Living with a mental illness

[TeenHelp]

Living with a mental illness
By Chess ( *~Skittles Martinski~* )

It’s quite common for people with a mental illness to say they are suffering from it: “She suffers from depression” or “He suffers from bipolar” are phrases which sound familiar, but they may not be entirely accurate or helpful. This approach is fairly typical, but it’s also problematic. For many people with mental illness, a diagnosis can result in a declining sense of stability within their lives. They may fear that their mental illness will ‘control’ them or that they will not be able to keep it under control. Add into that the idea of ‘suffering from it’ and it’s easy for them to feel like victims, like they are ‘crazy’, or like their life is slipping through their hands. Part of treating a mental illness is mastering one’s thoughts, and this should start as soon as a diagnosis is given – or, even better, as soon as the symptoms start. A first step in this process is to recognise that it is in fact possible to live with a mental illness rather than suffer from it.

What’s the difference between ‘living with it’ and ‘suffering from it’?
For one thing, think about the negative connotations of the word ‘suffering’. It inspires images of dark places, feelings of coldness, a sense of hopelessness – which is, in effect, how it can feel to have a mental illness. It also implies that it is something to be endured, and that it is unavoidable. For someone with a mental illness, who may already be feeling hopeless and/or desperate, this is just going to add another layer of negative emotions. Now, think about the idea of living with it. Focus on that word – living. It conjures much brighter images of fun colours and laughter and warm light. Of course life isn't always like that, but it’s a good comparison. To live with it is to accept that it’s part of your life – but also that it does not ruin, control, or define you. Positive thinking gives control back to you, rather than the illness, and reminds you that you are more than your mental illness.

So how do I start living and stop suffering?
For a start, remember to adjust the phrasing, whether out loud or in your head. That simple act performs two functions. Firstly, it gets you out of any kind of 'victim mentality', reminding you that you have control over your thoughts. Secondly, it reinforces that control, because you have just changed your thoughts. And if you can do that, why can't you learn to live with your mental illness? Once you have started to adjust your thoughts like this, it's time to put it into action. Be mindful of your actions, and do everything with purpose. This means not letting life just pass by – it means making a deliberate choice and determining your own course. Having a mental illness does not exclude you from having a long, fulfilling, and, yes, even happy life. With every small action, such as accepting a social invitation when you feel depressed or going to an event even when you feel anxious, you are reinforcing the idea that you are in control. You don't need to be content with suffering – you can live.

What if I have trouble adjusting my mindset?
It can be quite difficult to alter the way you think, even if it will be beneficial in the end. There will be days when you do feel like you're suffering – and that's okay. You don’t have to be happy all the time, but you also don't always have to feel down. Life is full of highs and lows, which can be blocked or magnified by mental illness, but it's important and necessary to experience both. Take the bad days with the good and remember that whatever you’re feeling, it's okay. It can also help to remind yourself of what you can gain from mental illness. That isn't to say that mental illnesses are good – just that they aren't all bad. For example, you may feel a sense of pride when you do something that makes you anxious. You may feel accomplished when you do something despite being depressed. It's a little like seeing the silver lining – even in the metaphorical storm cloud of mental illness, there are points of life. Try to come up with some ways that mental illness has helped, or could help you to grow, and be grateful for it.

A diagnosis does not define you. It is part of you, but it is not the aspect you should use to guide you through life. You may be depressed, you may have anxiety, but they are not your defining traits. This means that you can make a choice not to suffer from them – you can choose to live with them. This means being deliberate with your actions and careful with your words, and not letting mental illness get the best of you. You are more than that, and the sooner you realise that, the closer you are to recovery.

However, there are situations in which positive thinking alone will not be sufficient, and in these cases it can be beneficial to seek out support in the form of a counsellor, therapist, or other mental health professional. It might also be helpful at times to use a hotline, a list of which can be found here. There is no shame in this, and it can help make the road to recovery a little less rocky.