Friends and Family of Those Suffering From a Mental Illness

[Mel]

Article featured in Avatar - Volume 2, Issue 11 (May 2009).

Friends and Family of Those Suffering From a Mental Illness
by LaFin

Having a family member or friend living with mental illness can be hard at times, but there are some ways to make things easier and improve communication. It’s hard to know what someone else is going through, especially in respect to mental illness, but you can try to educate yourself on the subject, be caring and understanding and at the same time help them to stand on their own two feet.

There are some things that apply to most mental illness that can make things easier.

• Your friend or family member is like any other person, so treat them as such unless they request otherwise.
• If they take medication and are prone to forgetting when to take it, give them subtle reminders.
• Research and learn about the illness your friend has. Knowledge is half the battle. Also, try to imagine yourself in his or her shoes. If you have trouble imagining what they might be going through, ask them to help you to understand.
• Accept your friend as they are, and don’t try to “fix” or change them.

Sometimes specific disorders also have specific actions you can take to ease any tension on your relationship. A few common disorders are:

Please Note: This is not an extensive list of actions that may be taken. Because every individual is different, different points will apply to different people.


Bipolar Disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_affective_disorder)

• It is very important that people with this disorder continue to take their medication, and sometimes they just need a reminder or some encouragement to continue in their pharmaceutical therapy. Don’t be afraid to help someone take their medication on time and as instructed.
• Often people with Bipolar Disorder are misunderstood as “crazy” or unstable. Be supportive and break this stereotype.
• When your friend is depressed, be there for them. Let them know they are not alone, and ask them if they’d like you to get them some help. Remind them that you’re only a phone call away if anything comes up.
• If, while depressed, your friend becomes suicidal, don’t hesitate to take them to the hospital or call 911. Suicidal thoughts and actions are a serious risk and should be taken as such.
• If your friend is manic and you know how to reach their psychiatrist, it would be a good idea to contact them and inform them that your friend might need a slight change in their medication.
• If, while manic, your friend is taking risks that are endangering either their own or someone else’s life, you should either contact their psychiatrist or call 911. If your friend is psychotic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosis), you should call 911 because they may need to be admitted to the hospital for their own protection.

Schizophrenia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia)

• Be understanding of your friend and don’t give in to stereotypes. People with schizophrenia are not more prone to violence, they don’t have split personalities, etc..
• Like with Bipolar, people with Schizophrenia sometimes think that when they stop having symptoms they’re recovered and stop taking their medication. It would be a good idea to check up on them if you have a feeling they may have stopped, but don’t be overbearing and controlling.
• If you think your friend has stopped taking their medication or is relapsing back into their illness, let their psychiatrist know.
• People with Schizophrenia are not any less intelligent than you or I.
• Try not to encourage any delusions your friend may be having. For example, if they think that people are out to get them, don’t joke around and say someone has been following them around.
• Don’t be angry at your friend for firmly believing their delusions; it’s not their fault.

Depression (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder)

• Don’t tell your friend to cheer up, be happy, or get over it. Understand that depression is a mental illness and that someone can’t simply “get over it”.
• If your friend is suicidal, let someone know or call 911. Suicidal gestures or threats should always be taken seriously regardless of how many times they might have happened before.
• If your friend hasn’t spoken to a professional, (a doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist), encourage them to do so. Professionals are trained to help and assess what your friend needs to be able to recover properly and quickly.
• Sometimes people with depression can hallucinate or have delusions. If your friend is suffering from either of these, contacting their doctor or informing a trusted adult should be considered for your friend’s safety.
• Often, those suffering from depression will feel guilty or sad for little or no reason. If this is the case, things that seem little like staying on the phone with them even if nothing is being said is comfort and support enough to help them continue on.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessi...lsive_disorder)

• Don’t try and force your friend to stop performing their compulsions. Instead, try and understand why they have them and how you can help.
• Understand that OCD isn’t simply performing compulsions; there is also an obsession component to the disorder, as well as anxiety.
• If there are things you can do to help reduce your friend’s anxiety, such as putting things in a specific place after you’re done using them, try and do them.
• Lots of times people with OCD are embarrassed or ashamed of their compulsions, so try and think of things you can say to offset this attitude. It’s nothing they can control after all.
• If you know your friend has a time consuming compulsion, try and plan for this so that they don’t feel responsible if you’re late for something.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-tr...tress_disorder)

