Believe You are Good Enough

[Storyteller.]

Believe You are Good Enough
By Sara Westbrook

Sara Westbrook, one of TeenHelp's partners, has graciously shared this article on the value and importance of self worth in improving one's quality of life. She is a motivational singer, song writer, and speaker, and youth advice columnist who hopes to empower youth around the world. For more information on her mission, visit www.sarawestbrook.com.

Q: I’m really going through a lot and there’s no one I can talk to. I’m hating myself by the second. My self esteem, out of a 10, is like a 1. I just want someone to care about me. What should I do?

A: I want you to know that you ARE Important and that You Matter!!

Sometimes other people can’t always provide the reassurance and encouragement that we so want from them. Please always remember that because you were born- because you are here- it means that you matter and the world needs You!

Let me share something with you.

I didn't always believe in ME. I didn't always have the Confidence that I have chosen to have now. I worried so much about what others thought of me that I would cry myself to sleep every night. Sure I had great friends, but I always worried that maybe they didn't really like me or that I wasn't good enough. After attending life courses at a young age, I realized that when my Dad left without saying good bye, I had taken it personally. I made it mean that there was something wrong with me. I had decided to believe that I was not good enough. So I was always trying to be accepted by others to prove that I was good enough.

I was trying to fill the hole I had from my Dad leaving, by having loads of friends. I soon realized that no friend could fill this hole - this was something that had to come from me.

First, I needed to forgive my Dad for leaving and not telling me what was happening. (Forgiveness isn't saying what happened is okay, it is saying that I am no longer willing to carry around the pain and hurt any longer.)

After forgiving him, I now had to re-choose my belief about myself and what I made his leaving mean. I started to see that it was not that there was something wrong with me. It was that my Dad brushed everything 'under the carpet' instead of dealing with things. It was too scary for him. I started to see that even though I didn't like how my Dad handled leaving, in his mind he was doing the 'Right' thing.

It wasn’t easy to make the choice to change my outlook. Even though I didn't enjoy crying myself to sleep every night, I got used to it. I decided that I had enough of blaming my dad for how everything looked. I couldn’t change the circumstance but I certainly could change how I saw it. So I decided to use my UPower and make new CHOICES by:

WRITING:

• in my Journal about my pain, frustration and upset. I wanted to get all the 'poor me' stuff out.
• how I wanted to feel about my Life, my Dad and myself.
• the choices I would have to make in order to obtain my new outlook.
• what I needed to FOCUS on in order to love me and my life

Then

FOCUSING ON:

• the quality that I loved about my Dad - his humour (instead of focusing on the things that drove me crazy).
• the things that I loved about myself – my smile, my kind heart (even if you can only think of one or two things that is a good start).
• the things in my life that I was Grateful for (health, clothing, chocolate...

Every time my mind would start FOCUSING on my old way of thinking, I would steer it back to the things in my life that I am grateful for. Since I had them written down I could always look at that piece of paper if I ever forgot. Keep a piece of paper in your pocket, your wallet, your binder etc. of what you are grateful for.

I am not saying it’s easy. What I am saying is that you are worth it. Total self worth and self esteem happens by taking life 'One Good Choice at a Time!' This has been 'my Voice' but this is your life, this is 'your Choice'.