Problems of an mtf trans.

[Auxillary]

I usually keep to myself and not try and reach out to people for help with my gender identity, going school shopping is always depressing because I can never get or wear what Id like to wear, and even if my mother would let me get it I probably wouldn't wear it because I'd feel disgusted in myself if i seen myself in a mirror like usual, but also wanting to die because I wouldn't look like I belong in them either, I usually drown out the bad feelings by playing games online where I can be who I really want, all of this is my usual, happens a lot. But I asked my mom for wax strips to wax my legs, etc... I like winter because I can at least groom myself the way I like under my clothes. Because being hairy makes me feel disgusting and dirty, and here is how it went.

(exact words, I cant make myself forget about it.)

Me: Do you have any extra wax strips?
Mom: For your face? No
Me: No, for my legs.
Mom: Go on you freak.

My moms already knows I'm a mtf transgender but she acts like It's not part of me like if she ignores it it'd go away, I know she didn't actually mean what she said I'm just really upset over it and need someone to talk to.

[Daivia]

Well, I can't really help you with the shopping for clothes, except that buying clothes from secondhand stores is cheaper, more private, and sometimes gives you more selection.

In addition, if buying wax strips, or Nair is a difficulty, you could borrow your mother's razor (for her legs) to do your own... or you (presumably) shave your face, why not use that for your legs?