Questioning my gender identity

[Efica]

So, I've been questioning my gender identity lately. I identified as female for my whole life, but I've always been different than other girls. I don't feel like I fit in the norms of the female gender. I don't really dress like a normal girl, I like sporty and comfortable clothes more, I don't like makeup, nail polishing, skirts, dresses, gossip, talking about boys(mostly because I'm a lesbian)... I like gaming, memes and things boys like more. I feel like I could be a demi-girl, but I don't really want to be a boy. Also I try to avoid thinking about being non-binary because that would make things even more complicated. I'm from Croatia and Croatian is way more complicated than English so I don't know what pronouns I could use. Help! I'm really confused. Also if you know any non-binary pronouns in Croatian that would help a lot. Thanks!

[Rivière]

Just because you're different than the majority of girls in your area doesn't necessarily mean you have to identify as anything other than female.

I don't like make up. I hate wearing dresses. I always wear trousers like jeans, cargo trousers, and hiking bottoms. I dislike wearing leggings. I prefer loose jogging bottoms. I love gaming (especially first person shooters). I love weightlifting (I don't body-build but it's near enough to that direction). I never do girly-girl things like have those stereotypical pyjama sleepovers or gossip/discuss boys. I'm also gay. Most of my friends are male because I find them easier to get along with.

I know for a fact that despite all of that, I'm 100% cis female. Just because I don't do any of those stereotypical 'girl' things doesn't mean I should identify as anything else.

In my opinion, gender identity goes beyond superficial things like what a person wears, what their hobbies are, or what their sexual attraction is. It's about how a person feels inside. How comfortable that person is with the body they were given, and how happy they are with it.

I understand that maybe you want a yes-no answer, or for someone to determine your identity for you, but unfortunately no one can do that but you. These things take time. You're 14 years old. You have a long, long time to determine what you may/may not identify as. My biggest advice to you is to just be comfortable as you are now, and answers will come naturally over time. There's no need to rush into putting an identity label on yourself.

[Storyteller.]

Hey there,

As the user above me said, not liking traditionally feminine things doesn't necessarily make you anything other than female. However, it can be an indication that maybe your gender identity doesn't match up with what you were assigned at birth. For example I was never particularly "girly" as a child, but it wasn't until I was out of my teen years that I finally realised I wasn't a girl. But I've had friends also don't like dresses or makeup, who like sports and video games, and who still identify as female. Your gender is more than just how you present yourself or what your hobbies are. It's who you are, and you can be any gender in any way you like.

It can also be very tricky for AFAB (assigned female at birth) folks, since there's a lot of pressure for women and girls to behave and look a certain way. Maybe you're not a girl, or maybe you just don't want to be a girl the way that society says you should. It's okay if that's something that you want to explore, and it's okay if that takes you a while. Figuring out who you are, especially when it may not line up with how other people see you or how you think you should be, can be a complicated process, and it can be hard to know where to start. So here's my advice: start with something simple. If "what gender am I?" is too vague or overwhelming a question, try "what would make me happy?" instead. If changing your presentation (hair, clothes, makeup, etc) would make you happy, go for it. If trying out a new name or pronouns fills you with joy, do it. It's okay to experiment, to change your mind, even to say "I don't know". You don't have to put a label to it right away (although labels can be helpful for some people so if that's what you feel you need than absolutely try some out), you can just be you and let things fall into place.

As far as pronouns go, I'm not entirely sure what options there are, but I guarantee you're not the first person to have this problem. I'm friends with an agender person whose first language isn't English, and they use neopronouns (newer pronouns specifically designed to be gender neutral or more encompassing than he/she) in their native language. If you can't find a pronoun set that works for you, you can always create one! Language is always evolving, and if it doesn't suit your purpose, you can create new words that do the job.

Overall it's about what you feel comfortable with, and what you can change or embrace in order to feel like your most authentic self. Maybe new labels or names or pronouns or presentation will help you feel like yourself, or maybe just exploring the possibility of not being cisgender will give you enough insight to allow you to feel confident in who you are. Regardless of where the journey takes you, I hope it brings you the answers you're looking for. Best of luck, and feel free to write back or start a new thread if you need more advice.