We are both in our early/mid 20's. Last year we had problems and a discussion about where we are going and we both felt we need to do more together. Go out more and such things as we both felt we were in a poor and boring routine and for a young couple didn't do as much as we should. We worked on it and well I felt things got better. We was out more having some good times along the way too. I even pulled a few cheeky sickys at work as the time was feeling good together.

The past few months (2-3 say) things started to slip in to the old way again. Although we have been active and continued to always go out we started to feel a bit distant.

The past couple weeks we have had a few problems/disagreements which lead to a talk last week. She approached me and said we need to talk (I feared the worse!). Being nervous when we sat to talk it was clear after not to long the problem is what I predicted of feeling distant from each other.

She said shes worried about us and said its so sad to see we seems distant after the years we have had together. She said if we continue like this now think how bad we could be next year. I agreed because she was speaking the truth there's no way around it. She then said she felt that after the problems last year we have gone up the back down. She said she doesn't know why we are so distant and that we obviously shouldn't be. She said would it help if we had a break? Or if I went to my folks for a while? I really didn't know what to say trying to take it all in.

We talk for a good few hours on and off about it saying what we felt. I told her I loved her dearly ( which of course I do) and said I will do what it takes to get this right and make it work. She said after last year and when we tried it didn't work so wanted to know what we could do differently this time.

I later suggested that maybe if maybe she did go to her folks for a bit and see each other 3-4 days a week it may make us appreciate each others company more and maybe get them feelings back when we see each other instead of just take each other for granted. She agreed.

Later that evening I said to her I want to make sure we are going to do this. Do it together, not just me wanting to do it both of us. I asked if its what she wants and if she wants to do it. She said yeah I do, I do.

The next day she went to her folks place. After serious thinking on my own I didn't know when to make the approach of meeting up. I decided to text her the day after to meet up the next day or something. She messaged back and said can we not leave it for a week or two?
I just replied calmly and said if that's what you want then ok, just I felt we agreed to see each other a few times a week and thought we should make a start. She replied, I'd rather wait for a bit I'm sorry.

I understand she may want space but its of course hard cause I want to get this right and make it work.

What do I do next?

Its been a few days since we had the discussion together and naturally I miss her so much (more so maybe cause I know we aren't perfect at the moment) and really want to see and talk to her! It also hurts she hasn't made contact but again I kind of understand.

Its hard I feel I'm paranoid at times and always thinking negative thoughts then positives thoughts a split second later.

We also agreed last year to move flats and she said to me "Will that ever happen? We spoke about it last year and here and there and done nothing about it". This is something I really want to do and didn't speak much about it as I was saving for it as well as a holiday we have booked (which may now be cancelled as we have on paid a deposit and she did mention this). Do I try push this a little?

Any advice for me would be amazing guys!

Help me save the love of my life!

Many Thanks,

Ashley.

[Choose]

Hey Ashley, first of all it sounds like you have been working hard to make this right. Is she doing the same thing? It seems like you two just need to get on the same page as far as what you expect from each other and where you see things going and communicate effectively. Something too that I think you should keep in mind is that for a long-term relationship there will always be periods of dullness. You can't have that romantic, passionate intense love forever. It will change and that romantic element will pop in here and there when the moment is right, and it seems like you want to make it work. You just need to find out where she stands on the whole thing.

Best of luck,
Alex

[♥Bliz]

I'm no relationship wiz, idk really, i've never so much has been on a date, so if you want to, go ahead and ignore me. But one thing I think you should do...... make it big! Win her heart a second time, you know? Think of something amazing, a night to be remembered.... and invite her for your visit, and say maybe something small if thats all she likes, then show her some great time... tell her how much she means to you, talk, alot... see all her worries, explain yours and work past them, be connected, work together, just love on her.... and make the stars shine for her and see the wonder. I hope all works well Ashley, GL ♥