Parental issues with a queer kid

Okay....! Still having major gender confusion. So basically while I was inpatient people called me Ashton, He/They. It felt so right. People at school do the same. But my issue is my parents. They've always called me Madison, She/Her, and made fun of my preferred names. A part of me wants to respect my parents and completely wipe away Ashton like he never existed, but the part of me who is Ashton just wants to break free and be himself. I really wish I could do what my parents wanted, but I don't know how. My dad said if I'm 16+ and I decide I'm a boy, that's one thing, but right now I'm too young apparently. I had a mental breakdown during school about my gender and cried to my favorite teacher about it. My best friend is in a similar situation to this, and he doesn't let that affect him and still goes by moss, he/him, and does what he wants with himself. I cut my own hair, bind, etc. Just to make myself feel happy. And it works, but my parents don't like it whatsoever. I get yelled at for wanting short hair, I get accused of shit when I wanna hide my chest or wear baggy sweatshirts(I also have a past of SH so ig it makes sense). I understand my parents are hugely uneducated about the trans community, so I get that it'd take some work to help them understand. But at the same time, I wish they'd be WILLING to learn instead of just making me hide myself. I am a transgender, bisexual, demisexual, boy, and that won't change no matter what my parents want, it will change if I feel it should change. I went through so many different labels and I found what makes sense for me, though my parents don't like it. I think it's right for me that I feel what fits me. My parents screamed at me for trying to express my boundaries to them the other day that they didn't like, so this journey will be difficult, and I need advice on how to be myself without making an issue for myself at the same time.

Thank you so much
Ashton<3

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

To be honest I lead two different lives. Around my parents I'm Desiree, She/Her, and around a lot of other people I'm Dez, They/Them. It all depends on safety. I don't feel safe coming out to my parents like that, so I don't. I'd say before you take any actions, make sure you would be safe in your own home. For example, if you started going by Ashton, He/Him at home would be there any dangers like the thread of violence, being treated poorly, or even kicked out? If so, I would wait to be fully out until you have a safe space to go if things turn south.

Do you think you could ask your best friend how he goes about things? You said he still goes by Moss and he./him, so maybe he'll have some advice on how he navigated things with his own parents and family.

[Mindfulness.]

Hi Ashton,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through at the moment. It can certainly be tough when you feel like your parents won't accept you for who you truly are and having to lead two different lives to please everyone.

Would you feel comfortable and safe having a conversation with your parents in regards to the transgender community? Sometimes a lack of education is hard for someone to understand.

But if you feel like talking to your parents won't work, getting advice from your friend may help you decide in what you can do if you wish to do anything at all.

If you ever need anything, feel free to reach out to me and I can help the best way that I can.

So basically his mom still calls him his deadname because his father doesn't know, but he just stands up for himself so people call him the name he wants. Like when my friend says "merelle" he goes "Moss. It's moss. you don't have no rights to call me that" and just goes about his day

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hi, I'm sorry about this and I hope you will be okay soon.