• It’s common for people with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) to have specific triggers that will cause them to have a flashback. Try to learn what your friend’s triggers are so you can avoid them, which will make life easier for both you and them.
• While your friend is having a flashback try and be comforting, don’t do anything threatening, and don’t try and force them to move somewhere more convenient or to hold it in. If, during flashbacks, your friend is very sensitive to being touched and prefers you don’t do it, don’t ask questions, just don’t do it.
• PTSD is caused by traumatic experiences, and it’s not uncommon for people to try and be understanding by asking what happened. If your friend doesn’t feel comfortable talking about it, don’t push the subject. Your friend will open up if and when they feel comfortable doing so.
• Your friend might avoid specific areas or activities because they are triggering to him or her. If your friend doesn’t want to do something, don’t try and push them or convince them to do it.

Anxiety Disorders (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder)

• People with Anxiety often worry and over analyze situations, so try not to say or do anything that can cause them to worry more than they need to.
• If your friend is prone to panic attacks, learn how to recognize when they’re about to have one. When you think they might be having one, try to remove whatever is causing them to panic, take them to a safe comforting place and try and talk them through the attack.
• If your friend is only anxious about specific things and they avoid them, don’t try and force them into a situation they’re not comfortable with. It’s true that to overcome an anxiety they’ll need to face that anxiety, but you’re not a doctor and you can’t be sure if they’re ready for this or not. Try and support your friend, not “fix” them.
• It is often easier for people with anxiety disorders to do things with a friend. If your friend asks you to go somewhere with them because it would make their anxiety more bearable, try and do so. It’s not easy for them to ask, and it shows a lot of trust from them to ask you.

Borderline Personality Disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderl...ality_disorder)

• Individuals with this disorder are prone to having mood swings: having their mood change from normal to depressed, angry, or anxious for very little reason. Understand that this is always a possibility, so try not to take it personally.
• People with BPD are also prone to self harm. Some do it as a means to manipulate others, while some don’t. If your friend does this, don’t be angry at them, scold them or tell them you’re disappointed in them. This will only make things harder for both of you.
• If your friend has BPD they could be very sensitive to what’s said around them. They could be hurt or enraged by something that has little or nothing to do with them, which is where the expression “walking on eggshells” comes from. Don’t lie to make them feel better, but try to word things in a non-threatening manner.
• People with BPD often have split thinking; they either view someone as very good or bad, with nothing in between. Sometimes your friend could think very highly of you, and later they could see you as threatening or bad. This can happen for little or no reason, but don’t try and force your friend to like you again, just try and wait it out.
• Suicide threats are common in BPD and whether or not you think your friend is being serious, you should let someone know every time your friend seems suicidal. Tell their doctor, parents, or call 911 when a situation like this arises.
• Individuals with BPD are prone to having other disorders in conjunction with their BPD including but not limited to eating disorders, Bipolar Disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, and Dissociative Disorders.

Eating Disorders (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_disorder)

• People do not have eating disorders because they want to. You can’t force them to recover; it takes therapy and the help from trained professionals. Don’t try and force your friend to eat food, talk down to or scold them if they don’t feel like eating, although don't be afraid to offer affirmations or words of encouragement.
• If they aren’t seeing a doctor yet, try and convince them to see one. If it would make it easier, offer to go with them and help explain the situation to the doctor. If your friend refuses to go and you feel that they’re risking their health with their actions, go to the doctor yourself and let them know your concerns about your friend.
• A lot of the time people don’t realize they have eating disorders. If you suspect that your friend may be suffering from an ED, the best thing you can do is talk to them.
• People with eating disorders can be very sensitive to referrals to weight or food, so keep from talking too much about these with your friend. Things like “If only I was a few sizes lighter” might seem innocent, but can have a very negative effect on the mindset of a person with an ED.