Friendship and Forgiving

[Mel]

Article featured in Avatar - Volume 1, Issue 6 (November 2007).

Friendship and Forgiving
by .Infinity. (Mel)

In your lifetime you will meet many people. Within these people you meet, you will often befriend someone. Sometimes during a friendship you may have a few disagreements, which at some point may cause arguments. These arguments can be small, but at other times they can be fairly large. While sometimes the argument may end quickly, at other times it may never end. Never-ending arguments aren't very good, and they can often cause a lot of unneeded stress. Avoiding these kind of arguments is always a good idea.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a great thing; it often gives you inner peace. Forgiving somebody is much better than holding grudges. Maybe you had a heated argument about something small, maybe it was something big, but forgiveness is possible for most things. When you forgive somebody you basically "bury the hatchet". This means that you no longer dwell on what has happened, and you try to take a step forward. Usually when you forgive somebody, depending on the case, either one person or both say sorry. Saying sorry doesn't mean that you're weak, it actually takes a lot of strength and courage to apologize.

Forgiveness don'ts

When going about forgiving somebody, you need to work out the problem. Here are a list of things that you should not do while trying to work it out.

Don't:

- Start where you left off.
- Try to push all of the blame on the other person.
- Get angry again.
- Say anything that may cause the argument to flare up again.

Basically, it's best that you do anything possible to avoid another argument from happening. Remember, you're trying to settle this, not make it happen all over again.

Do's

When you're ready to forgive somebody, there are things that you should do. Here are a list of things that are useful for settling an argument.

Do:

- Apologize.
- Talk it out calmly.
- Listen to what the other person has to say.
- Try your best to let it go.

You should generally try to have an open mind while trying to work it out. Always talk calmly to the person, and listen to what the other person has to say as well. Remember to apologize if you did anything wrong. Apologies go much further than denial. You need to try to let go of whatever started the argument so that you can move on and continue with the friendship again.