Finding a therapist

[TeenHelp]

Finding a therapist
By Cassie (Cassado)

Finding a therapist that is the right fit can be a challenging and daunting task for many people. Factors such as the type of therapist, their credentials, and areas they specialize in have to be taken into consideration. This article will discuss the process of finding a therapist that is right for you.

Know what you need

Know what kind of therapist and treatment you're interested in. For example, you might be interested in DBT (dialectal behavioral therapy) to work on different coping skills or maybe you'd like to process your trauma with approaches such as EMDR (eye-movement desensitizing reprocessing). If you do not know what you need, think about what you're struggling with and about what treatments may benefit you. Knowing what kind of treatment you're looking for should help narrow down your search. Some search engines such as Psychology Today let you tick off different boxes to find matches that best suit you.

Consider thinking about what you need from a therapist. Do you need someone who will be gentle and slow, or do you need a strict person who will help push you out of your comfort zone? Remember that what you prefer in a therapist versus what you need could be two different things.

Think about what else is important to you. Maybe you don't like being serious and you need someone who will laugh with you to make therapy work seem lighthearted. Perhaps you need someone who has a lot of patience or someone who allows out of session contact.

Knowing what you need early on can help you get a better idea of whether or not a therapist is a good fit for you.

Contacting a therapist

While you can contact many therapists through a phone call, some are open to email. When contacting a therapist, give the bare minimum. Discuss what you're struggling with and the type of treatment you're interested in. You can share other information at a later time.

If you decide to have a first session with a therapist, consider bringing a list of what you need from them and the treatment, as well as a list of goals you'd like to achieve. This will make it easier for you and the therapist to decide if the potential therapeutic relationship would benefit your progress.

Be aware that some therapists do not respond to emails or phone calls. Some do not respond because they are not taking new clients, while others may have poor management skills. Also know that some therapists can decide not to take you as a client after you've had your first few sessions with them. If that is the case, it is likely because they don't think they will be able to help you. Regardless, try not to get discouraged. If something doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be and a better therapist will come along in time.

Deciding if they are the right fit

If you feel comfortable, try to go to a few sessions before you decide if you want to continue working with the therapist. While you can know early on if you and the therapist won't develop a rapport, you will likely need a little more time to make the determination. While you should give it time, do not give it too long, either. You can set a rule for yourself. For instance, you may make yourself go to three to six sessions before deciding whether or not you'd like to continue. When it is time to make that decision, trust your instinct.

If you don't develop a rapport with them, think about why that is. Do you have different personalities that would make it hard to work together? Do you feel the therapist is rude, sarcastic, or condescending? If your therapist is a female, is it hard because you want a father figure, or vice versa? Are you trying to replace a previous therapist or someone else in your life? Some of these reasons are things that can be worked on. For instance, if you are having trouble with a female therapist because you want a father figure, staying with her despite that can be therapeutic in itself; it can allow you to work on that underlying issue. If you do not develop a rapport with the therapist and feel as if it is something that can be worked on, give it a try. If not, find someone else if you are able to.

Some providers allow you to switch therapists, and even see multiple at a time. Definitely utilize that if it is available to you. If your therapist is not a good fit and you are unable to change, try to make the most of your time with them. For example, if you feel uncomfortable with one topic, try another. If you don't want to discuss your struggles with self-harm, ask them questions about different coping skills you can use for when you're feeling low. That way, you're discussing how you feel as a whole without going in too deep.

Be patient

It is normal for it to take a significant amount of time to find a therapist that you feel comfortable working with. You might see half a dozen therapists before you find what you're looking for. It can take a while to gain additional trust and comfort even when you do find someone. When you feel frustrated, try to be patient and don't give up. Finding the right therapist will make it worth the wait!