Triggering: Transphobic friend/group in general

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Earlier today one of my friends sent a photo of a girl in our six form and said with the photo “no offence but she looks like a transgender woman”. This didn’t sit right with me and not one person said anything to her in the group chat (there’s around 12 of us) and so I called her out on it. She instantly got defensive and said that “she didn’t need to be educated”, and I replied with a calm tone trying to just tell her she shouldn’t make those types of comments. Well, a couple people in the group chat then began defending her saying that I attacked her for no reason. This isn’t the first incident of transphobia or homophobia within my group and I want to distance myself but I’m finding a hard time doing so. If anyone has any advice on how I can distance myself from the group then that’d be great. I have two really close friends in the group who are pretty content with staying and I don’t want to drift away from them, and I’m honestly at a loss of what to do. I’m just sick of being friends with these kind of people.[/size][/color][/font]

[Dawn.]

Hello there,

Firstly, I want to say well done for sticking up for this person! It takes a lot of courage to do so and it seems like you did really well. It can be hard to be in a group where you don't see eye to eye with them. The only thing I can suggest is to do what makes you happy whether it be still being friends with those that are closer to you in the group and finding another group to be friends with or to remain in the group - the choice is ultimately up to you. It seems like however that you may not be happy with your current group of friends? I hope I helped and if there is anything, please let me know.

Hey there. First of all, I want to say it's really awesome that you stood up to your friends and defended the person they were making fun of. Peer pressure, especially among young people, can make it hard to speak out against the group when something transphobic, homophobic, racist, ableist, etc. is said. The fact you stood up not just for your beliefs, but for what's right, speaks volumes about your character. So thank you.

It's hard to leave a friend group, especially if it's been an established one for so long. But these are not the type of people you want to be friends with. It's not just the person(s) who made the comment; people who are complacent, and say nothing when these kinds of things happen, are just as much at fault. They are all part of the problem.

I think how you want to leave your friend group is up to you; I am not sure there's a "best" way to do it. You could make a public statement as to why you are leaving, and essentially cut them off all at once. You could slowly just fade out of conversation. There's options. As for your two friends you like, maybe you can talk to them. Let them know you're feeling upset about what's going on and you want to cut ties. I don't see why you can't be friends with them just because they're a part of the group and you aren't anymore. I think it can all work out with clear communication.

Good luck, and PM me if you need anything.

[Rika]

I drop them like a fly. I do not like transphobia, homophobia, or xenophobia of any kind. Always stand up for your friends and stop this sorta stuff.