Trans FTM questions

[MaroonLove]

Hello All.
So I am a lesbian who is for some reason attracted to female to male transgender people. (I realize that messes with my sexual orientation label). Anyways I was wondering if there are any ftm's out there if you could answer a few questions. I'm having trouble connecting with ftm friends and partner. Any help would be appreciated. No gender preferred for the answerer. I understand the basics but I have questions about the more mental things. Such as..
How did you deciding to change genders
How was living your life before as the wrong gender
Things along those lines. Mucho Appreciation to anyone who helps

[Hiraeth]

Hi Kali!

There are certainly some FTMs who take a lot of offense to the idea of 'lesbians being attracted to them', as it somehow seems to imply that they are still female in some way. I've also seen a few such lesbians come to explain themselves as attracted specifically to people with vaginas (and gender isn't part of the picture) - which is much clearer and less likely to be misinterpreted, I think. If someone questions your sexual orientation or trans-sensitivity, be prepared to have an explanation - very important.

I haven't officially decided to transition (aka "change sex") yet, so I'm not sure how much help I'll be in those areas. But if you have a specific question, you're more than welcome to ask. Everyone is different, and there are a lot of testimonials out there on the internet that can give you a better idea if you're really keen on doing research, but the general consensus is the presence of relative discomfort/incongruousness as a female, and relative comfort/congruence as a male.

[Aeran]

Being FTM (as am I) is much more than a decision to change. Imagine that you woke up tomorrow morning and your breasts are gone, your body was covered in hair, and you had other noticeable changes to your *aherm* lower regions. You would freak out, wouldn't you? You would want to know what happened and where your body went, right? Being transgender is just like that EVERY SINGLE DAY. The emotional impact of being stuck in the wrong body, and nobody understanding, is a huge one. I fought tooth and nail to get my parents to understand that, despite my physical attributes, that I was a guy! My mother forced me into frilly dresses, and forbid me from taking shop class and playing football. I was stuck doing proper "girl" things such as home economics. It's hard, because NOBODY understands transgenders. Just like being gay 50 years ago was taboo, today being trans is taboo. It makes transitioning very hard. Dating for transgendered people is VERY HARD. Can you imagine walking up to a girl in a club and really hitting it off, only to find out that that cute girl you've been hitting on all night isn't really a girl? I think that's why transmen have such trouble dating lesbians. Think about all the surgeries that a transman must go through. All the torturous years of self-hate and social outcast for being nothing more than who you truly are... Then they find out that now, when they've finally become the man they were supposed to be all along, they're being hit on by someone who, in general, only hits on chicks. The last thing you want is to go through all that pain, just to think that you're still girly in any way. You'll find that a lot of transmen kind of... overplay their manliness because of this. If you want to hit it off with this guy, treat him like A GUY. Try and avoid using the word lesbian, or perhaps say that you're bi instead... It'll make him more comfortable, and you won't have any awkward explaining to do...

I hope all goes well for you, and I apologize for the long rambling shpeal, but I hoped that it helped in some small way...

[MaroonLove]

Much appreciation to both of you for the insight. The internet and Barnes and Nobles can only provide so much "personal" information.