TeenHelp - I'm so stressed out

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I'm so stressed out

I wish I had a label for myself, yet at the same time, I hate labels. It's so confusing.

For reference, I am a cis female and for the most part consider myself straight. However, in the past year or so, I have started to like some nonbinary people, and to make matters worse, I have fallen for my best friend who is also nonbinary. And I mean, this is the biggest crush I've ever had, I can imagine my entire life with them.

I like men a lot, I have lots of crushes on lots of men, I'm pretty straight. But there's these huge glaring exceptions so it doesn't feel right or appropriate to call myself straight, but what label am I supposed to use? Bisexual does not feel right at all to me, even if I know that bisexuality can be an umbrella, it does not seem to suit me. I want to be straight, I just want everything to be straightforward (pun unintended) and easy to describe and not have to use specific labels for everything. Yet at the same time, I need to know what I am.

I don't know what I want. I hate myself for feeling this way. You know, sometimes, I wish I was aro-ace, because love and all those kind of feelings can be so stressful and overwhelming.

I don't understand myself anymore.

Re: I'm so stressed out

Hey :)

I completely understand the confusion you're going through and it must be really difficult not knowing how best to describe yourself. You're right in that labels are confusing, but sometimes they're really useful in putting into words how we feel. That can be very affirming.

I did a quick google search and came across the word "heteroflexible", which essentially means someone is heterosexual, but may occasionally experience feelings and attractions to genders other than the opposite. I do not know that much about the label, but I guess it makes sense that it could include non-binary people as well as any and all other genders.

I definitely think it's okay to experiment with different labels and see which one you feel fits you best though. This was based off of a very quick google search, so there are likely other words out there too.

It's okay to not entirely understand yourself. You're 16, and there's a good chance many other people your age (maybe even people you know or have met) are questioning their sexualities too. It's normal, and it's hard, and that's okay.

I hope this has helped a bit. Feel free to message me if you want to talk at all.

Re: I'm so stressed out

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soda_Voxel (Post 1364069)

To my belief, you are experiencing an identity crisis.
Look inward and explore. Take some time out to really look within yourself and ask yourself some questions about what you like and don't like anymore.
Search for joy and other ways to cope. What makes you happy?
Find support
Ignore internal and external judgment.
Reconnect with Yourself.
Incorporating a mindfulness practice goes far beyond our own identity. There are so many ways to reconnect with yourself, to stay present, focused, and resilient.

Re: I'm so stressed out

That's your latent side talking. I like girls sexually too, but probably because they don't like me, I sometimes have thoughts of having sex with guys.